Author Topic: TV Show ideas  (Read 4886 times)

Offline Nevets

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TV Show ideas
« on: February 07, 2011, 07:11:02 PM »
Word Count 2,056.

This is one of my ideas for a television program

Island of Wonders and Mystery

Overview:

The series centers around a twenty-nine year old man named Rupert Ladsent. Rupert has led a rather "on-the-go" career as an Anthropologist and a Zoologist. He has been to quite a few corners of the world in search of lost civilizations and of animal species to observe. He is assisted by his intern, Erica Sylvaka, a kind yet often complaining young woman. One day, Rupert's work led him and Erica on a plane ride from Hawaii to Tasmania for his research on the animals there. But their plane had to fly over a large part of the Pacific, which suddenly became foggy. At first this was dismissed as being normal, but then Rupert and Erica heard loud noises that sounded like gun fire. This was confirmed when they felt the plane rumble and the pilot declared that they were going down. Another blast was heard soon after and made it so no one could evacuate. With that, the plane went down and crashed into the water. Rupert and Erica both found themselves settled on the beach of an island.
 
 
They both eventually come to realize that, sadly, they were the only survivors of the plane crash. What's more, according to Rupert's remaining tracking equipment, the island doesn't even exist. They gather what little equipment they can salvage and attempt to create a radio to call for help. But for some reason, their transmissions are blocked by some outside force. Desperate for something they could use, Rupert and Erica go searching through the island's jungle. But what they find is far more than they bargained for. They discover a variety of unusual looking plants and the fauna are even more bizarre. Some look like combinations of 2 or more creatures, others are like nothing ever seen before.
 
 
During their "nature walk" Rupert and Erica come across a wondrous and amazing sight, a massive pyramid-like structure. Its design is similar to that of a Mayan pyramid, yet somewhat different. Being an anthropologist, Rupert felt they should investigate. Erica is reluctant at first, but when the alternative being to stay outside with the "Monstrous Menagerie", she gave in to her boss' request. Upon entering the building, Rupert notices the rather unusual carvings on the wall. They appear to show people using what seem to be technology. Rupert finds this hard to believe, since these carvings appear to be well over a thousand years old. Then, he and Erica are suddenly greeted by one of the strange creatures on the island. An animal that appears to be a mix between a hare, a Praying Mantis and Lynx. It appears to be friendly and it immediately takes to Erica and vice versa. When Rupert starts to look at the carvings more, he accidentally activates what appears to be a hologram. A hologram which displays an elderly man. A man who claims to have been the chief of an ancient, yet somehow, at the same time (judging from such technology) an advanced culture. A culture known as Orgalius, which was apparently wiped out centuries ago. But this knowledge alone wasn't enough for Rupert, so now he has a new goal.
 
 
He and Erica are now on a quest to discover what this ancient culture was and find out what exactly happened to them. At their side is the new creature they found, who Erica has now dubbed Mynxare (a name conglomeration of mantis, lynx and hare). But there is danger just around the corner. For a secret paramilitary group known as W.R.A.I.T.H. (World Revolutionizing Association Internationally Tracing History) is situated on the island and are trying to learn the same thing. They're actually the ones responsible for Rupert and Erica's situation. For their desires have made them far too cautious and they intend on making sure they are the only ones who learn the truth, even if it means taking out all other rivals.

Island of Wonders and Mystery: Sea of Secrets

Overview:
This is the Second Season of IoW&M. Following the defeat of Stryke and Pax, Rupert and Erica are finally able to leave the island (courtesy of an Orgalian vehicle that is both a boat and a Submarine), with Mynxare going with them. But our little gang isn't leaving to head home, they had found another of Hahjor's messages that spoke of them having a small group of Orgalians who broke away from the mainland and became a separate colony. What's more, they took a share of Orgalius' wondrous technology with them and used some to create a massive bubble to surround themselves with and descended into the Pacific itself. Their intention was to become a nomadic culture under the sea, known as Aqualianux.

Since none of his findings on the island mention anything about these undersea nomads, he feels this is worth looking into. What's more, now that they posses a vehicle capable of submersible activity, he intends to go on an expedition underwater to learn more. Once again, Erica and Mynxare are at his side on this adventure. But also once again, Rupert is being stalked by W.R.A.I.T.H. Only this time, it has sent its naval units and they're not interested in knowledge anymore, it's interested in eliminating the two "civilians" who know of their group's existence.

But with old enemies, came new friends. Rupert, Erica and Mynxare don't know too much about it, but they are being followed and protected by a strange and mysterious ally. An undersea dweller named Ergalost.      
 
 
Characters:

Protagonists:
Rupert Ladsent - An African-American anthropologist and zoologist. Rupert has always had an interest in ancient cultures and in animals. So he decided to study them both as a living. He is what one would call "married to his work". The moment he finds something worth study, he blocks out everything else to do so. But he is also very adventurous and loyal, when his friends are in danger, he'll be there. Upon discovering the remains of Orgalius, an ancient and advanced culture on island upon being stranded, Rupert dedicates himself to trying to find out what happened. He hopes to use this knowledge to perhaps better mankind and prevent history from repeating itself. He usually wears Safari attire.

Erica Sylvaka - An Asian-American college intern who was hired by Rupert to be his assistant. Like her boss, Erica has a strong thirst for knowledge of the past, but she's not "married" to it. She is generally a well-mannered and kind, but at times, she tends to complain a great deal during her expeditions with Rupert. She has a strong bond with Mynxare and the two look out for one another.

Mynxare - A native creature of the island who met Rupert and Erica upon their arrival. He appears to be a combination of a Hare (ears, head and lower body), a Lynx (facial features, eyes and upper body) and a Praying Mantis (arms, legs and sounds). He is usually very friendly and docile, but if provoked, he becomes a savage creature, which makes him handy to have around. He and Erica have a strong bond with each other and Mynxare is willing to do anything to protect his new friends.

Hahjor - The late chieftain of Orgalius before it fell and vanished. It is unknown if he had anything to do with Orgalius' end, but his hologram and notes imply that he feels great shame and sorrow over it. Before his great culture disappeared, Hahjor apparently left messages across his island in an attempt to keep his culture's legacy alive. Messages that both Rupert and W.R.A.I.T.H. follow for more answers. He is only seen in holograms and in flashbacks brought up by his books and scrolls.
Island of Wonders and Mystery: Sea of Secrets
Ergalost - A dolphin-like sea dweller, his people are well known as the sentries of the oceans. They had a strong bond with the people of Aqualianux and served as their guardians for years. But over time, for unknown reasons, they went extinct. Save Ergalost of course. Now, upon discovering Rupert and co.'s expedition, he has decided to revive the mission of his people and protect all in their ocean. He does this by using his expert swimming ability and talent to take on W.R.A.I.T.H. and their attempts on Rupert and Co.'s lives. Because he fears their reaction to his appearance, he only helps than from a distance or when they can't see him. But he eventually finds himself in love with Erica.


Antagonists:
W.R.A.I.T.H. - (World Revolutionizing Association Internationally Tracing History) A paramilitary group who arrived on the Island about three years prior to the series and established a base there. W.R.A.I.T.H.'s goal is to locate and discover ancient cultures and use such knowledge to "help better mankind" as they say. Like Rupert, they intend to find out exactly what happened to the ancient culture of Orgalius and the secret behind their technology. But their desire for such knowledge is the same for anything they discover, for means of war. They intend to harness such sophisticated technology into weapons for their group. Though their reasons for doing so remain unknown. Because they feel their work should remain secret until the right moment, they try to make sure that no one else learns of their discovery. As such, this led to drastic and radical acts, such as eliminating any witnesses they find. This led to them sinking nearby ships and shooting down overhead planes. One of said planes was the one that brought Rupert and Erica to their island. With the 2 now stranded, W.R.A.I.T.H. considers them a possible threat to their "great work". This has made them make numerous attempts on Rupert and Erica’s very lives. Though at times, they'll simply let Rupert find the information they want and then attack him. W.R.A.I.T.H. is comprised of heavily armed soldiers and a large staff of scientists and researchers. The soldiers mainly rely on lasers, grenades and hovercycles, but they'll also use tanks for heavy duty jobs, like taking on the massive megafauna of the island. The scientists of the group are the ones who try to translate their findings and use them for W.R.A.I.T.H.'s needs. When they feel it necessary, they'll also use their technology to augment and control the native fauna for their needs. Their organization's insignia is a ghostly hooded figure (the very creature their group is named after) holding a globe.  

Commander Issiac Stryke - The commanding officer of W.R.A.I.T.H. and the one who commissioned their base on the island. He is bent on finding out the secrets of Orgalius' inhabitants, but his reasons are different from Rupert and the rest of W.R.A.I.T.H. Commander Stryke's real reason for this endeavor is because he believes himself to be the descendant of this great culture (though this is not made clear, but it does seem unlikely). So he's out to claim what he believes is rightfully his, this has become somewhat of an obsession for him. So much so, that he's willing to do anything to make it happen, even terminate anyone in his way. It was his knowledge of Anthropology that helped get him his position in W.R.A.I.T.H.
 
Lieutenant Frieda Pax - Commander Stryke's second-in-command and W.R.A.I.T.H.'s chief Enforcer. She's usually out in the field, gathering information about Orgalius and reporting her finds directly to Stryke. She is often seen with a group of W.R.A.I.T.H. soldiers as her aids and when she discovers trespassers (like Rupert and co.) she has been given orders to have her men blast on sight (a fact she enjoys). Due her general dislike of teenagers, Pax is often at odds with Erica.

Island of Wonders and Mystery: Sea of Secrets

Admiral Roxanne Torrpedos - The most decorated leader of the naval units of W.R.A.I.T.H. and considered as the most prettiest and seductive. She is the commander of a vast fleet of warships and submarines, all of them willing to do her dirty work. She is considerably mellower and less obsessive than Stryke. She also appears more conniving and tactical than Stryke, where Stryke would impulsively blast first, Roxanne would wait for the right moment to attack and then do it. Also unlike Stryke, who is greatly feared by his men and staff, Roxanne is admired and swooned over by her subordinates, which she uses to get them to do anything she wants.  
« Last Edit: August 29, 2014, 06:34:15 PM by Alice, a Country Gal »

Offline 510bhan

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Re: TV Show ideas
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2011, 07:48:56 PM »
HI - you seem to have worked out a setting and characters facing an interesting conflict. Sort of Lost meets Stargate on the Island of Doctor Moreau! :D

I don't know where you take something like this further - perhaps some of the knowledgeable people will be along and be able to offer some helpful advice. ;) ;) ;)

Offline Maimi

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Re: TV Show ideas
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2011, 10:31:29 AM »
Hello Nevets,

Please follow the link below and make your way to the Welcome board. Once you introduce yourself, you'll receive helpful information about the forum. One such piece of information addresses Stickies, the items tacked to the top of some boards, like the one on this board. Some stickies contain guidelines that note word limits and what is to be posted on a particular board.

http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=12325.0

Regards,

Maimi
Global Moderator

P.S. I removed your identical post from the Review My Work board, since that board is for prose only.
« Last Edit: February 09, 2011, 07:39:50 AM by Maimi »

Offline Nevets

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Re: TV Show ideas
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2011, 09:23:58 AM »
Word Count 2,192.            

  The Divine Three

Plot: Three elementary school kids (ages 9-12 and one a girl) of a place called Nexus City, USA, accidentally stumble upon a box with three strange items; a belt with a lightning bolt on the buckle, a golden Tiara and a necklace with a raven pendant. The eldest; Zack Salmoneus, puts on the belt and it surprisingly fits him fine. The girl, Ivy Gizza, wears the tiara and the youngest, Neil Gardas, puts on the necklace.

Meanwhile, high above the stars, the planets have begun a strange action, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune's moons have all each reached a perfect alignment. At first one might consider this no big deal. But they'd be wrong to think that, for this strange phenomenon causes three things to happen simultaneously. The ancient Greek witch, Circe, rises from the deepest part of the Underworld, Tartarus. At the same time, the ancient Egyptian serpent, Apep, rises from the Nile River and the Norse goddess of Ice and Vengeance, Skadi suddenly feels active after years of dormancy. These three divine beings all had the same thing on their minds - World domination.

Back in Nexus City, Zack, Ivy and Neil begin to truly understand what these items are. Zack discovers that the belt he wears is the Belt of Olympus, Ivy learns she's wearing the Tiara of Isis and Neil figures out that he's wearing the Pendant of Asgard. They learn all this from an old man, who reveals himself to not to be an old man, but instead, the Oracle of Delphi, the mystical being that was widely believed to be able to foresee into the Future. She was entrusted by three gods from three different cultures to guard three items of divine power and she has done so for over a thousand years, until the children found them. She was originally going to take them from them, but somehow, she felt that this was meant to be.

This power that was aforementioned was that whoever wears any of the items, if used properly, will call forth the power of the gods. More specifically, when Zack, Ivy and Neil say the proper incantations, they are imbued with the power of the gods and transform in demigod-like beings. However, this was actually fortunate, because now that Circe, Apep and Skadi are all free and awake, they eventually bump into each other and they form an alliance of darkness. One with which they intend to conquer Earth (or destroy it depending how they agree on it).

Now Zack, Ivy and Neil must learn from the All-knowing Oracle how to master these powers and protect their world from Evil. This will take them to amazing places of Myth and legend. From Mount Olympus to the Underworld, from the Nile River to Duat, from Asgard to Valhalla and even to the palace of the Jade Emperor and the land of Animal Spirits. All of this, from the shared words "We are Divine!"

Characters:
Protagonists:

Zack Salmoneus - The eldest of the trio (12 yrs. old) and the wearer of the Belt of Olympus. When he wields the belts power, he gains Super Strength, Super Speed, Flight, durability and control over Lightning (like Zeus). To wield these powers, he will say the name of a figure in Greek Mythology (e.g. to use Super Strength he says "By the Strength of Hercules"). He is the de facto leader of the group, but his role is still unofficial. As such, Ivy and Neil often get annoyed when he gets too bossy and overly controlling. But when it really matters, Zack shows the skill of a true leader and is still respected as such. When he invokes the power of his belt, he transforms into a slightly taller, muscular, armored figure with the same emblem that's on the belt, on a chest plate and on the helmet he wears. His voice also becomes deeper and rather booming. To transform, he grabs the belt and exclaims "By Sky, By Earth, By Mount Olympus!" and he is then struck by a lightning bolt, after which, he becomes his demigod form. His last name is based on the Greek myth about the crazy King Salmoneus who thought he was the real Zeus and was smitten by the real Zeus for his gall.

Ivy Gizza - The middle member of the group (10-11 yrs. old) and the wearer of the Tiara of Isis. When she summons the Tiara's power, she gains the power of light (she can create bright flashes of light out of nowhere and even channel them into energy blasts), sand (she can conjure, control and even turn herself into sand) and is given the power of vision and prophecy. Like Zack, she also must include the name of a mythological being or figure when she wields her power (e.g. to use her light power, she says "By the light of Ra"). She is generally a kind, sensitive and cultured young lady, one who both her comrades can rely on, even though she is often at odds with Zack. But because she's always been a good student, and because the Tiara gives her access to a large amount of knowledge, she tends to be a bit of a know-it-all from time to time. When she invokes the Tiara's magic, she transforms into a taller, more developed woman wearing Egyptian royal clothing. Her voice is also more soothing and seductive. To transform, she puts 2 fingers on her tiara and exclaims "By the Desert Sands!" and she is surrounded by a sudden sandstorm and changes. Her name is based on Egypt’s third largest city which is also home to Egypt’s most famous monuments.

Neil Gardas - The youngest of the three "heroes" and the wearer of the Pendant of Asgard. When he calls forth the pendant's power, he becomes able to summon snowstorms, speak to animals and fight with skills he never learned. Naturally, like his friends, he must call the names of figures of his new natural mythology (e.g. to use his ice powers, he says "By the breath of Fenrir"). Neil is young, but he is also rather sensible, as he does better at thinking things through. But at times, he will often act his age, this is when he jumps in without thinking and gets himself and his friends in danger. He is still, however, definitely the glue that holds the group together. He is also the one who both Zack and Ivy go to, when they want to ventilate about the other. When he invokes the pendant's power, he transforms into a taller Viking, nuff said. His voice actually becomes a little raspier, but still booming. To transform, he grabs the pendant, holds it in the air and shouts "For Asgard! For Valhalla, For Odin" and then a snowstorm appears out of nowhere, freezes him in a block of Ice and he breaks out, fully transformed. His name is an anagram of the word; Asgard, home of the Norse gods.

Oracle - The famous Oracle of Delphi, for centuries she has lived in Delphi and offered her visions of the future to all who seek her out. But one day, the Oracle grew restless and decided to leave her temple and travel the world, spreading her visions to all who wish to know their future. But as she did so, she started to see that sometimes it's not always best for mortals to know the future, so she has since become rather introverted and rarely ever speaks what she sees unless the situation truly calls for it. Somewhere along the centuries she's been alive, the three almighty deities of three different cultures; Zeus of Greece, Isis of Egypt and Odin of the Norse, summoned her to take on a mission of divine importance. They requested her to guard their items of godly power from the forces of evil. She attempted to foresee if any will ever find them in the place she seeks to hide them, but for some strange reason, that was something she couldn't see. Regardless, she hid them anyway. Originally, when Zack, Ivy and Neil find them, Oracle intended to retrieve the items, but something in her suggested otherwise. When they eventually proved themselves skilled in their new powers, Oracle decided to do what she can to help in their fight against the evil they face. When she first met Zack, Ivy and Neil, she was under the guise of an old man, the janitor of the school they attend. She went under the alias Morton Delphi which is a direct reference to where she is from.


Antagonists:

Circe - The Ancient Greek enchantress and the show's Main Antagonist. She was best known for delaying Odysseus' journey home by turning his men into pigs. But she's actually much worse than that. Circe is an all powerful witch who summons power and allies from the deepest pits of Tartarus. She used such assets to spread terror and pain to anyone she pleased. Eventually, the gods punished her by placing a bronze necklace around her neck that greatly weakened her magic to merely basic spells. But that wasn't the end of it, for gross misuse of her domain; Hades himself exiled her to the darkest pits of his kingdom. When the moons aligned, the spell that trapped her was broken and she was freed. Her first order of business was to seek out what she once attempted to take, Pandora's Amphora. But her plans were thrown out of place, not only by the interference of Apep and Skadi, but mainly by the interception of the item by Zack, Ivy and Neil. Ever since then, Circe has vowed to destroy the "mortal filth who dared to interfere with the mighty Circe". She has however, decided to form an alliance with Apep and Skadi, who seek the same goal as her, conquest. And what's worse, when the two combined their power, they managed to remove Circe's necklace and restore her to full power.  
   
Speartip - Speartip is Circe's Minotaur manservant and the muscle of her other minions. He is generally a mindless brute, who does anything Circe tells him. But he's also loyal to a fault; this makes him the main obstacle when it comes to attacking Circe directly. He obviously named after the sharp points on his horns  

Apep - The Ancient Egyptian Serpent and 1/3 of the shows main antagonists. Since the beginning, Apep has been locked in eternal battle with the Sun God, Ra, in Apep's attempts to stop Ra from bringing the morning to the world. Apep has continued this pattern for thousands of years and every time Ra bested him. Finally tiring of this cycle of failures, Apep slowly slipped into a deep slumber underneath the Nile River. But when the moons aligned, Apep’s dark energy gained a bit of a spike and he decided to use it, not for petty revenge on Ra, but to seize absolute power. He went after what was called “Pandora’s Amphora” and attempted to harness the power within it. But his plans were not only thwarted by the interference of Circe and Skadi, but also by Zack, Ivy and Neil. After that, Apep formed an alliance with Circe and Skadi, if only accomplish their shared goal, domination and control. While Circe brings to the alliance her dark magic and unearthly resources, Apep brings deviousness and cunning. Apep is the usually the one comes up with the evil trio’s plans and strategies, even though Circe is supposedly the one in charge.
   
Set - Apep's Hyena lackey. When Apep rose from the Nile, he saw a lone hyena. Knowing he would require some assistance, Apep imbued this hyena with dark supernatural powers. Now the hyena, now called Set by his new snake master, is able to talk, though he’s not able to do much else. Also, he mainly just chuckles like an idiot, but when ordered to attack; he is as vicious as an entire pack of hyenas. He is named after the Egyptian god of Chaos and Disorder, Set.

Skadi – The Norse goddess of Ice and Vengeance. Because she is an ice elemental, she is rather cold blooded and sadistic. She has wreaked havoc in the Norse lands with malicious pranks and cruel jokes for centuries until she grew tired and fell into a deep sleep. When the moons aligned, she was reawakened and decided to take her pranks to a new level, a more dangerous level. She went after what was called “Pandora’s Amphora” and attempted to harness the power within it. But her plans were not only thwarted by the interference of Circe and Skadi, but also by Zack, Ivy and Neil. After that, Skadi teamed up with Circe and Apep to get revenge. While Circe brings power and Apep brings cunning, Skadi brings Intel. Because she is a powerful deity of the Ice, she has a number of ice-themed resources at her disposal which she uses to look for things or people who might be of some use to her or he comrades.
   
Blizzard - Skadi's pet Snowy Owl and main spy
« Last Edit: August 29, 2014, 06:43:03 PM by Alice, a Country Gal »

Offline Kiryana

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Re: TV Show ideas
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2011, 12:53:30 AM »
Wall of text crits you for over 9000! Honestly, I clicked the post, saw the post and hit my "back" button. After a second I figured I should at least give you the courtesy of knowing I looked at it and why I didn't read it. There were way to may words simply.  I think you'll find people in this section of the forums seem to like a script layout with short scene descriptions and then moving into the character dialog. Now, I know these are only ideas you're asking "yay or nay" on, I think you might find however people would be more inclined to toil through reading your massive post when they see you have at least read and reviewed a few other posts. Anywho, I'll come back and try reading this after I've had a cup of coffee.

Kir
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Lin

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Re: TV Show ideas
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2011, 03:21:41 AM »
Hi Nevets

This post caught my eye. I hope have not joined us only for the critique on your work and I hope you will stay with us in the future and offer help to others.    This is fine, but to be part of the circle members group, we do like you to post a welcome on the board and read the rules.  I couldn't possibly read all this especially on my iphone which I use outside of the house.   I had to come to the main computer to make this post.  

It is best really to provided a short synopsis on work of this nature - allow your readers to provide you with an overall impression.  From what I read it was good although I am not a script writer which I gather you might be.  

We are a friendly bunch of writers on the circle and as I said I hope to see more of your work, I see you can write but I feel if you are going to send this to TV it will need a synopsis (correct if me I am wrong). You will need to send the basic idea of your story.  I feel TV  will be the same as publishers for a novel.  They won't get time to read all of this, they will want an outline surely? Writing is all about tightening up your story and getting to the point. I felt you may not have been writing long and want to say everything you possibly can to get the story on paper.  This was the impression you gave me.  From what I have read this does need tightening up.  I wish you every success with it.  Please tighten up and then we can provide a more balanced critique.

Back in Nexus City, Zack, Ivy and Neil begin to truly understand what these items are. Zack discovers that the belt he wears is the Belt of Olympus, Ivy learns she's wearing the Tiara of Isis and Neil figures out that he's wearing the Pendant of Asgard.I feel you could tighten this sentence They learn all this from an old man, who reveals himself to not to be an old man, but instead, the Oracle of Delphi, the mystical being that was widely believed to be able to foresee into the Future. She was entrusted by three gods from three different cultures to guard three items of divine power and she has done so for over a thousand years, until the children found them. She was originally going to take them from them, but somehow, she felt that this was meant to be

Where I have placed a strikethrough I feel you could tighten this up.  This is an example of how you could improve it. Get rid of the adverbs and unnecessary words. Say what you want to say - why say ten words when five will say the same things.


Good luck with it and please provide critique to others I look forward to reading more although this time was a bit too long for me to provide you more feedback.

All the best

Lin
« Last Edit: March 15, 2011, 03:35:12 AM by Orangutansaver »

Offline Nevets

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Re: TV Show ideas
« Reply #6 on: March 17, 2011, 09:16:30 PM »
Secrets all around us

Synopsis: For years people have either considered, disregarded or searched for evidence of certain classes of creatures; paranormal, magical, cryptic, even supernatural. Such creatures included; The Yeti, fairies, the Chewpacabra, aliens, Bigfoot, ghosts and the Loch Ness Monster. But people don’t realize is that these creatures not only exist, but are actually in league with one another. For many years now, magical creatures, Supernatural beings and all the rest have teamed up for one common goal; to protect each other from humanity. They are an organization known as The Secrecy. With technology they’ve pinched over the years and magic spells, talismans and artifacts that some of the members have contributed, The Secrecy has managed to create false leads and sightings for the general public to better find ways to survive (for example; the Loch ness Monster was said to be a hoax, but that actually was hoax to help Nessie leave Scotland altogether). But now the organization faces its greatest threat; a former alien Secrecy operative who has seized control of a major human business empire and now is on a mission to expose The Secrecy. The organization also must deal with a variety of crisis’, be they magical, paranormal, etc.     

Lin

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Re: TV Show ideas
« Reply #7 on: March 18, 2011, 04:56:45 AM »
I am no expert on writing ideas for TV, but see if I can help here.

A synopsis should be written in the style of you telling me your story.  Leave out all the 'flowery' words.

You need to write as clean and tight as you can.  This will impress.  

This opening sentence can be shortened a lot. ' For years people have either considered, disregarded or searched for evidence of certain classes of creatures; paranormal, magical, cryptic, even supernatural. Such creatures included; The Yeti, fairies, the Chewpacabra, aliens, Bigfoot, ghosts and the Loch Ness Monster.

Think about what this is actually saying and cut it down.  For many years people have searched for evidence of the paranormal.  _ We don't need the rest.  But this doesn't belong in a synopsis in this context.

Try not to insult the intelligence of your readers. (for example; the Loch ness Monster was said to be a hoax, but that actually was hoax to help Nessie leave Scotland altogether).  We all know about the Loch Ness Monster, so don't tell us it was a hoax.  Consider writing this in other ways. Tighten it up. Write it as though you were telling me a story face to face.

Eg John goes to Manchester to find his ex-wife. On arrival at the house of his mother in law, he finds they have both disappeared and the police are looking for his wife Jean.   On leaving the street of his old home, he is involved in a hit and run accident.  A woman dies. The car missed him. (If I wanted to I could tighten this even further, I wrote this on the spur of the moment)

Here I tried to leave out the unnecessary words.

We want to see action.  Your synopsis is needing to be written in the present tense. Don't use 'For many years now' or add in bits of long information for the reader -we want action.  But I am aware this is purely an idea yes? But if this is your synopsis then I suggest you consider improvement. Please ensure you are clear in your aims.

 YOUR Synopsis: For years people have either considered, disregarded or searched for evidence of certain classes of creatures; paranormal, magical, cryptic, even supernatural. Such creatures included; The Yeti, fairies, the Chewpacabra, aliens, Bigfoot, ghosts and the Loch Ness Monster. But people don’t realize is that these creatures not only exist, but are actually in league with one another. For many years now, magical creatures, Supernatural beings and all the rest have teamed up for one common goal; to protect each other from humanity. They are an organization known as The Secrecy. With technology they’ve pinched over the years and magic spells, talismans and artifacts that some of the members have contributed, The Secrecy has managed to create false leads and sightings for the general public to better find ways to survive (for example; the Loch ness Monster was said to be a hoax, but that actually was hoax to help Nessie leave Scotland altogether). But now the organization faces its greatest threat; a former alien Secrecy operative who has seized control of a major human business empire and now is on a mission to expose The Secrecy. The organization also must deal with a variety of crisis’, be they magical, paranormal, etc.


You could start like this

The Secrecy, an organisation using magic spell technology stolen from... etc etc and move the story forward tightening up your words.  Leave out phrases such as , but that actually was a hoax - write - ...discovering a hoax. Or just - it was a hoax.

As I say I am no expert but I hope what I have written here will get you to read up on synopsis writing through books and the internet, especially if you are thinking of writing for TV.  You might consider novel writing? You have lots of interesting ideas there - use them wisely.

I wish you every success and I hope I have been helpful. Also please interact with me and the other members, I would like to know more about where you are coming from  with your writing.  It can make a difference.

Lin
« Last Edit: March 18, 2011, 05:29:24 AM by Orangutansaver »

Offline Nevets

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Re: TV Show ideas
« Reply #8 on: March 18, 2011, 09:30:25 PM »
First of all, I first discovered my talent for writing stories during 4th grade. Granted, large parts of my stories were inspired by television. But I’d like to think my skills have improved

Second of all, I posted my ideas as they were to make sure the general plot was completely understood. So please critique the general idea of my show ideas.

Thirdly, let’s try this again

1.   The Divine Three:
Three elementary school kids (ages 9-12 and one a girl) of a place called Nexus City, USA, accidentally stumble upon a box with three strange items. After they learn of the magical powers that these items possess, the Oracle of Delphi takes upon herself to train them on how to us it. Now the three children must use their powers to defeat the evil Greek witch, Circe and her allies; Apep the serpent and Skadi, Goddess of Ice.


2.   Secrets all around us:
There are all sorts of creatures in the world. Some that people try to prove exist, others that some people only believe could exist. But there’s a reason why some creatures are considered fakes, they’re covering their own tracks. Bigfoot, dragons, ghosts, even aliens and all the other strange creatures from earth and beyond, belong to an organization called, The Secrecy. A group of creatures who have one thing in common, they seek protection from certain humans. But now the organization must deal with a former alien Secrecy operative who has seized control of a major human business empire and has schemes against The Secrecy.

Lin

  • Guest
Re: TV Show ideas
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2011, 07:14:40 AM »
Ah this is better. I liked the idea of Divine Three. I feel it will hold much intrigue and mystery for the age group you have portrayed in the story.  I liked it very much. Most younger children love a story.  The names you have chosen for your characters seem perfect.

As the for the second one 'Secrets All Around Us" I felt this was for an older audience 12 - 16 years. It seems to provide much interest on the basis of there being lots of intriguing creatures to behold and many problems to overcome.  Yes in both cases, according to this synopsis, I feel if I was a child I would want to know what happens.  Thanks. Keeping it short and simple, it made sense to me.

Gaining critique is important and I feel in view of your longer interpretations this may have deterred other members from providing you with an overview. I hope now you will find more feedback. MWC is a good place to be.

Lin x