Author Topic: I need a friend.  (Read 1097 times)

Offline Skip454

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I need a friend.
« on: July 08, 2011, 06:57:02 AM »
I once had a friend, I remember her well. She was pretty and happy and fun to be around. She moved away and died of Leukaemia.

I once had a cat, his name was Lucky. He died from an infection he got from some birds that attacked him.

I once had a dog, he was a German Shepard named Champ. He died when hit by a car he was chasing.

I once had a model airplane I spent years building. I crashed it first flight.

I once had a rowboat in Virginia, it sank at the dock the day I bought it.

I once had a friend, he was strong as an Ox, he died in a car crash.

I once had another friend, she drowned while swimming.

I currently am out of friends.

Want to be my Friend???

 :D
« Last Edit: July 08, 2011, 06:58:36 AM by Skip454 »
Learn from others. Life is to short to make all the mistakes yourself.

Offline A.W.M

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Re: I need a friend.
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2011, 09:59:57 AM »
Skip, let me put it this way, "No way in hell do I want to be your friend."   

Just kidding. ;D
Most people live and die
with their music still unplayed.
They never dare to try.

~ Mary Kay Ash

Offline arkadia

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Re: I need a friend.
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2011, 08:16:54 AM »
Story of my life. Anything and anyone I get attached to, I tend to lose.

Offline jan summer

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Re: I need a friend.
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2011, 12:55:21 AM »
Eeeeep!

Lin

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Re: I need a friend.
« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2011, 03:24:13 AM »
I felt the body of this piece was interesting, but because it was so sad and each line rather negative it kind of sent me away from it.  Perhaps the last  lines should read 'I am out of friends or 'I am currently out of friends'  Not sure I would want to use the adverb.  If it was my poem I would balance the good with the bad - say two line of negative with one positive eg. the model airplane you spent years building could be followed up with - I glued it back together as best I could.

You get the point over very well, but due to the negativity I found it 'difficult' and I'm not sure what I mean by that to be honest.

If the words you write are true then for God sake will someone get this guy a friend - quick!

Lin x

Offline jvk1120

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Re: I need a friend.
« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2011, 12:19:30 AM »
This is very clever, and very funny.  well done!