Author Topic: May Baked the Best Sweet Apple Tarts  (Read 2478 times)

Offline 510bhan

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May Baked the Best Sweet Apple Tarts
« on: May 26, 2011, 02:06:14 AM »
May Baked the Best Sweet Apple Tarts

Tart, sugar-tamed Bramleys’, snuggled
beneath a crisp, sun-kissed, pastry crust,
steamed fragrant wafts from the scullery
to sniffs and swallows and smacks of lips,
licked and wiped on the backs of sleeves
while impatient bellies rumbled.

She smiled, blessed our Sunday sighs and
stooped over the warm apple pie,
floury fingers sliced fat wedges
on to bone china plates, and served
with cold, whipped cream to be devoured
by the fireside in the front room.

Cut glass vases filled with poppies,
flickered red the flames’ reflection,
peonies with papery petals,
disobedient against stems
of misty white baby’s breath
and catkins of pussywillow,
wilted with a fanciful droop.

We’d wriggle on cushioned chairs
protected with antimacassars
and tease our fingers through
flokati rugs and chenille tassels
to ruffle out the crumbs
that missed the napkins on our laps,
drink cups of sweet, weak tea
and savour the baker’s best
with small-toothed smiles and empty plates.

Offline Albatross

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Re: May Baked the Best Sweet Apple Tarts
« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2011, 07:10:37 AM »
Very nice use of words and images.

Keep it up.

Albatross
x
 

Offline SparkyDashforth

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Re: May Baked the Best Sweet Apple Tarts
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2011, 04:35:15 PM »
First visit to the Gallery Sio
and I find this incredibly rich poem. Awesome.

Brilliant writing!  Did this ever appear in the other forums?

Sparky

Offline 510bhan

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Re: May Baked the Best Sweet Apple Tarts
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2011, 04:37:50 PM »
No! Glad you liked it ;D [My Auntie May really did bake the best apple tarts . . . really - no contest!]

Offline SparkyDashforth

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Re: May Baked the Best Sweet Apple Tarts
« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2011, 04:43:18 PM »
You can write!
I love food poems anyway, but the writing here is particularly delicious.
You made me smell and taste the poem.
Why not post it then.  It needs a bigger audience.
Actually, it needs publishing.


sparky


Offline 510bhan

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Re: May Baked the Best Sweet Apple Tarts
« Reply #5 on: May 27, 2011, 04:51:34 PM »
It'll get slated by the minimalists - overwritten, overly sentimental. :D

Offline SparkyDashforth

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Re: May Baked the Best Sweet Apple Tarts
« Reply #6 on: May 27, 2011, 05:01:29 PM »

"Bramleys’, snuggled
beneath a crisp, sun-kissed"                                      'snuggled' and 'sun-kissed' are an inspired coupling

"She smiled, blessed our Sunday sighs"                         More sibilant S sounds in 'Sunday sighs'

"sniffs and swallows and smacks of lips,"                      Gorgeous alliteration

"poppies, flickered red the flames’ reflection, "              Makes me see the flickering fire of the poppy and the teeth on lips 'fl'


"We’d wriggle on cushioned chairs                             love 'antimacassars', 'chenelle', 'tassels', ruffles' word-painting
protected with antimacassars
and tease our fingers through
flokati rugs and chenille tassels
to ruffle out the crumbs"


Gets better each time I read it.


sparky

Offline SparkyDashforth

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Re: May Baked the Best Sweet Apple Tarts
« Reply #7 on: May 27, 2011, 05:04:46 PM »
Good writing is good writing Sio
style and mode are unimportant compared to the quality of the writing.
It is not sentimental, its just excellent poeming.

Okay enough gushing
I shall have to be mean to you soon to redress the balance. :D

sparky

Offline 510bhan

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Re: May Baked the Best Sweet Apple Tarts
« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2011, 05:07:43 PM »
Oh - I'm sure I shall present you with many opportunities to be justifiably mean. ;D ;D ;D