Author Topic: Loose-Weave Sheer // Question  (Read 2186 times)

Offline ma100

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Re: Loose-Weave Sheer // Question
« Reply #15 on: February 02, 2012, 07:06:45 AM »
Or even

The fire danced soft golden light through the rafters. Megan trailed her fingers through his hair as she prowled around him. He sucked in his breath when she slipped the blanket from her shoulders. A milky-white chemise did little to hide her charms.

Sorry, couldn't resist.  ::) ;D

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: Loose-Weave Sheer // Question
« Reply #16 on: February 02, 2012, 07:12:40 AM »
That works. I'm not too sure about 'prowled' but that's the idea. I'm not quite there yet, just thinking ahead.
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Sam Cooper

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Re: Loose-Weave Sheer // Question
« Reply #17 on: February 02, 2012, 07:17:36 AM »
Quote
The fire danced shadows and its soft golden light through the rafters. Megan trailed her fingers through his hair as she sauntered her way around standing before him; letting the blanket slip from her shoulders. The milky-white chemise she wore did little to hide her charms as she knelt.

I think 'shift' would work without being associated to an automobile. Your story is set at a time when shifts were articles of clothing and by this time in the story, it could be easily be attached to nightwear. It is not one word which defines an era, it is the whole as a story.

sauntered - doesn't seem sensual enough, it seems too uncaring.

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: Loose-Weave Sheer // Question
« Reply #18 on: February 02, 2012, 07:23:02 AM »
Hey Sam.  ;D

sauntered - doesn't seem sensual enough, it seems too uncaring. I agree. Ma didn't seem to like that one either.

Shift- okay, I'm pondering Chemise vs Shift  ???
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Sam Cooper

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Re: Loose-Weave Sheer // Question
« Reply #19 on: February 02, 2012, 07:27:34 AM »
Don't get stuck on this. It's not so much the cloth but the body underneath which is to catch his eyes

Sam Cooper

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Re: Loose-Weave Sheer // Question
« Reply #20 on: February 02, 2012, 07:29:41 AM »
A bit like the movements. She can just move around him. There are times in a story when a rock is a rock, a walk is a walk. When you over-colour, you distract from the importance of the scene. Ask yourself, why did you mention this moment. What did you mean to show more.

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: Loose-Weave Sheer // Question
« Reply #21 on: February 02, 2012, 07:37:58 AM »
Yeah, I just went through that where I overacted a reaction and ended up scratching most of it.

- why did you mention this moment. The mood I'm seeing is a playful tease from his bride on their night alone.
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Offline Dawn

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Re: Loose-Weave Sheer // Question
« Reply #22 on: February 02, 2012, 07:46:42 AM »
Skip, I remembered I came across a website once that may help you.

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?allowed_in_frame=0&search=chemise&searchmode=none

Hope this helps.
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Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: Loose-Weave Sheer // Question
« Reply #23 on: February 02, 2012, 07:53:06 AM »
Shoot yeah. Thank you. That nixes the word 'Shift' as it didn't came into favor for another 300 years.

I'm going to add this to my Link-List.  ;D
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Offline Dawn

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Re: Loose-Weave Sheer // Question
« Reply #24 on: February 02, 2012, 07:56:44 AM »
You're welcome ;D

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Offline Dawn

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Re: Loose-Weave Sheer // Question
« Reply #25 on: February 02, 2012, 08:02:27 AM »
This is quite good.

http://www.ipl.org/

You can ask a librarian a question and they will find out for you.

Not sure if you need dialect, but this is also good.

http://www.dictionaryofslang.co.uk/
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Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: Loose-Weave Sheer // Question
« Reply #26 on: February 02, 2012, 08:04:07 AM »
Paying it forward, here's the link to the Link-List thread.

http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php/topic,33128.msg551583.html#msg551583
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Offline Dawn

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Re: Loose-Weave Sheer // Question
« Reply #27 on: February 02, 2012, 08:13:31 AM »
All done Skip ;)
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Sam Cooper

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Re: Loose-Weave Sheer // Question
« Reply #28 on: February 02, 2012, 08:17:07 AM »
:)

I know you wished to make a seductive moment. What I'm saying is don't drift away too far from it. :)

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: Loose-Weave Sheer // Question
« Reply #29 on: February 02, 2012, 08:19:40 AM »
I agree with you. A subtle shade of purple in the prose, awe?  ;D
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