Author Topic: I have a hand gesture question. ???  (Read 3811 times)

Silt

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Re: I have a hand gesture question. ???
« Reply #15 on: April 28, 2011, 08:48:48 AM »
'a few' is a variable amount. You have to look and see what is important, what the main theme is. Is it the number, the sound, what is their significance to the scene/story. Often writing is hard because choices are many but only one fits well.

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: I have a hand gesture question. ???
« Reply #16 on: April 28, 2011, 08:53:39 AM »
I was trying for the visual of Koop handing off the small amount of husks/ chaff to Matt because its a clue.

I was trying for a slithering hand motion to dislodge several light weight flakes.

Offline 510bhan

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Re: I have a hand gesture question. ???
« Reply #17 on: April 28, 2011, 08:55:54 AM »
drizzled - almost has a sound to it too and could be quite sneaky.

Silt

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Re: I have a hand gesture question. ???
« Reply #18 on: April 28, 2011, 08:56:51 AM »
Well if a husk is a clue, why not just one pinched between two fingers, held up to both their eye levels to inspect closely. To pour something so light and delicate, even without a wind is often hard. Static/moisture in the hand/breath even can destroy that chance. You know what you want, think about what is more important, the clue(one husk is as good as twenty), or the movement of it pouring. That's why I always ask for words around the scene.

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: I have a hand gesture question. ???
« Reply #19 on: April 28, 2011, 09:03:49 AM »
Okay, I'm still pondering but I see what you mean about presenting the husks in his finger tips. That's a possible change to the movements I have.

Skip

Offline C.M.

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Re: I have a hand gesture question. ???
« Reply #20 on: April 28, 2011, 09:12:12 AM »
Whisked - using the fingers like a small hand broom.   C.M.

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: I have a hand gesture question. ???
« Reply #21 on: April 28, 2011, 09:18:48 AM »
Maybe yes.

'Koop whisked something from his hand and placed it into Matt's hand.'

Skip

Silt

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Re: I have a hand gesture question. ???
« Reply #22 on: April 28, 2011, 09:34:24 AM »
I whisk something away normally, showing a removal.

I wanted to remind you that there are other senses to use, which can connect to a fact seen/noticed prior or even in the future of the story.

Matt shows Koop the husks, Koop notices a strangely familiar scent, tastes, nods, lets Matt taste...then...'remember that guy back in so in so, he wore a cologne/had that same stench'(possibly transferred by a palm) or if towards the future, that other sense be it smell/taste/stain, can be seen on an article of clothing worn by another, or perhaps even just stray husks caught in his hair.

The idea is if you are going to use something like this, ie, stop the story to mention a husk, then you have to make it worth that stop in flow. The more you connect it to the story, the more it belongs.


Anyway I'm way into rambling mode now, so will stop.

I'm sure you'll figure this out.

Silt

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: I have a hand gesture question. ???
« Reply #23 on: April 28, 2011, 09:36:56 AM »
 ;D

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: I have a hand gesture question. ???
« Reply #24 on: April 28, 2011, 10:29:34 AM »
Skip, I may be way off base here, but the way you described it in your question I envisioned Koop's fingers curled inward as he held it out to Matt. When Matt held his hand out (pretty much a natural reaction when you trust the other person and it's clear they want to give/show you something). Koop loosening his fingers enough to allow the content to sift into Matt's open palm.

Being something as light as you describe, I dare say some of the husks/chaff would cling to Koop's hand and he might well dust his hands together to dislodge them.

Sometime simpler is better. It doesn't always have to be perfect, just enough to get the idea across and let the reader fill the rest in with their own imagination.   
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Silt

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Re: I have a hand gesture question. ???
« Reply #25 on: April 28, 2011, 10:55:19 AM »
Hey Skip.

The reason I asked for a small section around that scene to be posted in here is because I've decided to take a break from critiquing. I realised you posted a new piece in the forum, so wanted to explain why I haven't replied in there. :) If you were to post that scene here, I would be happy to look at it. You probably have it pictured perfectly, often we doubt our own words, so don't concern yourself too much or it will become a block in the road.

Silt

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: I have a hand gesture question. ???
« Reply #26 on: April 28, 2011, 11:15:55 AM »
Hey Miss Alice, yes I see what you mean. Keep it simple.

Sir Silt, this is our loss. I know I get quite a bit from your comments, even if you pull back from 'SPaG' into 'Reader's-Eyes'.

Skip

Offline Heinrich

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Re: I have a hand gesture question. ???
« Reply #27 on: April 28, 2011, 02:15:59 PM »
I might have the cat dangling by it's tail, but could pinching the husks be helpful or trickling them?

Offline Suemcb

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Re: I have a hand gesture question. ???
« Reply #28 on: April 28, 2011, 05:45:38 PM »
Floated, drifted, sifted,

Reading what you have posted here I tended to see it as being something really light, not something that would actually just drop.
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Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: I have a hand gesture question. ???
« Reply #29 on: April 28, 2011, 06:22:43 PM »
Exactly, husks / chaff is the thin shell casing of the barley or wheat. Once the grain is cracked free, its like the popcorn chaff that gets stuck in your gums. (the slightest breeze will carry it away before it can drop a few inches.

And, unless your hand is bone dry, the chaff will stick to your skin. Thus the need for the 'brushing' of the fingers to dislodge it/them.

With all the words everyone has used I think I have a cross of ideas on what to say. Thanks guys.

Skip