Author Topic: Contradictions.  (Read 4586 times)

Offline 510bhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63305
  • So many jobs to do . . .
Re: Contradictions.
« Reply #45 on: November 09, 2011, 11:41:22 AM »
Laurzers -- glad you popped in again. ;)

We all struggle. Your explanation shows why it is older stuff you are posting, but I think you have the courage to explore where you are now and what you want to say.

Folk here can be harsh and abrupt -- but honestly, it is all meant to spur you to greater things.

You have emotions and you can express them -- try using some of the advice.

If I were you, I wouldn't duck the issue. Just because you have Down's Syndrome does not mean you cannot fit in here and do some serious work with your poetry. Other sites will be good for your fun element of reading poetry, so find some you enjoy, but if you really do want to make something of these emotions . . . stick with it and dare to be real and raw.

We have all sorts of people here who have challenges they endeavour to overcome.

Well done you for taking the time and effort to make your posts -- they are appreciated.  ;) Don't be downhearted by the crits though, as your writing improves you will get so much satisfaction out of the peronal progression you have made when you see more positive responses. Sometimes, we hit a goodie and sometimes we hit a crummy one. All we can do is keep trying.

 :) :) :)

Whoops -- forgot to say, there is the Gallery available if you would like to showcase some of your work but go without the crits if that makes life easier for you.

« Last Edit: November 09, 2011, 11:43:13 AM by 510bhan »

Offline Amie

  • Esteemed Contributor
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8460
    • threegeese
Re: Contradictions.
« Reply #46 on: November 09, 2011, 11:46:01 AM »
Hi Laurzers -

I do think if you feel that you (for whatever reasons) want a certain style of response, you need to let the reader know first, before you post.

Everyone's different, but the comments are still valid, and people are commenting on the poem, not the person.

There is no need to worry about not being accepted - this is not a cliquey board, honestly. But general etiquette will still hold. (ie, it will always wind people up if you ask for critique, and then dismiss comments with a "But I wrote this ten years ago").

Please feel free to continue posting here, or on the Gallery - but you have to let people know what you want, and you can't expect people to be mind-readers! :)

best regards
Amie

"You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet." - Kafka

Offline Vienna

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7389
Re: Contradictions.
« Reply #47 on: November 09, 2011, 11:48:45 AM »
hey you! Great that you are still here. You will be accepted here? Why shouldn't you be. Good that you decided not to disappear. Stick around and learn! People will sometimes be or will seem to be harsh but they are not knocking YOU as a person! Down's Syndrom will never be a cause for problems here. Looking forward to seeing more writing from you.


cheers
Richard
Just a well-read punk peasant

Going to church makes you a christian as much as standing in a garage makes you a car!

Offline SparkyDashforth

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3801
Re: Contradictions.
« Reply #48 on: November 09, 2011, 02:00:27 PM »
Woa,

hey Lauzer is it too late to give you a hug?

Look I know you think you have been singled out and picked on here,
and I know your feelings are real.  I am not comparing my disability
to yours but I was born severely dyslexic.  Educating myself and making it
in a professional career seemed impossible but if you want something bad
enough you can do it.  I was not born with any kind of silver spoon in my
mouth either., and it did not help to have abusive parents.  

Enough about me, but I know a little bit of the challenges
you face in life.  I must say though that you will have to take the licks
and the (metaphorical) kicks in life if you want to improve as a writer.
No one gets anywhere by not listening to advice because they think that
advice was not nice.  This is a forum that lets you have feedback on your writing.
Sometimes you will get good feedback that is negative, and bad feedback
which is positive.  Its up to the poet to sort the comments out.  If you
are going to bristle at every perceived slur to your work, you will not
improve or enjoy yourself here, but if you take your ego out of your writing
you as an artist might (in time) flower here.

Best

The GOM



Glad you are still around

sparky

 
« Last Edit: November 09, 2011, 03:18:40 PM by SparkyDashforth »

Offline SparkyDashforth

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3801
Re: Contradictions.
« Reply #49 on: November 09, 2011, 02:02:58 PM »
Richard you are killing me!!!!!!!!!!

Priceless :D ;) :D ;D ;)

Offline SparkyDashforth

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3801
Re: Contradictions.
« Reply #50 on: November 09, 2011, 02:04:16 PM »
Sio

I have to take marks off your poem. It is too good to be bad.

Keep writing though, one day all your writing might suck ;D

Offline SparkyDashforth

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3801
Re: Contradictions.
« Reply #51 on: November 09, 2011, 02:09:50 PM »
"As I walk down life's long and winding road
and see my fellow men who walk in pain
I want to share their burden, ease their load
A problem shared is a problem halved, we all have much to gain!"


Oh my Amie, these lines stink so very much!  I can actually smell them
from thousands of miles away.
Each line is an exemplar of god awfulness.

Well done!

I might have to wait days here to read a worse post than this :D

Bravo!

Dashers


Offline Amie

  • Esteemed Contributor
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8460
    • threegeese
Re: Contradictions.
« Reply #52 on: November 09, 2011, 03:18:35 PM »
Thanks Dashy :)

I finally found the thread with the full poem here. Read it and weep (quite possibly literally)

http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php/topic,12477.0.html
"You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet." - Kafka

Offline SparkyDashforth

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3801
Re: Contradictions.
« Reply #53 on: November 09, 2011, 03:33:09 PM »
Yikes Amie
my very marrow is numb after reading this masterpiece.
The pathos and sheer damn humanity of it makes me
instantly sick to my curly toes.
You have dredged the very trough of the muse here
and served it up steaming.  Mind bogglingly atrocious.
I can almost envision the enthusiastic applause
you would get for this work if you posted it anonymously ;D

A stunning, tear jerking slice of Shinola. I am truly distraught!   ;D



Love is All You Need

As I trudge down the long and winding road
And see my fellow men who walk in pain
I want to ease their burden, share their load
A problem shared is also halved we both have much to gain!

But some will watch, let selfish thoughts take over
And blindly put their own needs way up top
If only they would stop and help their brother
There's so much heartache we could together stop

So if you have a chance to do some caring
And give to someone else for a small while
Just think all the love we could be sharing
So stop and help that "lame dog" o'er the stile!



Bravo!!!!!!!!!!

Offline Amie

  • Esteemed Contributor
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8460
    • threegeese
Re: Contradictions.
« Reply #54 on: November 09, 2011, 05:27:29 PM »
Hmmm - I wonder if it's time to have another crappy poem contest? In which case I should probably split this thread, so that we stop hijacking it!
"You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet." - Kafka

Offline SparkyDashforth

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3801
Re: Contradictions.
« Reply #55 on: November 09, 2011, 05:34:41 PM »
I would give it a shot Amie.
I am full of poetry and crap :D