Author Topic: poetry- All We Have Are Words  (Read 569 times)

Offline bobthebuilder

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poetry- All We Have Are Words
« on: February 07, 2012, 08:03:23 PM »


All We Have Are Words

As we struggle to put thoughts and emotions onto page,
we are frustrated at every turn
by these pesky little things
called words.

They stumble and tumble, lines and arcs,
squiggles and dots,
and race across the page,
on a journey,
to become thoughts.

To those who can't read the language we chose,
nothing makes sense.
Sometimes, nothing makes sense in any language.
Sometimes there are no words.
Sometimes, a thousand words are not enough.
Sometimes, one word is one word too many.

A look, a sigh, a downcast eye,
can speak directly to our hearts.
A touch, a scent, can convey more meaning
than a sonnet,
or a hundred love songs.
Just one inflection, a lilt, or whisper,
can trigger a cascade of emotions
no words can describe.

Yet describe them we must,
for we are compelled,
with a story to tell,
a life to describe.
Or a moment.
Alas, the challenge.
For a lifetime may be summed up in a sentence,
while a moment
can inspire a lifetime.

As mortal beings we are frustrated,
trapped inside a prison of flesh and bone.
We can see out, but none can ever truly see in.
Their view is but that of shadows cast on a wall,
revealing only a fraction of our true nature.
We are left with words, then, inadequate as they are,
to communicate our thoughts, and hopes, and dreams.

We long to see through the eyes of another,
to be privy to the workings of another's soul.
We long to gaze into a lover's eyes as if into our own.
For truly, we gaze into a mirror and see our own souls,
but as we look into another's eyes we see only a reflection of ourselves.

So language continues to expand,
to dimensions never imagined,
and still falls short.
At a loss for words, we invent new ones, on and on,
and still it is never enough.
We strive to use the words we have,
which are limited,
to describe that which is unlimited.

Perhaps that is why God said we can never know Him, truly,
while we are only flesh and blood.
Until we are released from our bony vaults,
and the universe is revealed in all its glory,
when time and space and existence become as one.

Until then,
all we have are words.


I know it's a little long, but I had a lot to say. It's almost two poems, the middle being a bit rambling, but I tried to tie it all together. What do you all think?



Losers quit when they get tired. Winners quit when they win.

hillwalker3000

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Re: poetry- All We Have Are Words
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2012, 05:57:20 PM »
Long it is - perhaps now you have poured all your thoughts onto paper
you might read through it again and cut out the 'rambling'.
You admit it goes on and on - so follow your instincts
and do something about it.

If you want to get your message across you need to do so as briefly
and concisely as possible.
In poetry less = more.

This one covers so much ground that in the end I felt I was going in circles.
Is it about words? or about being unable to see another person's point of view?
or about language? or even about not knowing God?????

You say it's almost two poems. I counted at least 4 fighting each other to be heard.
And, of course, in the end all I wanted was silence rather than words.

Your exuberance shines through what you write,
but you need to pull on the reins and take control.
Look at how other writers manage to condense their thoughts
into as few words as possible.

It's a bit like building a house...
once it's finished you're meant to remove the scaffolding.
There's a lot of scaffolding in this poem
and it's important to know what is safe to cut out
when you've finished your writing.

H3K

Offline Katinka

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Re: poetry- All We Have Are Words
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2012, 08:42:38 PM »
I agree with hillwalker.

The middle is a topic of its own. The rest you could tighten up.
It's good--I think--I think.

I got out my old Norton Anthology I used in college, to read up on poetry--well, it's not easy. Don't know why I thought I wrote poems just because they rhymed.

Some of your stanzas rhym at first and then go into free verse. That's all I can say. 

Offline bobthebuilder

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Re: poetry- All We Have Are Words
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2012, 01:57:54 AM »
Long it is - perhaps now you have poured all your thoughts onto paper
you might read through it again and cut out the 'rambling'.
You admit it goes on and on - so follow your instincts
and do something about it.

If you want to get your message across you need to do so as briefly
and concisely as possible.
In poetry less = more.

This one covers so much ground that in the end I felt I was going in circles.
Is it about words? or about being unable to see another person's point of view?
or about language? or even about not knowing God?????

You say it's almost two poems. I counted at least 4 fighting each other to be heard.
And, of course, in the end all I wanted was silence rather than words.

Your exuberance shines through what you write,
but you need to pull on the reins and take control.
Look at how other writers manage to condense their thoughts
into as few words as possible.

It's a bit like building a house...
once it's finished you're meant to remove the scaffolding.
There's a lot of scaffolding in this poem
and it's important to know what is safe to cut out
when you've finished your writing.

H3K

Thank you, you've given me something to think about.
Losers quit when they get tired. Winners quit when they win.

Offline bobthebuilder

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Re: poetry- All We Have Are Words
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2012, 01:58:41 AM »
I agree with hillwalker.

The middle is a topic of its own. The rest you could tighten up.
It's good--I think--I think.

I got out my old Norton Anthology I used in college, to read up on poetry--well, it's not easy. Don't know why I thought I wrote poems just because they rhymed.

Some of your stanzas rhym at first and then go into free verse. That's all I can say. 
Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment.
Losers quit when they get tired. Winners quit when they win.