Author Topic: The Devil's Retreat  (Read 2220 times)

Offline 510bhan

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The Devil's Retreat
« on: October 25, 2011, 05:30:11 PM »
The Devil’s Retreat

Satan sat hunched by the sulphurous hearth, ticked off that Christmas lights and decorations were already being put up in the towns and villages. Halloween hadn’t even been yet. He sucked on a finger, zapping sparks to his tongue, but even that failed to shift his depression. Rain and grey skies didn’t help his mood. “This is my time of the year. How dare they hijack it.”

Michael, Raphael, Uriel and Gabriel looked on non-plussed. They were familiar with his sulks, but this particular funk had settled upon Satan with such darkness they decided some divine intervention was required.

"Fancy a bit of soul stealing?” asked Uriel.

Satan zapped a spark at him, but didn’t reply.

“C’mon, it’s expected. You can’t sit and wallow. You gotta get pro-active.”

Satan growled such a deep guttural roar the space around them shuddered. “And become a trick or treater? Give in to commercial manipulation? Never! I’d prefer to sit in and watch re-runs of the Exorcist and the Omen.”

Huge plumes of fire rose from the floor and licked the walls. Gabriel exhaled a cold breath and extinguished them. “We’ve got to do something, guys. He’ll wreck the place otherwise.”

Michael preened his wings with sharp talons and picked off a couple of singed feathers. “Change of scenery?”

The fallen angels looked at each other, variously nodding and shrugging. Satan glowered at them. “Where? Where would accept us at this time of year?”

Raphael exchanged looks with Uriel. “If you can’t beat ‘em, why not join ‘em?”

Satan’s horns stood out with even more prominence as he raised his brows. “Say what?”

“Santa’s grotto, as elves – seriously, just think of the opportunities. No saints or hallowed souls to interfere once midnight chimes – and it usually lasts twelve days.”

“And all the Christmas wishes we could destroy, you could have a ball,” said Gabriel.

Satan huffed. “It wouldn’t be the same. It’s all that Jack O’ Lantern’s fault, hopping around pumpkin patches, sucking up to the witches and the grim reaper. Souls are meant to be mine.” He stood up, flicked back his tail so it thrashed the brimstone floor and sent sparks flying. “Mine! I need rejuvenation. We must settle with the lost souls and wait for Halloween.”

The four angels nodded. “Ol’ red eyes is back,” whispered Michael.

“Where we goin’ Boss?” asked Uriel.

“The one place that never changes, the permanent hell on earth,” Satan bellowed. Each of the angels flapped their wings in agitation. Satan’s eyes glowed. “To Walmart.”




Offline hedinsen

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Re: The Devil's Retreat
« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2011, 12:39:42 PM »
Thanks 510 bhan, I needed a good chuckle today, Wal-Mart!  I'd never have guessed.  Great short piece.  # # #

Offline heidi52

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Re: The Devil's Retreat
« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2011, 12:55:27 PM »
Now I know where the customers get their fashion directives.

Excellent Sio!  Will think of this piece everytime I go there.  ;D ;D

Offline 510bhan

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Re: The Devil's Retreat
« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2011, 01:12:30 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D

Glad you were amused. ;)

Offline Kowboy

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Re: The Devil's Retreat
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2011, 06:29:12 PM »
That was fun.

Offline hedinsen

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Re: The Devil's Retreat
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2011, 07:34:30 PM »
Had to go to Wal-Mart this morning to get a few things.  The first thing I thought of was this piece:  True -- very true.  Even the Devil himself will avoid Wal-Mart the next couple weeks!  :D  # # #

Offline heidi52

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Re: The Devil's Retreat
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2011, 07:25:31 PM »
See what you have done Sio?

No one who has read your story will be able to go to Walmart and NOT think of it. And undoubtedly most of us will be going there more than we would like in the next month.  Evil, just evil.  :D :D :D

I think the devil made you do it!  :o

Offline 510bhan

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Re: The Devil's Retreat
« Reply #7 on: November 21, 2011, 07:36:10 PM »
See . . . the clever part was the anagram . . . SATAN/SANTA :P

>:D >:D >:D

Offline heidi52

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Re: The Devil's Retreat
« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2011, 07:37:41 PM »
Do we need to perform an exorcism??   ::)

Offline 510bhan

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Re: The Devil's Retreat
« Reply #9 on: November 21, 2011, 07:39:04 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

I though all sane shoppers at Walmart did that before they entered the doors to hell. ;)

Offline heidi52

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Re: The Devil's Retreat
« Reply #10 on: November 21, 2011, 07:40:21 PM »
"sane" shoppers at Hellmart?  They must be different in your part of the world.

Offline 510bhan

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Re: The Devil's Retreat
« Reply #11 on: November 21, 2011, 07:43:28 PM »
I consider my writing colleagues 'sane' though they do display strange behaviour at times, which may or may not include shopping expeditions forced upon them by friends, family and festive pressure and thus they are compelled to enter the doors of hell. I blame it on the economy! ;D

Offline hedinsen

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Re: The Devil's Retreat
« Reply #12 on: November 21, 2011, 07:44:35 PM »
Wal-Mart -- Now there's a scary thought in itself.  This morning the mad rush at Wal-Mart is underway.  My wife and son had to do a bit grocery shopping and went to Wal-Mart -- Tonight she told me the one here in Security/Widefield, CO was already a zoo - or was that hell.  Anyway -- you get the idea... Still good piece.  Change the last part to fit for Black Friday and you got it.   ;D :D # ##

Offline 510bhan

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Re: The Devil's Retreat
« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2011, 07:46:33 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D

It has an irrestible charm does ye olde Walmart. Oh, the devil made me write that. >:D