Poll

Which FF entry do you think did the best job?

Full charm offensive
2 (14.3%)
Syncopated Heart Beats
3 (21.4%)
Covetous
5 (35.7%)
Untitled
4 (28.6%)

Total Members Voted: 12

Voting closed: February 08, 2011, 06:59:58 PM

Author Topic: Winner now posted for Flash Fiction Challenge #24  (Read 3058 times)

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Winner now posted for Flash Fiction Challenge #24
« on: February 01, 2011, 06:59:58 PM »
It would have been nice if there had been more entries received for the challenge; still I think those received are very good.

Thank you all who entered.   ;)

Please read and place your ONE VOTE for your favorite.  Voting will be open until midnight Feb. 7th.


*   *   *

Stories for FF # 24



 1.    Full charm offensive
    
     That was the strategy for the seduction of Jake. When she went up to visit him she took a meal she’d prepared. The purpose of this was to save him the effort of cooking -- consideration -- cut back in the expenses of eating out – frugality -- and to show off her culinary skills -- talent. She brought wine for dinner and brandy as a nightcap -- a little alcohol could loosen one up nicely -- her unfinished crossword from the week before --appeal to his intelligence -- and her Clarence Clemons CD, -- music to ‘dance’ to -- as a gift for him -- thoughtfulness.

     Simpering and overt sexiness would put Jake off so Louise had thought hard about how to present herself with subtlety, not her forte, and signals of suggestiveness. Jake was very tactile and sensual so she chose to wear the dress she had worn to dinner with Marcus and had toned down the outfit with a soft cashmere cardigan, that will invite a stroke or two. Jake was used to seeing her in jeans or slacks, he didn’t know she had shapely legs and a woman’s body.
    
     Everything had gone to plan, now it was time for the music. ‘CC Angel’ blared out. “Oh, listen to this bit,” Louise urged. She pouted as she sang along, lost in the lyrics.
“Well, your mam-ma won’t like her – but I KNOW that your daddy will – Whoo.”
“To hell with daddy – come over here,” Jake said.







2.  Syncopated Heart Beats

Harry woke with a jolt. There was no hypnopompic transition, just a crystal clear realisation that he was awake, and his heart had stopped beating. He willed it to re-start. It refused. He jerked himself upright and pounded his chest.
 
"I'm afraid that won't work," a mellifluous voice said.

A man, dressed in a tuxedo and bow tie, stood at the foot of Harry's bed. "I'm The Maestro," the man said. "I'm here to help."

"Then help me. Please!"

The Maestro extended his arms, swivelled his hands palm up, and said, "Take this." A trumpet appeared in his hands.

"Can't breathe," Harry wheezed, as he reached for the trumpet. The Maestro nodded and Harry put the mouthpiece to his lips. He had no breath, yet a vibrant note sounded from the horn.

As he fingered the valves, music seemed to skip straight from Harry's mind to the trumpet. Soon he was playing like Dizzy Gillespie. The room filled with rhythmic jazz riffs and Harry's heart began tapping its foot: beat-beat-be-bop. By the time he reached the end of the refrain, his heart was in full, syncopated, swing. Then, as his lungs filled with precious, sweet, wonderful air, Harry let the trumpet fall into his lap.
 
As the final note faded, The Maestro's flesh fell from his bones, his suit transmogrified into a hooded robe, and in his hands a scythe appeared. He swung the scythe — back for a minim, held it for a quaver — then lopped off Harry's head.




#3    Covetous

  
The resonance of a classical composition drifted through the dark, spacious house of Mary McClure. It had stirred her from her sleep and lured her to a door, a door that had never been there before.

A large, vacant room welcomed her on the other side. The cool touch of grass beneath her feet hardly eased her tension.

Beside her a vision of two girls took shape. They held hands as they glided through the air on separate swings. Mary yearned to stay, yet the increasing pulse of the music forced her forward.

The image faded and the grass gave way to sand. Whispers drowning in tears surfaced behind her. Mary almost fainted as she watched the two girls, now older, observing the funeral of their parents. They no longer held hands.

Mary continued on, mud now layering the ground beneath her feet. A cloud of darkness enveloped her. She peered through a bedroom window where one of the girls, now a woman, lay dying. The emergency response team tried their best to revive her. The other girl stood in the doorway with a hint of a smile on her face.

The ground turned rigid.

Violins slashed the cold air.

At the far end of the room stood a bedside table with a clock radio; the same radio Mary’s sister had used to practice violin with.

A specter of her departed sister formed before her, and within her pale eyes lingered a reflection – a reflection of Mary’s own guilty conscience.

The music stopped.






#4    Untitled

"You're over-thinking it, Sinaed. Stop thinking about it and you'll do fine."
Mr Thomas sounds so calm. It's alright for him. He's only the pianist.

I feel sick and lightheaded and there's so little air in my lungs I'm scared I'll suffocate. Why did I agree to do this? Mr Thomas said I had a 'lovely voice'.

That won't do me much good if I drop dead on-stage. The whole school is here tonight: plus, most of the teachers, all the choir's parents including mine-yikes!-and the governors. Talk about tough crowd!

Thanks a bunch, sir!

Over-thinking it? I wish!

Actually, I should probably blame my mum for this. She was the one who suggested I have singing lessons in the first place. "It'll help your confidence, darling." And then Mr Thomas told her about my 'lovely voice'. She was pleased as punch. I wasn't so sure.

But, Mum persuaded me. She's irritatingly good at doing that, which is why I'm here shaking all over. Wishing some scientist will finally perfect time-travel or discover a very localized wormhole. Or something...

I can hear rustling from the back row. Something's being passed up to the front, towards me. When it lands in my palm, I can see it's a can of coke. I swig. It's flat, but it tastes amazing.

I twist round, giving everybody the thumbs-up. I can hear the heavy yank of the curtain. I take a breath.

Three. Two. One.

Summertime, and the living is easy








 
« Last Edit: February 08, 2011, 11:53:36 PM by Country4Gal »
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Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: Voting Open for Flash Fiction Challenge #24
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2011, 10:53:44 PM »
You have a few days yet to read and vote.

Come one folks, let you vote count for your favorite FF story.
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Offline Rohi Shetty

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Re: Voting Open for Flash Fiction Challenge #24
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2011, 05:25:48 AM »
They are all exceptionally good.  :)

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: Voting Open for Flash Fiction Challenge #24
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2011, 07:46:57 PM »
  
  *   We have a winner   *  





    Covetous    

By

Joe Mynhard


Step up Joe and take a well deserved bow for a winning story.


I also want to thank everyone who entered and encourage you to let everyone know which is your's.  They were all good and something to be proud of.


Alright Joe, I'm passing the baton; FF challenge 25 is now your baby.
MWC Charity Publications.
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight>
The universe is made of stories, not of atoms. -Muriel Rukeyser, poet and activist (15 Dec 1913-1980)

R. L. Copple's: http://www.rlcopple.com/

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.
-Mohandas K. Gandhi

Offline 510bhan

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Re: Voting Open for Flash Fiction Challenge #24
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2011, 07:51:34 PM »
Congrats Joe - well done. Should have guessed you penned it with the scary theme in there. Loved it. :D

Offline Rohi Shetty

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Re: Winner now posted for Flash Fiction Challenge #24
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2011, 02:35:09 AM »
Congrats, Joe!
The last line is great - "The music stopped."
Indeed.

Offline Mark H

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Re: Winner now posted for Flash Fiction Challenge #24
« Reply #6 on: February 09, 2011, 02:42:30 AM »
Well done Joe.

M
Buy Bristle Side Down, The Man Who Wore Brown Shoes and Middleclass Machismo here:
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If poetry is not your thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PueM04F0Qz8 or: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0Zm8cj9MGg

Offline Joe Mynhardt

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Re: Winner now posted for Flash Fiction Challenge #24
« Reply #7 on: February 09, 2011, 12:29:13 PM »
Thanks, you lot. Was fun writing it.
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Offline Joe Mynhardt

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Re: Winner now posted for Flash Fiction Challenge #24
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2011, 10:49:36 AM »
I'll have the next challenge up by Sunday.
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Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: Winner now posted for Flash Fiction Challenge #24
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2011, 11:10:29 AM »
Looking forward to see what you come up with Joe.  ;D
MWC Charity Publications.
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The universe is made of stories, not of atoms. -Muriel Rukeyser, poet and activist (15 Dec 1913-1980)

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Offline Offeiriad

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Re: Winner now posted for Flash Fiction Challenge #24
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2011, 03:29:37 PM »
I wrote mine the day you announced what it was to be then sat on it to make sure I liked it enough to enter it, then promptly forgot to do so until 2 days after.  ::)  :'(
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Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: Winner now posted for Flash Fiction Challenge #24
« Reply #11 on: February 10, 2011, 06:59:03 PM »
I wrote mine the day you announced what it was to be then sat on it to make sure I liked it enough to enter it, then promptly forgot to do so until 2 days after.  ::)  :'(

(Shaking finger in your direction)

Shame on you. Next time send it on it's way when you're sure it's ready.  :o
MWC Charity Publications.
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight>
The universe is made of stories, not of atoms. -Muriel Rukeyser, poet and activist (15 Dec 1913-1980)

R. L. Copple's: http://www.rlcopple.com/

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.
-Mohandas K. Gandhi