Author Topic: A little review for Lin please  (Read 1499 times)

Lin

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A little review for Lin please
« on: August 16, 2006, 08:12:50 AM »
I dont normally post something twice, but I thought that on this occasion you might like to Review for me.

This was made up on the spur of the moment for another post.  I complain about having to live away from my native home, but just sometimes it has its benefits!!

It was just a bit of fun really


There is a land o'er North Sea coast
A land of clogs and windmills, tulips and Rembrandt
No hills, just man made land, as far as the eye can see.
And one day, a long time ago, I landed on the Eastern shore
A place where all the Dutchmen boast
Of unpronounceable names and Schiphol Airport
Was this the place I longed to be?
And not meaning for me to become a bore
I missed my hills with pink and bouncing heather
My days of Castleton, picnics by the river
Whitby, Scarborough and Captain Cook
My trips to Holy Island where Fulmars puke
Oh my! at the risk of being a bore
Im here in Holland now for evermore
This North Sea coast is not the same on the Eastern way
Yes! they've got buckets and spades like we have in Whitby
Sun umbrellas and ice cream, and no scenery over the dijk
But lots of kites and people wishing they could fly
And the wind how it blows upon the polders during May
When the tulips start to fade their final days below the sea
Heads are chopped and petals  harvested and I pedal my bike
And ask myself the many reasons why
Life takes us places we know little about
Getting used to living without
The place Ive lived, the person inside - me!
I will return for some mountain therapy!
But wait!  I have just one more plan
To take a trip to Amsterdam!
« Last Edit: August 22, 2006, 08:37:07 AM by Lin Treadgold »

Offline only_a_mortal

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Re: A little review for Lin please
« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2006, 09:10:02 AM »
I liked that very much, had a real sense of imagery, spunk, and tranquility. Your homeland sounds like a beautiful place.
Hurt

Nelodra

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Re: A little review for Lin please
« Reply #2 on: August 16, 2006, 09:28:15 AM »
Hey Lin,

I don't often review poetry, as I'm not a poet, but I'll try to have a go at this one...

There is a land o'er North Sea coast
A land of clogs and windmills, tulips and Rembrandt
No hills, just man made land, as far as the eye can see.
And one day, a long time ago, I landed on the Eastern shore
A place where all the Dutchmen boast
Of unpronounceable names and Schiphol Ariport

Which Eastern shore would that be, Lin? Holland has no eastern shores.
I also didn't really see my country in what you wrote. My country doesn't have those nice qualities you see in it.
My Holland is the place where you are prosecuted because you choose to homeschool your children.
It's a place where drugdealers have their market, and where rape and violence is quite common.  :'(

You see, I don't particularly like my country, and to me it's quite an eye-opener to find that a foreigner actually likes it.
Strange, but in way nice, too.

I'll refrain from commenting on the technical part of the poem. Not being a poet, I feel I wouldn't do you much justice.



Offline Bryn

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Re: A little review for Lin please
« Reply #3 on: August 16, 2006, 09:39:54 AM »
Hi Lin, great poem. I read it aloud twice, it has a very 'readable tone', don't know if that's a real phrase but it is now. There's a great sense of place and belonging-vs.-not-belonging and yet the slightly off-hand, flippant poetic voice stops them becoming laboured and depressing. It feels like good travel writing; totally involved with the places, but with a twist of humour keeping it all in perspective.

I really enjoyed it.
Cheers, Bryn.

Lin

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Re: A little review for Lin please
« Reply #4 on: August 16, 2006, 09:58:21 AM »
Ah Nelodie,

Sorry to hear you dont like your own country, I think I was saying in the poem that Im not sure whether or not I really like it as well, but on the other hand it has its benefits.   Also Holland does have an Eastern coatline - two things here,  one is that the coastline is East of the English Coastline from where I set out in the first place and secondly what about the Ijsselmeer coast?   

Lin
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« Last Edit: August 16, 2006, 10:01:43 AM by Lin »

Lin

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Re: A little review for Lin please
« Reply #5 on: August 16, 2006, 10:08:19 AM »
Thanks Bryn much appreciated

Lin