Author Topic: Two more poems!  (Read 1702 times)

Offline Karayana

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Two more poems!
« on: July 06, 2006, 08:57:43 AM »
The Wind.


I stand, arms wide
Head back
Inside
I feel
The rush
Of adrenaline.

I give in to the force
Take me
Iím yours
Let go
My soul
I fly.

Hair whips my face
I close my eyes
Shrieks fill my ears
Breath disappears
Iím alive!





Otherworld.


You hide form me,
Within the ethereal morning mists.
I know youíre there,
I can feel you.

Your draw fills me,
The need is strong within me.
I know youíre calling,
I can hear you.

My energy plummets
Down through my planted feet.
I know you want me,
I can taste you.

I stand rooted
Unaware of anything else around me.
I know that earth scent
I can smell you.

You engross me
Tear my soul away from me.
I know this darkness
I can see you.
"Boredom is the greatest enemy of both reader and writer."
Sol Stein.

Offline CarrieSheppard

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Re: Two more poems!
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2006, 05:03:54 AM »
Hiya

Like them both - one tiny comment ..

Quote
Your draw fills me,

I just thought of a cupboard type draw straight away - but I guess you mean draw like pull.  Not a criticism, just how my brain interpreted the words on first reading.

Cheers
Carrie

Offline Karayana

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Re: Two more poems!
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2006, 05:47:23 AM »
Thanks Carrie!
"Boredom is the greatest enemy of both reader and writer."
Sol Stein.

Offline caliban1

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Re: Two more poems!
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2006, 11:23:29 PM »
I liked both poems and I really liked the line "your draw fills me."   I am not surprised that Carrie noticed the line.  You use simple words, but with interesting and rather uncommon connotations.  That is very "poetic" in my mind.

Hope to see more,
Caliban
It is all a metaphor.

Offline Karayana

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Re: Two more poems!
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2006, 07:54:44 AM »
Thanks Caliban. I have posted another called Ultimately which is a personal favourite of mine, and will add a few more too.
"Boredom is the greatest enemy of both reader and writer."
Sol Stein.