Author Topic: continuation of The Occasional Mistress  (Read 2531 times)

Offline Andre Farant

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    • Andre Farant
Re: continuation of The Occasional Mistress
« Reply #15 on: March 12, 2011, 09:44:55 AM »
Hi Sio,

Yes, I like the changes. I think it's clearer now that Louise is looking back after she has entered the car and the vehicles are on the move, looking from within the car. Before, I just couldn't get away from the image that Louise hadn't yet joined the party.

Great work. As with tyhe first section, I'm amazed at the improvement from one draft to the next!