Author Topic: Have A Giggle  (Read 34220 times)

Offline BBBlogger

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Re: Have A Giggle
« Reply #120 on: June 08, 2011, 12:42:38 PM »

Offline trev

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Re: Have A Giggle
« Reply #121 on: June 08, 2011, 12:50:21 PM »
reminiscent of IT a PUPPET.  ???
I gained Experience from not reading the small print.

Offline trev

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Re: Have A Giggle
« Reply #122 on: June 08, 2011, 12:53:58 PM »

Sorry B, language/culture variations I think.

I gained Experience from not reading the small print.

Offline Gyppo

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Re: Have A Giggle
« Reply #123 on: June 08, 2011, 03:01:42 PM »
if you like cats this 'party animal' will amuse you.  If not then you probably shouldn't bother clicking the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x47vAoY8Gs4

Gyppo
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

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Offline Gyppo

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Re: Have A Giggle
« Reply #124 on: June 08, 2011, 03:09:19 PM »
Even better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1P7pFuuKrs&NR=1

Note the tail in the air 'Arseholes to you' walk right at the end.
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

In the meantime, why not take pity on a starving author and visit my book sales page at http://stores.lulu.com/gyppo1

Offline BBBlogger

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Re: Have A Giggle
« Reply #125 on: June 08, 2011, 03:10:09 PM »
hahahahaha!! That cat knows how to party!! :D

Offline BBBlogger

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Re: Have A Giggle
« Reply #126 on: June 08, 2011, 03:11:38 PM »
oh!!!!!!! the 2nd one is hilarious!

Offline BBBlogger

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Re: Have A Giggle
« Reply #127 on: June 08, 2011, 06:03:23 PM »
There was this zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on a bit so the zoo keeper decided as a treat that she could spend her final years in bliss on a farm. The zebra was so excited, she got out of the horse float to see this huge space with green grass and hill and trees and all these strange animals. She saw a big fat weird looking brown thing and ran up to it all excited:
“Hi! I’m a zebra, what are you?”

“I’m a cow” said the cow.
“Right, and what do you do?” asked the zebra.
“I make milk for the farmer” said the cow.
“Cool.”

The zebra then saw this funny looking little white thing and ran over to it.
“Hi, I’m a zebra, what are you?”
“I’m a chicken,” said the chicken.
“Oh, right, what do you do?” asked the zebra.
“I make eggs for the farmer.” said the chicken.
“Right – o, great, see ya round.”

Then the zebra saw this very handsome beast that looked almost exactly like her without the stripes. She ran over to it and said:
“Hi, I’m a zebra, what are you?”

“I am a Stallion,” said the stallion.
“Wow,” said the zebra. “What do you do?”
“Take off your pajamas darling, and I’ll show you.”


Offline 510bhan

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Re: Have A Giggle
« Reply #128 on: June 08, 2011, 06:05:35 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D

Offline BBBlogger

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Re: Have A Giggle
« Reply #129 on: June 08, 2011, 09:11:21 PM »
During an IRS audit, the auditor looked at the tax payer and exclaimed...

... "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, and urinates all over the desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it.


Offline BBBlogger

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Re: Have A Giggle
« Reply #130 on: June 10, 2011, 11:35:48 AM »
Shopping

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel
like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…
“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to
take so I told her we’d just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all
dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel
like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?”

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.


Offline 510bhan

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Re: Have A Giggle
« Reply #131 on: June 10, 2011, 03:16:58 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D

Offline WordBird

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Re: Have A Giggle
« Reply #132 on: June 10, 2011, 03:18:56 PM »
 :)


Offline WordBird

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Re: Have A Giggle
« Reply #133 on: June 10, 2011, 03:19:41 PM »
Or this:

Offline 510bhan

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Re: Have A Giggle
« Reply #134 on: June 10, 2011, 03:20:27 PM »
Are you cross WB? :-\