Author Topic: First Liners - Would a publisher want to read more?  (Read 774341 times)

Offline Gyppo

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Re: First Liners - Would a publisher want to read more?
« Reply #510 on: July 10, 2008, 05:11:26 PM »
I'm just trying to avoid a contrived opening, one that kinda screams at the reader/browser: 'I wrote this weird opening because you're a brain-dead twonk whose attention I need to lasso within three words.'  ;D

Stop worrying about what the readers may think you thought about them.  You're selling them a story, not your soul.  if the story's good enough they won't even notice the man who wrote it.

Seriously.

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Offline SteveJ

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Re: First Liners - Would a publisher want to read more?
« Reply #511 on: July 10, 2008, 05:14:16 PM »
Then do so.  And do it so well that people have to read it.

I'd love to, Mr G, but seeing as my main protagonists end up dead, it's a little difficult.
And I don't want to go down the road of using a 'journal' to tell the story in retrospect, as it were :(

Stop worrying about what the readers may think you thought about them.  You're selling them a story, not your soul.  if the story's good enough they won't even notice the man who wrote it.

Yep, good advice, mate, thank you :)
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Offline Gyppo

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Re: First Liners - Would a publisher want to read more?
« Reply #512 on: July 10, 2008, 05:19:03 PM »
Ah, the dead narrator problem ;-)    Not insurmountable, but it doea always seem contrived.  Acceptable in a short story, but not so much in a novel.

Gyppo
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Offline rewh2oman

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Re: First Liners - Would a publisher want to read more?
« Reply #513 on: July 10, 2008, 05:21:39 PM »
but seeing as my main protagonists end up dead

you must have some supporting characters? there in lies your answer.

...russ

Orpheus

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Re: First Liners - Would a publisher want to read more?
« Reply #514 on: July 10, 2008, 05:24:54 PM »
Ah . . . that difficult first line.

What about the other 100,000 words? What do you do if they're all gob-shite as well? :P
« Last Edit: July 10, 2008, 05:30:15 PM by Orpheus »

Offline Gyppo

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Re: First Liners - Would a publisher want to read more?
« Reply #515 on: July 10, 2008, 07:03:17 PM »
Ah . . . that difficult first line.

What about the other 100,000 words? What do you do if they're all gob-shite as well? :P

Statistically that's pretty unlikely.  But if so, you write another and better book.  If you are still consistently writing gob-shite after several hundred thousand words then perhaps writing really isn't your thing.

Gyppo
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

In the meantime, why not take pity on a starving author and visit my book sales page at http://stores.lulu.com/gyppo1

Orpheus

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Re: First Liners - Would a publisher want to read more?
« Reply #516 on: July 11, 2008, 03:29:22 AM »
Quote
If you are still consistently writing gob-shite after several hundred thousand words then perhaps writing really isn't your thing.

My favourite quote on MWC to date. Thanks Gyppo. Perhaps we should pass this on to a number of published authors I could mention (and I'm sure you know a few as well).  ;D

Offline ma100

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Re: First Liners - Would a publisher want to read more?
« Reply #517 on: July 12, 2008, 06:49:51 AM »
Ok I am toying with the idea of making this my opening paragraph to The Meek Inheritance. Is it ok or total crap? :-\

Water cascaded through the half open windows.  Dark murky torrents, sucking in fish, rats and reeds, at least, that's what she wanted to believe.  Resting her gaze on the terrified face, swallowing, spluttering, gasping for air, unable to move in his watery four wheeled tomb, she tilted her head, fascinated. The bulge of his eyes and gulping mouth put her in mind of the Bream, Gudgeon and Chub her dad showed her when she was small. 'He was a good dad, unlike you, he deserved kids.'
« Last Edit: July 12, 2008, 03:26:43 PM by ma100 »

Offline SteveJ

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Re: First Liners - Would a publisher want to read more?
« Reply #518 on: July 12, 2008, 07:12:13 AM »
I think this is a great & dramatic opening, it really works for me.
Personally, I would italicise the word 'deserved', but then, I italicise everything, so ignore me ;D ;D
Great stuff, Ma. :)
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Offline Swampfox one

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Re: First Liners - Would a publisher want to read more?
« Reply #519 on: July 12, 2008, 07:57:17 AM »
Great opening.
JH

Offline ma100

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Re: First Liners - Would a publisher want to read more?
« Reply #520 on: July 12, 2008, 03:13:11 PM »
You think? Ok I will try running with it

Offline Cathy C

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Re: First Liners - Would a publisher want to read more?
« Reply #521 on: July 12, 2008, 03:19:36 PM »
Starting a new book and wondering if this para has the 'oomph' I need. :-\

Thoughts anyone?



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Offline Andrewf

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Re: First Liners - Would a publisher want to read more?
« Reply #522 on: July 12, 2008, 03:27:19 PM »
Ok I am toying with the idea of making this my opening paragraph to The Meek Inheritance. Is it ok or total crap? :-\

Oooh.. Very strong start there... has grabbed my attention, and I don't read these genre of stories. ;D
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Offline Andrewf

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Re: First Liners - Would a publisher want to read more?
« Reply #523 on: July 12, 2008, 03:29:41 PM »
Starting a new book and wondering if this para has the 'oomph' I need. :-\

Thoughts anyone?

While this start has me curious...  It hasn't grabbed me by the head and demanded that I read more...   :-\
"If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion." - L. Long.

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Offline ma100

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Re: First Liners - Would a publisher want to read more?
« Reply #524 on: July 12, 2008, 03:35:57 PM »
Starting a new book and wondering if this para has the 'oomph' I need. :-\

Perhaps it is the inquisitive side of me but I would want to read on. :)