Author Topic: My English Teacher (modified)  (Read 2456 times)

Offline Biola

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1770
  • Creation swings on the axis of LOVE
    • View Profile
My English Teacher (modified)
« on: December 09, 2010, 04:05:02 PM »
his beard
pot belly and stringy hair,
the sun reflects
from the middle of
his balding head
like someone eating
hot potatoes.
he tries to impart
the techniques
of the foreign language.
In fright,
we take cover
from the thunderous
clap of his voice
as he yells
“stoodunts!,
It is time for English Looonguage!”
any wonder
I never learned punctuation.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2010, 08:47:45 AM by Biola »
we learn every day if we want. check my blog http://biola-ephesus-ephesus.blogspot.com, Ephesus@Wordpress.com
buy my books, BLOOD CONTRACT,NUMEN YEYE at amazon.com

Offline Bar

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 943
    • View Profile
Re: My English Teacher
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2010, 07:33:13 PM »
... and still, your teacher did quite a good job, judging from your writing, Biola!

I didn't know:

like someone eating
hot potatoes
esconced in his mouth


would come to mind of a Congolese just as it did to that of a Pole, a French, an Italian, or an Israeli...  Parmentier wouldn't have imagined how useful bringing potatoes over from America was to describing the English pronunciation!
I'm sorry for so much ignorance, when did potatoes reach your country? With colonialism???...

If you feel punctuation is an arrow in your heel, than you're on a good way. Well, just as your poems show! Cheers. Bar
Facing it, always facing it, that's the way to get through. Face it!
(Joseph Conrad)
Lifelessness is only a façade concealing forms of life unknown to us.
(Bruno Schulz)

Offline 510bhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63376
  • So many jobs to do . . .
    • View Profile
Re: My English Teacher
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2010, 07:58:45 PM »
This one didn't work for me Biola.
Ambassador for NI. [without portfolio] 
http://www.lulu.com/shop/mwc/as-the-kettle-wolf-whistled/paperback/product-21544909.html

Offline eric

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10576
    • View Profile
Re: My English Teacher
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2010, 08:04:18 PM »
I happened to be at the actual cyber-incident this is based on, and the original was much funnier than the poem.  Maybe think about it for a couple of days and revise the text.

Offline Rhythmwalker

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 40
    • View Profile
Re: My English Teacher
« Reply #4 on: December 10, 2010, 12:11:04 AM »
How interesting this piece is to me.  This person obviously made enough of an impact on you to be expressed through writing.  The gifts that shape us often come in the most unsuspecting ways. I am sure you done him proud.

Offline Biola

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1770
  • Creation swings on the axis of LOVE
    • View Profile
Re: My English Teacher
« Reply #5 on: December 10, 2010, 07:32:56 AM »
 ;D ;D
I think I like the feeling of being silly once in a while.
Bar, my English teacher was really something!  ;D I can still remember my fist sight of potato and we were not impressed. Still prefer yams. The funny sounds made reminded us of someone with hot food in his mouth trying to talk at the same time. ;D ;D
510 I guess I did not sound silly enough I just wanted to make you smile :) We are always puzzled at the way of speech of our colonial masters or the Africans who try to speak like them. It is even now hilarious when you see a village boy trying to talk like Eddie Murphy or Kanye West or Lord bless me reggae artists!!!
Eric: Yeah I made an attempt to be serious and see where it got me ;D  ;D
Rhythmwalker: thanks. great things start from little things, I actually became a broadcaster because I was too angry at the way he pronounced those words
biola
« Last Edit: December 10, 2010, 07:35:08 AM by Biola »
we learn every day if we want. check my blog http://biola-ephesus-ephesus.blogspot.com, Ephesus@Wordpress.com
buy my books, BLOOD CONTRACT,NUMEN YEYE at amazon.com

Offline 510bhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63376
  • So many jobs to do . . .
    • View Profile
Re: My English Teacher
« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2010, 08:13:22 AM »
Hi Biola - guess you had to be there? Delighted you had a giggle and even more pleased that it spurred you on to broadcasting - you rock! ;) ;) ;)
Ambassador for NI. [without portfolio] 
http://www.lulu.com/shop/mwc/as-the-kettle-wolf-whistled/paperback/product-21544909.html

Offline Biola

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1770
  • Creation swings on the axis of LOVE
    • View Profile
Re: My English Teacher
« Reply #7 on: December 10, 2010, 01:21:33 PM »
 ;D ;D
510bhan, Thanks for laughing with me  ;D
I had to remind myself of my teacher to remain sane. thanks a lot. love your sense of fun
Biola
we learn every day if we want. check my blog http://biola-ephesus-ephesus.blogspot.com, Ephesus@Wordpress.com
buy my books, BLOOD CONTRACT,NUMEN YEYE at amazon.com

Offline Kowboy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1666
    • View Profile
Re: My English Teacher
« Reply #8 on: December 10, 2010, 10:31:01 PM »
Biola:

I don't know enough to comment on your poem much. It wasn't one of my favorites.

However, I did have an English Composition teacher that was distractively attractive in a Meg Ryan kind of way. Although she was a complete professional and I was able to disguise my adolescent boy lecherousness (I think, I hope :D) I wouldn't take another class of hers. I have enough trouble with school without constantly mentally undressing my professor.

And DIZI, you're going to love this, I actually got to see her panties one day. Her skirt came a bit unzipped and I saw these lovely large polka dots. I discreetly tipped her off and she was grateful.

Kowboy

Offline Biola

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1770
  • Creation swings on the axis of LOVE
    • View Profile
Re: My English Teacher
« Reply #9 on: December 11, 2010, 03:12:04 AM »
 ::) ::) Kowboy!
Like I said in an earlier comment, I would be surprised if people liked it much. I was just having a little joke on myself. Was becoming too serious and felt being silly would not be such a bad idea once in a while. ;D
My English teacher made me angry enough to want to 'teach him' years later he sent me a nice letter saying he thinks I have learned to speak well above average but I still refused to say 'stoodunts!"  ;D  ;D
biola
we learn every day if we want. check my blog http://biola-ephesus-ephesus.blogspot.com, Ephesus@Wordpress.com
buy my books, BLOOD CONTRACT,NUMEN YEYE at amazon.com

Offline DIZI

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1962
    • View Profile
    • My Blog.
Re: My English Teacher
« Reply #10 on: December 11, 2010, 07:00:48 AM »
I really like this. I keep coming back to it, I think it´s hilarious.
My advise;

he was nice
tried so hard to like him
You don´t need this, just go staight into his description. Let us decide by your poem if he´s nice.
his beard.
pot belly and stringy hair maybe - his pot belly,  stringy beard and hair

esconced in his mouth - this line threw me, what does it mean?

JMO of course.
I´d love to hear you reading it. :-*
« Last Edit: December 11, 2010, 07:14:16 AM by DIZI »
http://dizidi.blogspot.com/

Offline Biola

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1770
  • Creation swings on the axis of LOVE
    • View Profile
Re: My English Teacher
« Reply #11 on: December 11, 2010, 08:38:39 AM »
Oh Dizi.
You had me laughing just because you wanted me to read it. First I speak Nigeria English.. you know.. like we waer taxis?  ??? ??? because we simply tranlate how we speak into English.. another one.. I have said it here enough times so maybe you have come across it.. my stomach is very sweet to meet you.. we think our colonial masters speak funny like they had something hot in their mouth.. my mother will say they speak like someone was pinching their nose ;D it was usually said in jest so when we had English teachers, we thought they spoke funny. They saw us as savages. I will not tell you what we thought of them!!  ;D ;D ;D er I kind of like it here see? I will take the corrections you said and amend accordingly, thanks a lot still laughing at the narrow escape you just had...whooosssh Phew!
Biola
we learn every day if we want. check my blog http://biola-ephesus-ephesus.blogspot.com, Ephesus@Wordpress.com
buy my books, BLOOD CONTRACT,NUMEN YEYE at amazon.com

Offline DIZI

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1962
    • View Profile
    • My Blog.
Re: My English Teacher (modified)
« Reply #12 on: December 11, 2010, 09:24:25 AM »
Not at all, I did not expect you speak the Queens English.
I´d love to hear this, in your own voice.

“stoodunts!,
It is time for English Looonguage
http://dizidi.blogspot.com/

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

  • http://www.writestreet.com/writestree
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 31219
  • Hello from Texas
    • View Profile
    • Alice's Hide Away
Re: My English Teacher (modified)
« Reply #13 on: December 11, 2010, 10:23:05 AM »
Biola, a few years back I decided to 'refresh' some of my learning and the first class I signed up for at our local community college was English 101.

I lucked out by getting a professor that really loved his job. Being an evening class, my fellow students were a mixture of many ages and backgrounds.

Many of the students were quiet, having little to say and very few questions to ask during class even though our prof. encouraged us to speak up and take part.

Knowing me, at least a little bit, I'm sure you know I can't keep my mouth shut for any great length of time, so I not only asked questions, I voiced my take on his responses.

Eventually it dawned on me that I was almost the only one beside the prof. taking during class. So I stopped by his office a while before class one evening as asked him if I should shut-up.

"Oh no. I like that you speak up. Keep it up and maybe the rest of the class will start talking too," he said.

And it worked. We soon had some very lively discussions going in class that made the time fly by and, I think it helped the learning also.

But what I started out to say was that we had one student in class from South Africa. He always sat at near the door and even when others began to ask questions and speak up, he remained quiet.

Until one day someone used a local slang term to say something and it seemed he  just had to ask "What does that mean?"

That question opened a flood gate and he joined in more after that.

I loved hearing him speak; there was an almost musical feel to not only his words, but the way he spoke them.

He told us he had been here for several months and had learned most of his English from watching TV. Which told me he was very intelligent to be able to speak English as well as he did, considering some of the bad grammar contained in the programs on our TV.

All that to say, I would love to hear you read this poem also - Shoot, I would love to hear you speak, no matter what you were saying.

My stomach would be sweet to meet you.  ;) 
MWC Charity Publications.
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight>
The universe is made of stories, not of atoms. -Muriel Rukeyser, poet and activist (15 Dec 1913-1980)

R. L. Copple's: http://www.rlcopple.com/

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.
-Mohandas K. Gandhi

Offline Biola

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1770
  • Creation swings on the axis of LOVE
    • View Profile
Re: My English Teacher (modified)
« Reply #14 on: December 11, 2010, 03:36:50 PM »
That simply is the best comment and compliment I ever heard sister! ;D  ;D If ever I know a way to do that I would do it for you and Dizi. Years when I started my broadcast career, I was determined I did not want to sound like him for I barely understood my English teacher but I loved the speech of some of my English mistress. Then we were given a dictionary for phonetics ,but I was dismayed to see that my English Miss could not follow such meticulous and precise pronounciations. Our dialects and languages affects the way we speak. I am from the Yoruba tribe but even then we speak differently so you can imagine 350 languages with its own warp! Then the younger ones came on and all wanted to be American in everything.My mother used to say I speak funny, now I say the same thing about my children as I desperately try to make them hang on to their identity. Cor! I love the English language for it introduced me to the finest writers I ever dreamed. But I am still at a loss about those tenses, punctuations and er... just about everything.
 ;D ;D when stomachs knock together quite a lot of good can come from it.May you never stub your foot or walk on the day the road is hungry
Biola
we learn every day if we want. check my blog http://biola-ephesus-ephesus.blogspot.com, Ephesus@Wordpress.com
buy my books, BLOOD CONTRACT,NUMEN YEYE at amazon.com