Author Topic: Stuck!  (Read 1738 times)

Offline eashort

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Stuck!
« on: May 28, 2011, 10:16:33 PM »
I'm working on a new spec, based off of the NBC sitcom, "Community." Unfortunately, I am stuck. Any and all ideas are completely welcome, but for the most part I am just looking for some opinions on what I have so far. I think I may be over thinking what I have already; that is one of my biggest problems. I have a tendency to over analyze my own work.

Thank you. And I'm sorry about any formatting issues from the transfer (from Final Draft).
~~~

COLD OPEN

FADE IN:

INT. STUDY ROOM - NIGHT

The STUDY GROUP is sitting at their usual table in the library. JEFF and BRITTA are nodding off over their books, as everybody else is busy studying.

TROY suddenly sneezes, causing Britta and Jeff to wake up.

(startled)
Huh?... What?... I wasn't sleeping....

Jeff straightens up in his seat and stretches. He has a piece of loose-leaf paper stuck to his forehead.

ANNIE looks up from her book.

ANNIE
(to Jeff)
Jeff, were you nodding off again?
(to the group)
Come on guys, this is our last chance to study for exams before the three day weekend.

JEFF
(still drowsy)
I wasn't sleeping.... I was just trying to... absorb knowledge?

Jeff removes the piece of paper from his forehead and examines it for a moment.

ABED looks at Jeff and then to Annie.

ABED
He and Britta were both sleeping.

Britta straightens up in her seat.

BRITTA
(offended)
I was not sleeping!

Jeff points down to Britta's book.

JEFF
(to Britta)
Tell that to the puddle of drool on President Nixon.

Britta looks down at her book and then wipes the side of her mouth with her sleeve.

JEFF (CONT'D)
(to Annie)
We've all been studying non-stop for four hours. Don't you think it's time for a break?

ANNIE
(angry; irritated)
No! We won't get another chance to study, as a group, before exams! We can sleep when we're done.

SHIRLEY interjects.

SHIRLEY
(sweetly)
I don't know, Annie. I think Jeff has a point. We could all use a little break.

ANNIE
(whiny)
But guys, this is our...

JEFF
(interrupting)
Annie, let me ask you a question.... Have you ever failed a test before?

ANNIE
No...

JEFF
So, what makes you think that a measly, 15-minute study break will ruin that astounding winning streak?

ANNIE
Fine... 15 minutes... but then we start studying again.

JEFF
Great! I call the sofa.

Jeff stands up and makes his way to the sofa. He jumps over the back of it and lays down.

JEFF (CONT'D)
Somebody get the lights.

ANNIE
Wait why are we getting the lights? It's just a short break!

Nobody answers her.

ABED
I'm on it.

Abed gets up and turns off the lights.

ANNIE
Abed!

Without answering her, Abed stares at Annie for a second and then sits down, laying his head on the table.

As everybody around her relaxes, Annie takes out a book light and tries to study some more. Shirley reaches over and pulls the book light
out of Annie's book. Annie grunts and crosses her arms.

FADE OUT.

END OF COLD OPEN

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

INT. STUDY ROOM - MORNING

The members of the study group are asleep in various awkward positions around the study room.
PIERCE, snoozing in his usual chair, begins to scream in his sleep.

PIERCE
...Nazi bananas!...

At this noise, the group slowly starts to wake up.

TROY
(groggy)
What time is it?

Abed looks down at his watch.

ABED
9 am.

TROY
Dang... I gotta go....

Troy grabs his books and hurries out of the study room.

SHIRLEY
Oh, no. Andre must be worried sick.

Shirley quickly starts to gather all of her things.

BRITTA
(to Shirley)
I thought Andre took the kids to his parents for the weekend, so you could study for finals....

SHIRLEY
Yes, he did, Britta... but I didn't call last night to check in with him.

ANNIE
Well, why don't you check to see if he called your cell phone?

Shirley takes her cell phone out of her purse and fiddles with it.

SHIRLEY
Ooh, I have a three new messages.

Shirley messes with her phone some more.

SHIRLEY (CONT'D)
(frustrated)
I don't have any service.

Britta picks up her phone from the table.

BRITTA
That's weird. I don't have any service either.

ANNIE
Me either...

ABED
Me either.

All four of them look at Pierce.

PIERCE
I didn't bring my phone with me, yesterday.

Jeff wakes up and stares at the others from across the back of the sofa.

JEFF
Study break over?

ANNIE
No... we all over slept.

JEFF
Really? What time is it?

Abed looks down at his watch again.

ABED
9:07

JEFF
Cool. So, I guess we're done studying then...

Jeff stands up, books in hand, and heads for the door.
Troy breezes past him, back into the study room.

TROY
So... we're locked in....

BRITTA
What do you mean we're locked in?

TROY
I mean we're locked in...

SHIRLEY
(upset)
I can't be locked in here. I have to get home and call my husband and my babies.

ANNIE
Troy, are you sure you checked every door?

TROY
Yeah, I checked all of them.... We're stuck.

Jeff puts his books down on the table.

JEFF
Okay, everybody let's calm down.
(to Annie)
Annie, today's a teacher's workday right?

ANNIE
Yeah...

JEFF
So, that means there is staff on campus, right? All we have to do is go to one of the doors and get somebody's attention.

INT. HALLWAY/LIBRARY  - CONTINUOUS

The group is walking down the hallway, headed toward an exit. Troy and Pierce are straggling behind.

PIERCE
I don't even see why they call it a "teacher's workday."

TROY
I know.... Isn't that what they are doing every other day?

A loud THUMPING noise can be heard coming from outside.

BRITTA
What is that?

They all stop in their tracks and look out the window.

CUT TO:

EXT. QUAD - CONTINUOUS

DEAN PELTON, dressed in BEACH ATTIRE, is standing at the entrance of a charter bus, directing a long line of, similarly dressed, faculty and staff onto it.

DEAN PELTON
Come on, everybody.... It's a long ride to Bear Creek Lake.

BACK TO:

INT. HALLWAY/LIBRARY - SAME

Everybody is pounding on the window, screaming for somebody outside to notice them. Abed pulls back from the window.

ABED
It's no use. They can't hear us.

The rest of the group moves back from the window.

ANNIE
So, what do we do now?

JEFF
I don't know.... I guess we look for a way out.

TROY
I don't know about you guys, but I'm getting pretty hungry.

BRITTA
Yeah, me too.

ABED
Okay, why don't we split up? Jeff, you, Annie and Pierce go look for food. Britta, Troy, and I will go look for a way out.... Shirley, go wait by the main entrance, just in case somebody shows up.... We'll meet back in the study room in an hour.

JEFF
Who put Abed in charge?

The rest of group react to Jeff's question with a mixture of groans and eye rolling.

JEFF (CONT'D)
What?

SHIRLEY
(sweetly)
Jeffery, I don't think this is the time to question somebody else's good ideas.

ABED
I'm pretty sure I've seen more "Man vs. Wild" and survival movies than anybody here. So, unless one of you has a better idea...

Everybody looks at Jeff, he doesn't say anything.

ABED (CONT'D)
Okay... Let's meet back in the study room in an hour.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

INT. HALLWAY/LIBRARY - DAY

Jeff, Annie, and Pierce are searching around the reference desk for food. Jeff and Annie are busy venturing through the drawers for food, as Pierce wanders off.

Jeff watches Pierce walk away, and then pulls Annie to the side.

JEFF
Am I really that bad?

ANNIE
(distracted and slightly aggravated)
Jeff, not now. We're supposed to be looking for food, for the group.

JEFF
Enough about the group. Let them find their own food.... We're talking about me.

Annie stops rummaging through the drawers and stares at Jeff.

JEFF (CONT'D)
(embarrassed)
...So, we'll talk about it later, then?...

Offline 510bhan

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Re: Stuck!
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2011, 01:01:17 PM »
Hi - I'm from the UK [nothing to do with scriptwriting and unfamiliar with the show you have mentioned] Anyway . . .

There seems to be good lines for humour between these 'crammers' - their actions seem plausible, the stress/pressure is conveyed, love Jeff trying to absorb knowledge. Your characters appear to have dinstinctive, individual voices.

Ooh - dear . . . what's going to happen with these folk stuck without food or phones?

It interested me. :) :) :)

Offline TheDestroyer

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Re: Stuck!
« Reply #2 on: June 11, 2011, 12:53:55 AM »
Loved every line :)

Offline Smackbob

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Re: Stuck!
« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2011, 07:13:00 PM »
Great stuff so far. The way I see the episode going from here would be to have Jeff and Annie have a fight, as they normally do on the show, and then have Jeff "go missing". Abed, the now defacto leader of the group could set up a search party, while the rest of the group reverts to something similar to a "Lord of the Flies" style scene. At the end we will have figured out that Jeff, wanting to eat some "real" food, just broke a window in the teachers lounge and climbed out. Maybe, when the group meets up with Jeff later on he could be holding a McDonalds or Burger King bag...

When asked why he didn't contact them to let them know how to get out or to know that he was okay, you could use the no reception line to bring the show full circle?

Just a thought.

Rob
« Last Edit: June 15, 2011, 07:15:03 PM by Smackbob »