Author Topic: a short poem... Grilled  (Read 1445 times)

Offline bobthebuilder

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a short poem... Grilled
« on: February 10, 2012, 06:44:49 PM »
I am master of the BBQ. I take my grilling seriously. My poetry, not so much.


Grilled


Fire
Primal, Dangerous
Vital warmth and light

Flames
Dance, Tease
Playful yet powerful

Grill
Black, Mysterious
Transformation lies within

Meat
Marbled, Seasoned
Awaits flame's embrace

Hands
Steady, Sure
Orchestrate ancient dance

Tools
Tongs, Skewer
Impervious to flame

Cooking
Sizzling, Aromatic
Anticipation builds


Finished
Succulent, Seared
Delights eye and palate

Served
Juicy, Rested
Hungry guests await

NUF SAID
LET'S EAT
« Last Edit: February 12, 2012, 10:22:16 AM by bobthebuilder »
Losers quit when they get tired. Winners quit when they win.

Offline bowmore bill

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Re: a short poem... Grilled
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2012, 03:17:25 PM »
Hi Bob I like this.
The only offputing thing for me is that it seems like a series of events
rather than poetry or prose{ that is what you tried?}
Try changing the format and joining them up to make one piece.

Ps, tell me to p*ss of if you like....well done.

Offline bobthebuilder

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Re: a short poem... Grilled
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2012, 08:46:22 PM »
Hi Bob I like this.
The only offputing thing for me is that it seems like a series of events
rather than poetry or prose{ that is what you tried?}
Try changing the format and joining them up to make one piece.

Ps, tell me to p*ss of if you like....well done.
Hey, I'm glad you took the time to comment! I was going for a dramatic emphasis of the steps involved in grilling, but obviously tongue in cheek. Just havin fun! Thanks so much for reading.
Losers quit when they get tired. Winners quit when they win.

Offline Dibbledabble

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Re: a short poem... Grilled
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2012, 03:57:44 PM »
Works for me Bob. I like the style. Each section an action and response. Each Stanza making the occurrence clearer and the result is natural

LETS EAT

Hungry now!

Dibs

Offline bobthebuilder

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Re: a short poem... Grilled
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2012, 11:42:42 PM »
Works for me Bob. I like the style. Each section an action and response. Each Stanza making the occurrence clearer and the result is natural

LETS EAT

Hungry now!

Dibs
Hey! Thanks for reading and thanks for the generous comment. You have an open invite.
Losers quit when they get tired. Winners quit when they win.

Offline Mike Stevens

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Re: a short poem... Grilled
« Reply #5 on: February 19, 2012, 02:33:08 PM »
I agree with Dibs; let's eat (you can't tell it's almost lunch time, can you?)

Offline bobthebuilder

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Re: a short poem... Grilled
« Reply #6 on: February 19, 2012, 05:09:26 PM »
I agree with Dibs; let's eat (you can't tell it's almost lunch time, can you?)
Firing up the grill right now!
Losers quit when they get tired. Winners quit when they win.