Author Topic: Opening of my stage play  (Read 5440 times)

Offline Top Cat

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Opening of my stage play
« on: July 28, 2006, 09:37:29 PM »
ONE BUS TOWN

CAST:  MELINDA - 21 -  Small town girl
           CODY - 25 - Rough and tumble wander

The stage is set with a check out style counter holding a cash register and stocked with assorted small items for sale.  Gum, candy, cigarette lighters and the like.  A small radio sits on top of the counter.  There is a sign attached to the front of the counter announcing that alcoholic beverages may not be consumed on the premises.  There is also a small table with two chairs.

SETTING:  Small West Texas town.  The convenience store bus stop.  Present day.  Mid afternoon.

(At rise MELINDA stands behind the counter.  She leans on her forearms as she reads a People magazine.  Music can be heard coming from the radio.  CODY sits at the small table sipping from a Coke can.  His worn duffel bag is at his feet.  He nervously checks his watch, stubs out a cigarette in the ashtray and crumbles up an empty cigarette package.)

MELINDA: (turning down the radio)  Want another Coke?

CODY: D'ya think I have time?

MELINDA:  I don't know.  The bus is usually late, but I've never seen it be this late before.

CODY:  Figures.  Only one way outta this town and it ain't even on time.

MELINDA:  I'm sorry.  You got some place special to be?  Somebody waitin' on you?

CODY:  Maybe.  What makes you think I don't?

MELINDA:  Nothin'.  Just makin' conversation is all.

CODY: Wish I could have a beer.

MELINDA:  I know, but the sign says you can't drink it here.  You want that Coke or not?

CODY:  Sure.  Get one for yourself too.  My treat.

MELINDA:  Oh, no.  That's okay.

(Cody walks over to the counter and gives Melinda some money)

CODY:  Look.  It don't look like you're too awful busy.  This ain't exactly a bustlin' metropolis now is it?

MELINDA:  Okay.  Guess it couldn't hurt.

(She puts the money in the cash drawer and gets two Cokes from behind the counter.  She hands Cody one, she keeps one.  They sit at the table.

MELINDA:  Thanks.

CODY:  So.  What's to do in this town?

MELINDA:  Well.   There's a bowlin' alley and a skatin' rink.  They're together.

CODY:  I bet you skate.

MELINDA:  A little.

CODY:  You look like a skater.  Cheerleader too probably.  Right?

MELINDA:  Yeah.  That's me.

CODY:  So... When you're not skatin' what else can you do here?

MELINDA:  We've got a movie theater, but it's bein' remodeled right now.  I really miss it.  I love movies.

CODY:  Hey, me too.

MELINDA:  Where're you from?

CODY:  Houston.  This time.

MELINDA:  Sounds like you travel a lot.

CODY:  All the time I guess.

MELINDA:  What do you do for money?

CODY:  I prefer not to define myself by my job.  I do what ever I can to get by.  Somethin' always comes up.  Don't worry.  I plan to settle down some day, but not yet.

MELINDA:  Where're you goin'?

CODY:  California.  Ever been there?

MELINDA:  No.  The farthest West I've ever been is Marfa.  I went to see the ghost lilghts, but they weren't there that night.  I missed 'em.  What's in California?

 

Offline ChipTee

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Re: Opening of my stage play
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2006, 05:01:23 AM »
You were fast onto this new board, Top Cat.

Good opening - a clear scene is set and your audience want to know what comes next. Will the bus ever come?

Like it.

Chip

Offline Top Cat

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Re: Opening of my stage play
« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2006, 12:39:17 PM »
Glad you like it.  I'll post more of it in a couple of days.  This is a 10 minute play that has been produced in Houston, Texas and is actually published as well.

It's nice that you have questions. 

Do you write stage plays, screenplays or what?  Post something you've written, I'd be glad to read it. 

T.C.

Offline ChipTee

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Re: Opening of my stage play
« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2006, 06:55:24 AM »
Top Cat - I have concentrated on short stories (and predictably a novel) in past years, but more recently have written short screen scripts and a feature, the latter waiting for a second rewrite.
I wrote a stage play for a competition in January/February against the clock for the submission date end Feb    ( www.yeovilprize.co.uk )  in which I was very pleased to be short listed. Again some rewriting is required. The competition will hopefully be run again in 2007 so I'm in the early stages for another effort.

Look forward to seeing more of One Bus Town.

Chip

Offline wileygrrl

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Re: Opening of my stage play
« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2006, 09:16:01 AM »
Top Cat,

I know nothing about writing plays or screenplays though i hope to turn the book i am writing into a screenplay. I enjoyed this. It was well written and i could see the entire scene in my mind.

I look forward to reading more.
Find a career you love and you'll never work a day in your life.

I don't work. I write.
                   Jennifer Elizabeth McDonald

Offline Technofear

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Re: Opening of my stage play
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2006, 10:56:48 AM »
I like the dialogue. It reads fast, and you can imagine actors speaking it in a very throwaway fashion that hints at the significance underneath.

Offline Top Cat

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Re: Opening of my stage play
« Reply #6 on: July 30, 2006, 10:27:00 PM »
Okay.  Here are a couple more pages to One Bus Town

Melinda's last line was "What's in California?"

CODY:  I don't know yet.  I've never been there either.

MELINDA:  What are you goin' to do when you get there?

CODY:  That's just the point.  It's an adventure.  You've never been on an adventure have you?

MELINDA:  Guess not.

CODY:  Guess not?  What kinda answer is that?  Either you have or you haven't.

MELINDA:  I haven't then.  Not yet anyway.

CODY:  Sounds like you gave up on your adventure.  You should get back out to Marfa and try again.

MELINDA:  Maybe I will someday.

CODY:  You sell a lot of bus tickets here?

MELINDA:  I guess.  Why?

CODY:  Ever think of sellin' one to yourself?

MELINDA:  I used to, but not any more.

(Cody notices now that Melinda wears an engagement ring.)

CODY:  Well, pardon me!  I been flirtin' with an almost married woman?  Who's the lucky man?

MELINDA:  His name's Dennis.

CODY:  Lemme guess.  High school sweethearts, right?  You are out of high school aren't you?

MELINDA:  Class of 2001.

CODY:  Cody Trent.  Recent graduate, with honors, of the School of Extremely Hard Knocks, at your service.

(He extends his hand)

MELINDA:  Melinda Harris.

(They shake hands.)

CODY:  So, when's the big day?

MELINDA:  Next month.  The 20th.

CODY:  Well, it sounds like you're about to have that big adventure.

MELINDA:  I suppose.

CODY:  Tell me about Dennis.  What's he like?

Offline eric

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Re: Opening of my stage play
« Reply #7 on: August 06, 2006, 07:40:16 PM »
I like the first part a good deal, reminiscent of Our Town a little bit, but I don't like the second installment too much.  Seems stilted.

e.