My Pitch Please Read And Reply

[510bhan]

Hi I'm not a professional but the way I read it Here is my pitch. Mainly what i will be saying. [sic] I took it to mean this was the idea, not the finished article and that the author wants tips on how to improve it. The points made in other posts are valid..it needs to be shorter, sharper and grammatically correct. I presume you felt that you were giving a summary/synopsis so that those offering advice would have at least half a notion of the content so that they could offer pointers to you.

Try writing it to a word limit, say 200 words and see what is absolutely essential. Find a way of condensing ideas to express them.

[John Yamrus]

you're probably wrong.  a pitch is part of an introductory letter or correspondence to an agent or publisher.  the "pitch" is a brief description of the property.  in it, you want to make the book or idea or whatever sound as interesting as possible, so as to pique  their interest in the project.  i said it before and i'll say it again, in my days as an editor and publisher this pitch wouldn't cut it, and i'd not waste any more of my time by reading the manuscript.  i know my thoughts may sound harsh, but if someone is really interested in getting good at this, the only way to do it is to hear the truth and to learn from it.
john yamrus

[Patron]

Ok.... John

I absolutely will not bat with you, and take away from this persons post. You need to re-read my post, and I'm sorry but you are absoulutely incorrect in.....HOW.....you responded..... . Point given. I will not continue to let this persons post be robbed of it¡s meaning and my next post will be about offering this person pitch advice as I've learned; and that is all this should be about.


Sincerely;

Patron

[Patron]

Chriscrider

I' don't have the opportunity in this moment to help, and maybe others, (with experience) would be will ing to help, but tomorrow I will take the time to offer my best advice and you can compare it to others and learn how to properly pitch.

Sincerely;


Patron

[Chriscrider]

No that is not what i wanted i just sat and typed did not focus on punctuation or anything. Just did it to do it for enjoyment if you would like i will type up a formal one and post it.

[irallan]

You have posted something here for others to comment on seriously. They have given up good time to do this. Then you say it was just for enjoyment and you may do a formal one and then post it. Mate that just to me does not cut it. You have also 30 posts yet have not done one review for anyone else. That's a little lame......

[Chriscrider]

I find it very hard to sit and read posts that do not interest me. I find it hard to find books that interest me. It is not that I do not try to review others work on here. It is that half of the stuff on here is too much like movies that have already been made. I could sit down with Star Trek in mind and write a completely new t.v. show. I find it hard to believe that people actually believe that their movie or script will hit it big. I do not do this for the hope that my script will take off. I do this for the hobby of writing. If that is a problem to you then you need not be here. The fact that all of the stuff on here is written with the intent of making money off of the idea is crazy. I decided a long time ago that I would pitch my idea but after reading some of the posts from people here on this board I decided that I would not. I decided I did not want to because half the people on this site is trying to sell their script. More power to them. People like the person above this post who think their time is so valuable is crazy. Of your time is so valuable then where is your books why have I not seen them. I simply do not have the time between college and work to review other peoples work. Personally I believe that if your time is so valuable then do not read my posts, do not critique my work I could care less. If you want to be like that its no wonder you have not had a book or movie published. You spend all your time on here making a fool of yourself that you have 3 pages of a book typed that was supposed to be typed months ago.


Sincerely,
 

              Chris Crider

[510bhan]

Good luck to you - you've just about alienated anybody that might want to have helped you.

Script writing as a hobby...for amateur film/TV programme makers? When will you ever see your work on a screen? It's not like it can just be a read-through in the way a play-script could be done or a novel or poem that could be shared.

[fire-fly]

Chriscrider,

If you do not wish your work to be reviewed, that is fine and of course your choice. 

In future, if you wish to post your work for the enjoyment of the other members of this forum, please post in the Gallery section of the Coffee Shop.

http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?board=15.0

All Review areas on My Writers Circle are give and take. If you wish to be reviewed in the future, the members would take kindly to hearing your honest opinion on their works as well.

We all have dreams and ambitions, we have to start somewhere and if there is the slightist glimpse of hope for anyone to achieve those dreams and ambitions, MWC is certainly a great starting point.

Fire-fly

Moderator.

[irallan]

Obviously you cant read too well buddy..I did not say my time was too valuable.

I'd have a battle of wits with you but from your posts I see you are unarmed so will leave you alone..So sad .

PS ..what makes you think your scripts and pitch is any better or different to the others.You have brought nothing new to the table and I sense are quite petulant and childish.

I actually have far more than three pages typed...I showed my piece got feedback and have moved on. I dont need to keep putting up anymore for review..Also not all of us have the goal of being published..Who's time limit am I on You idiot...

You can feel comfortable with your little speech my friend but I know who is looking the bigger fool here..

Your immaturity is showing ...Normally I couldn't be bothered with the likes of you..but today you have found me in the mood..

[fire-fly]

Ok, time to play nicely in the sandbox boys. No more or the naughty boys corner for you both.

[HPvD]

The word 'Pitch' may have several other different meanings because as far as I understand for example in the Advertising Business it has to do with the taking over an other agency....,

As far as I understand in this context a 'Pitch'
is an attempt to basically - Sell - a Story Idea.

Anyway,

One of the first things I think about when hearing the word 'Pitch' is the word 'Elevator Pitch' that I visually imagine to be as somebody pulling a sleeve, wanting to convince (for example a Movie Producer) - during going up or down in an Elevator - to use your Business Idea or Script to make it into a Movie.  For such a Hollywood-like 'Producer Pitch' you need to Instantly Sell your Story Idea to somebody that hardly has any time for you to listen to you. Or to tell it in 'Hollywood-like lingo', it needs to be 'High Concept'.

As far as I understand than it needs to be extremely, visual, convincing, short and
to the point, not an easy task.

All the Best,
To your Happy - Writing - Inspiration,
HP




 

[JenniBennett]

Well, er wow! (This was one helluva thread for me to read first) 

Writers here who started 30 years ago were really rather lucky! They didn't get the chance to post their new baby on the interweb for criticism from strangers - just the cheerful flicker of that rejection slip on the bedsit's doorway!

Any creative noticeboard is rather like a dog show, where the breeders walk about, being lovely to the competition while secretly envying the sheen on that Labrador's coat.

When it comes right down to it, there are only two opinions that matter about an MS - that's the opinion of the author, and the person who wants to take it on. Every time the author gets a knockback, they need to re-evaluate their opinion ('is it still worth it? Am I flogging a dead horse?') before carrying on, or not.

Carry on ChrisChrider! You've already done one of the hardest parts of any writing project - you finished it! The more work you finish the easier it'll get, and one day if your skin is thick enough you might knock out your masterpiece ...if it doesn't happen, consider plumbing, it's a solid trade.

Having said that - that wasn't a pitch, it was a synopsis. A pitch is 'selling' your idea, not just running us through the story, but that's just splitting hairs. I agree with lots of the comments here, and disagree with quite a few too - but keep at it. Sit on the film project for a bit and go back to it in a few months, good luck again!

I doubt there are many writers here that would like their first youthful scribblings plastered all over the place, hmm?

JB

(I hope my first post was OK?  )

[Butterfly21]

This is all just my opinion- take it as you like 

When i think of a pitch i think of a tv commercial - they have 30seconds of your time to sell you their product (more often than not it works)

Think of your story and imagine that a person who could potentially turn your idea into something gave you 30 seconds of their time - in those 30 seconds what would you need to say to make them want to look at something written?

Think: Beginning/Middle/End  - Bam! That's your pitch

in that 30 seconds though you'd have to identify MC/goal/conflict and the basic theme of the story and say it in order from beginning-middle-end with the most important plot points

As for all the comments on this thread
i think you need to consider some things people have said
saying that you couldn't care less if someone read your work or not is weird to me - why post then?
and saying that you're not trying to sell your script - what are you trying to do then? that's what a pitch is for - to sell!!!
I write for enjoyment too - writing is enjoyable
and as for the format of this piece and the obvious flaws - i write like this too but it's just notes and i would never ever dream of posting it because my notes are in such a crappy format

I just think you need to take into consideration that people did take the time to read and comment - whether it was nicely done or not
this site is all about developing as a writer (IMO)
I had to force myself to read this piece after the first sentence but I'm grateful for all the feedback and replies I get and like to return the favor
People on this site at the end of the day are part of your audience (especially when you post expecting feedback) and their opinion counts

I think in future it'd be wise to specify what you're looking for when it comes to feedback
If you just want to know how the story sounds - if people find it interesting or not- then say so
people will be less likely to pick out your grammatical errors and poor presentation (although before i post i check to make sure I've presented it neatly and just check basic grammar) It's just courtesy i reckon

And remember - if you're not looking for honest feedback and people's opinions -there is a Gallery 

[Tony_A20]

Although I am only a little reluctant to step into the middle of this scrap, I think John's quite right in being blunt and telling the truth.

If I was the unlucky recipient of this "pitch," it would be dropping into the trash after the first sentence. If Chriscrider were to send this example of his writing ability into the real world his writing future would be bleak indeed.

Chriscrider simply needs to understand he does not yet have the writing skills necessary to successfully complete this project, and should put it on hold until he has gained more skill in the craft of writing.

Tony