Ok I am toying with the idea of making this my opening paragraph to The Meek Inheritance. Is it ok or total crap?

Water cascaded through the half open windows. Dark murky torrents, sucking in fish, rats and reeds, at least, that's what she wanted to believe. Resting her gaze on the terrified face, swallowing, spluttering, gasping for air, unable to move in his watery four wheeled tomb, she tilted her head, fascinated. The bulge of his eyes and gulping mouth put her in mind of the Bream, Gudgeon and Chub her dad showed her when she was small. 'He was a good dad, unlike you, he deserved kids.'