Author Topic: The rambling of an ancient writer  (Read 1247 times)

Offline A.W.M

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The rambling of an ancient writer
« on: November 19, 2010, 05:06:07 PM »

                    And Then Came the Electric Cigarette

From: Management/Employee Relations
To: All Employees

Smoking is not allowed within fifteen feet of the building.  Those using electric cigarettes must also abide by these rules.  The designated area for smoking can be input in your personal GPS using the coordinates provided at minimal cost by your management.  The coordinates will put you at the exact position of Hurricane force winds, and heavy snow. It is possible that damaging winds may carry away small sheds, children and old ladies with umbrellas.  Snow up to 33 inches or more may be expected to fall during your break period.   Temperatures are expected to drop into the -30 to -50 degree range.  Extreme caution is advised.

It has been brought to out attention that employees have been using company power to recharge their electric cigarettes.  This practice must cease immediately.

Batteries are available in the company store at a reasonable price.

Also, the company nurse has advised that several employees have experienced injuries related to extension cords being used to power electric cigarettes.   Tripping and near strangulation have resulted from extremely long extension cords running from office spaces, down halls and stairways on the ninth floor to the smoking area.  Effective immediately, extension cords must not be used as a power source for electric cigarettes.

Please use extreme caution when using your electric cigarettes around swimming pools, water puddles, and glasses of beer or other liquids.  A list of such liquids is available in the nurse’s office.  

Management also advises all employees to dress warmly and remember your smoking break is only for five minutes each Thursday, this includes travel time from the ninth floor to the smoking area and back to your desk.

Remember our rule, no running in the building, section 234, paragraph 4.

Thank you for not smoking on company property.

Your company, Partners with labor for the success of management.      
« Last Edit: November 19, 2010, 05:08:17 PM by AWM »
Most people live and die
with their music still unplayed.
They never dare to try.

~ Mary Kay Ash