Author Topic: Rock n Roll Lifestyle (300 Wds)  (Read 1226 times)

Offline scotty511

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Rock n Roll Lifestyle (300 Wds)
« on: November 01, 2011, 09:23:58 PM »
Rock ‘n Roll Lifestyle



The guy yelling at me right now, the one with the stupid neck tattoo, that’s Chad. A little vomit splattered on his guitar case. “Big deal. Just wipe it off with a rag,” I say. See the way his eye twitches? He looks capable of violence. Promise you won’t tell him I made out with his girlfriend last week.
   
That guy sitting on the wheel-well pretending to drum, he’s actually the bass player, Gordon. He’s just doing that cause he’s antsy. Don’t you think he should wear a hat? Yeah, me too. That bald spot is not very rock ‘n roll. “Cover it up, old man." I toss a knit cap from the floor of the van and now he’s glaring at me. I’ve mentioned this before.
   
We fly up a half inch and so does our equipment.
   
“Watch the road, Moron,”  I yell.
   
“Did someone puke back there? It reeks.” That’s Jimmy, the drummer, owner of the van, and always the last one to get a fix on the situation.
   
“Don’t worry about it,”  I tell him. “By the way, it’s the pedal on the right, Grandma.” If he doesn’t get us there in time, I’m gonna lose my cool.
   
Now everyone, including Jimmy via the rear-view mirror, is staring at me. They’re nervous about our first gig together, I can tell. Since I’ve taken it upon myself to lead this band, it’s up to me to say something. I shrug my shoulders and offer up my palms. “Money for nothin’, chicks for free?” Let’s just hope they pony up free drinks at the bar tonight. I don’t know how much longer I can stand these guys.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2011, 10:55:34 AM by scotty511 »
Like all writers, he measured the achievements of others by what they had accomplished, asking of them that they measure him by what he envisaged or planned. - Borges

heidi52

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Re: Rock n Roll Lifestyle (300 Wds)
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2011, 06:04:30 AM »
Good start, I expect this will be followed by more?  

The only thing I didn't like is the start of the first 2 Ps. "the guy/that guy" = too much repetition in such a short time.

I think you need "it" between wipe and off.

Interested to read more.

Offline scotty511

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Re: Rock n Roll Lifestyle (300 Wds)
« Reply #2 on: November 04, 2011, 10:27:10 AM »
Good catch Heidi, it's amazing what my eyes choose to miss sometimes. This was just written for fun, maybe it'll grow, maybe not.

Scotty
Like all writers, he measured the achievements of others by what they had accomplished, asking of them that they measure him by what he envisaged or planned. - Borges

Offline bowmore bill

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Re: Rock n Roll Lifestyle (300 Wds)
« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2011, 07:09:37 PM »
Liked it Scotty, a personal journey?

Offline scotty511

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Re: Rock n Roll Lifestyle (300 Wds)
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2011, 10:19:31 AM »
Thanks, Bill.

Not a personal journey, at least not yet. I could still learn guitar . . .
Like all writers, he measured the achievements of others by what they had accomplished, asking of them that they measure him by what he envisaged or planned. - Borges

Offline Jazmin

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Re: Rock n Roll Lifestyle (300 Wds)
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2011, 04:31:27 AM »
Scotty, you should probably post some more of your stories. I have always loved your voice.
The correct usage of an ellipsis...is for the removal of greenfly from a rosebush.