Author Topic: They've asked for the full. Hmmm, it's not clean!  (Read 1193 times)

Offline mfarraday

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Re: They've asked for the full. Hmmm, it's not clean!
« Reply #15 on: February 11, 2012, 11:41:25 AM »
for me, the best parts of this was that 1) you did the dialect of the characters so well, i forgot i was reading and actually felt like i was there with them, and got a great sense of their dialogue and how they were talking. it was so real to me! 2) i liked the imagery from when Gloria was waiting through Sandra's prayers in the 1st piece. she was having a range of thoughts one after another, and i could picture what was going on in her mind as you described it. very well done. 3) i liked the back-and-forth between the two girls - maybe again it was the language you used, but it was very charming and drew me in. i liked the mockery of one (sister?) making fun of the other. very sister-like. 4) in the 2nd part, i liked how you described Mr. Littlewood, his yellow skin and the grooves in his face carved by tears. and then i loved the poetry at the end that one of the sisters recited. nice.

somehow everything worked together. i didn't know a lot of the details that went on behind the scenes here, but it didn't matter, you made it easy on the reader and i was lured in. great job. you are a very skilled writer indeed.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2012, 11:43:01 AM by mfarraday »



Offline johnnyh2

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Re: They've asked for the full. Hmmm, it's not clean!
« Reply #16 on: February 12, 2012, 07:32:47 AM »
Hi there.

Hey, mfarraday, thanks so much.  You've put a smile on my face and made my day.  Cheers mate.  ;D
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