Some stronger language
Thought it time I put another script scene up in the firing line. No I love you all, really.
This is the opening scene (3 plus minutes) of a twelve minute short - some 630 words. Again there will be format errors a plenty
SYDNEY HEADS
FADE IN:
EXT. UK MAINLINE STATION CONCOURSE – MORNING
Surging office-bound commuters stream across the concourse. ANNIE, a clerical office worker in her early twenties, is in the throng stepping out smartly across the concourse.
EXT. A GARDEN SQUARE – AT THE SAME TIME
Mown grass, flowerbeds, shrubs, trees and seats around the gardens; the square is bordered with office buildings several stories high.
HAMID, an elderly Asian ex-seafarer, grey haired and bearded, is sitting on his regular bench, tying sail cord into elaborate nautical knots.
A WOMAN and TWO SMALL CHILDREN, (boy and girl) in school uniforms, are walking across the garden square.
The older child (boy) goes towards Hamid who holds up a knot puppet.
The woman runs over to the child, grabs his arm and hurries both children away.
The boy looks back at Hamid.
EXT. OUTSIDE MAINLINE STATION - CONTINUOUS
Annie catches up a work colleague, BABS, in her thirties, and taps her on the shoulder.
ANNIE
Good night out?
Babs is sleepy eyed, not yet in touch with the day.
BABS
Don’t ask.
ANNIE
Late, were we?
BABS
I’m knackered. Didn’t get in until one. It’d better be a quiet day.
ANNIE
What did your old man say?
BABS
Fast asleep and stinking of beer, the dozy git.
Annie and Babs don’t wait for the pedestrian lights to change, cross over the street having to run, Babs lags behind, a taxi HOOTS its horn.
BABS
Piss off.
ANNIE
Black coffee for you this morning.
BABS
Bacardi Breezer, more like.
They hurry on down the street
EXT. NEXT STREET AND SANDWICH BAR – CONTINUOUS
Crowds passing, Babs and Annie are approaching and go into the Sandwich Bar clutching their purses.
EXT/INT. STREET INTO A SANDWICH BAR – CONTINUOUS
Annie and Babs are seen through plate glass, menu slogans are white painted on the window; the women stand in the queue, talking (not heard), impatient, looking at their watches.
EXT. STREET OUTSIDE THE SANDWICH BAR – CONTINUOUS
They come out with food in paper bags and takeaway drink beakers, hurrying off down the street.
EXT. GARDEN SQUARE – CONTINUOUS
Hamid, who wears medal ribbons on his tunic, continues to work sail cord into knots.
He has a leather drawstring bag hanging from one wrist to hold his money from the sale of knots.
Hamid proffers a knot to a passer-by who goes by ignoring him.
Annie and Babs enter the square and cut across the gardens.
Hamid sees them approaching, he stands up.
BABS
Oh, God, he’s going to say something. He’s creepy.
ANNIE
He’s cool.
Babs veers away as they near his bench
ANNIE
Where bound today, Skipper?
Hamid gives her an exaggerated salute.
HAMID
Today, Missie, we’re inward bound passing Sydney Heads. Ship alongside at noon, Missie.
ANNIE
See you there, Skipper.
The women hurry on, a flock of pigeons erupts from the grass into the air to wheel round the square and away over the buildings.
Annie looks up and watches the pigeons fly.
Hamid bows, goes back to his bench and his knots.
BABS
Why do you encourage him? He’s weird.
ANNIE
He’s cool, he’s been all over the world, and he always says he’s coming into harbour, passing Sydney Heads. He’s cheery even when it rains.
BABS
Where, this side of Friday is Sydney Heads?
ANNIE
Sydney Harbour? You know – Opera House, the Harbour Bridge and all that.
BABS
It’s friggin’ miles away and nothing but soap operas when you get there.
ANNIE
I’m going to Australia one day. I want to do something, not just sit at a desk all bloody day.
INT. AN OFFICE FOYER – CONTINUOUS
Annie and Babs enter the office building overlooking the square, showing their ID cards to security and cross to the lift, their HEELS loud on the stone floor.
Hope you read it, Chip
