Author Topic: You  (Read 646 times)

Offline Katinka

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You
« on: February 12, 2012, 07:40:42 AM »
Is this a poem...?

You are in my destiny, for a moment or a lifetime
who can say? I love you deeply when you are close
I am bewitched; your touch excites my flesh,
your presence pleasures me; your voice calms my heart,
your body calls for mine, I come to you. You are my home,
in you, I find my rest.

I want to set you free. I want to disconnect.
There are shades of gray between us, habits, attitudes,
long established rules, too difficult to face, to change.
I watched you, you watched me, and we said little or none
on matters, we both will disagree on.
I have lived a life alone so have you. We managed our
identity in our separate worlds.

Which one of us will sacrifice to please the other?
Which one will loose what precious freedoms each
has wrought in perseverance, in aloneness.
Do we love enough to conquer our own wants and needs?
and gladly give ourselves to the other, not in measure
but in melting.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2012, 07:42:50 AM by Katinka »

Offline randi.lee

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Re: You
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2012, 09:52:24 AM »
Katinka,

If you think it's a poem, it's a poem. That's the great thing about artistic license :) (See E.E. Cummings)

Offline SparkyDashforth

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Re: You
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2012, 11:33:03 AM »
This is light years away from e.e. cummings.

Katrinka, did you take on board the Telling/Showing stuff?
I am not saying you cannot write a good Telling poem but it has to be GOOD
and not full of loose platitudinous chat.

Sorry but this is not my cup of tea. Cummings on the other hand is!

Sparky


Offline Katinka

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Re: You
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2012, 12:22:26 PM »
randi

If you think it's a poem, it's a poem. That's the great thing about artistic license :) (See E.E. Cummings) I'm not sure who he is but I'll try to find him  ;D

Offline Katinka

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Re: You
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2012, 12:28:25 PM »
Sparky

I'm trying--give me a chance to learn. This stuff has been sitting in a file for a long time and I'm dusting it off. So, I'll throw away the garbage and keep some like the last one. Beg your pardon, I'm a little slow and really quite undisciplined, not by choice...(smiles) 

Kat

Yup, to me, writing is like bowling. On the other hand, If I get to write like Tiger Woods plays golf, I'll be riding high.  ;)

Offline SparkyDashforth

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Re: You
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2012, 12:42:23 PM »
It can be a sharp learning curve K
there may come a day when your old poems won't ask you
to like them anymore, rather they will be like messages in a bottle
prodding that future you to write better.
There is often a watershed in an artist life when he or she 'gets it.'
From then on they will not be satisfied with the old way anymore.
Remember, a poet is more a painter using words, not a talker of his/her thoughts.

Best

sparky

Offline Katinka

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Re: You
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2012, 04:48:36 PM »
Sparky

Remember, a poet is more a painter using words, not a talker of his/her thoughts.

Profound.

The watershed is future or never, we'll see.