Why I don't write poetry...

[Sheree]

Here is a free form, sorta. I am not much into poetry but this helped me express some, er.. issues.

Tightrope
©S.Kima 2003

Tightrope
Take a taut walk, tripping, tangled, torn on your web of lies
String me along, stringing me up, seeing the strung out dance
Ice cold eying every flicker, blinking eyes, black and blue
Expect the fall, the failure, the frailty, the flailing... except... I can fly

I need you, I need the pain
Like a holy hole in my head, a hammer jack, kicking back to the brain
I want you, I want your love
Like chasing choco-lat-o thighs, spins round, drowns down the drain

Tightrope
Tuned key, tune out, toned down, tearing away, turning the knob
Accept the fall, the failure, the frailty, the flailing... accept... I can fly

[keyspoet]

Greetings, Sheree -

If this is an example of why you don't write poetry, I can tell you as a long time poet, you should write much more.  While not a perfect poem (how many are???), it is strong in content and viewpoint, and an absolutely great beginning to what could be a poem accessible - and inportant - to a great many people.  Poetry is a wonderful way of working out many issues, and I have used it this way in my own life, as well.  Your poem addresses issues which directly affect a great many of us, and your viewpoint is valuable - never let yourself think otherwise, regardless of others with whom you come in contact.

Keep writing!
Cori

[Jayel]

This brought a viseral reaction through your word imagery.  I enjoyed the feeling that in the end, self won against the adversity of love lost.

I think that poetry is meant to bring both reader and writer to that 'issue' dealing space and this piece does that, in my humble opinion.

[Symphony]

Powerful stuff!

Loved the play with words - skilfully done and extremely effective.

More, more, more ...

Symphony

[Mini]

This is exceptionally good stuff.

Not all poetry needs to rhyme perfectly, or scan brilliantly.
Sometimes the movement of the rhythm helps to emphasis the meaning of the poem.
This comes across beautifully.


Mini

[Sheree]

Wow. Thanks all for your encouragement.  I guess I should look into how to do this properly. Now if only I could locate my stories...