Author Topic: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content  (Read 497083 times)

Offline Michael Edits

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1326
    • Michael Edits
Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3720 on: July 04, 2018, 09:16:25 AM »
News: "Boy George's reptile bites 5 people in one day."

He needs a calmer chameleon.
Great writing is like a window pane. Let Michael Edits be your Windex.
Business Editing Services since 2006.
Technical Editing Services since 1991.

Offline Mark T

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4076
Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3721 on: July 04, 2018, 05:02:26 PM »

African bush ranger type character turns up at a small lake full of a skinny-dipping cheerleader team neck deep in the water. 
"Go away!" shouts the cheerleader leader.
"I will," says the ranger, "as soon as I've fed the crocodiles."   

Offline Michael Edits

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1326
    • Michael Edits
Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3722 on: November 30, 2018, 09:35:57 PM »
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to
other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 a.m., the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, 'Ma'am,
I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get
me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'
'I have a better idea,' she replied, 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married'.
'Wow! That's a great idea!' he exclaimed.
'Good,' she replied, 'Get your own f...ing blanket!'
After a moment of silence, he farted.
The End
Great writing is like a window pane. Let Michael Edits be your Windex.
Business Editing Services since 2006.
Technical Editing Services since 1991.

Offline Vienna

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7392
Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3723 on: March 27, 2019, 05:32:19 AM »
Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"


_________________________________________________________

A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight. “This is exciting,” thinks the gentleman. “Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.” Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him. Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, “Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in ‘unt?’” Only one word leaps to mind. “My goodness,” thinks the gentleman, “I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word.” The gentleman thinks for quite a while, and then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, “I think the word you're looking for is ‘aunt.’” “Of course,” says the Pope. “Do you have an eraser?”
Just a well-read punk peasant

Going to church makes you a christian as much as standing in a garage makes you a car!

Offline heartsongjt

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1049
  • A/K/A Jan (Sanford) Tetstone
    • Heartsong's Poetry Diary
Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3724 on: March 27, 2019, 10:07:33 AM »
A man who  talks filth in front of another's child,
while covering the ears of his own -isn't much of a man
or father. -Jan Tetstone

A reminder that young children visit MWC. And regardless of labelling a post as vulgar -nasty- adult content ,such posts do show on 'most recent posts.'

It's a shame that some posters post things here that they wouldn't write on paper ,and give to their own child to read.

Limerick Addicts/ Go for it, be creative. Possible Adult/Sexual language.
This is another  thread that don't belong in the public domain.......  Jan

« Last Edit: March 27, 2019, 10:30:45 AM by heartsongjt »
Words are Weapons of Demons and Saints

Offline Vienna

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7392
Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3725 on: March 27, 2019, 10:32:53 AM »
there is a warning and that was always enough! You think you are some kind of maoral apostle right, soon you will walk the boards alone mumbling to yourself. You seem to have got rid of everybody else.
Just a well-read punk peasant

Going to church makes you a christian as much as standing in a garage makes you a car!

Offline heartsongjt

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1049
  • A/K/A Jan (Sanford) Tetstone
    • Heartsong's Poetry Diary
Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3726 on: March 27, 2019, 10:48:12 AM »
there is a warning and that was always enough! You think you are some kind of maoral apostle right, soon you will walk the boards alone mumbling to yourself. You seem to have got rid of everybody else.

Vienna, I have read the beginnings of those two boards. There's no post that reflects your, apparent, mindset ...that it's okay to post filth that young MWC members could possibly read. There was much more respect shown when these two threads began.

I am a person whose parents taught to have values, and always respect  others-until they proved they weren't  worthy of my respect.

People have choices to make everyday-whether or not to visit or post on MWC boards is one of them.



Words are Weapons of Demons and Saints

Offline Vienna

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7392
Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3727 on: March 27, 2019, 12:55:33 PM »
There are a lot of what you call filthy jokes or innuendo on here. I have no desire to argue with a person that is set on ruining this Circle, so like many others that i still have contact with i will not post again. You dont need to comment on this as i will not reply.
Just a well-read punk peasant

Going to church makes you a christian as much as standing in a garage makes you a car!

Offline heartsongjt

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1049
  • A/K/A Jan (Sanford) Tetstone
    • Heartsong's Poetry Diary
Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3728 on: March 27, 2019, 01:02:21 PM »
There are a lot of what you call filthy jokes or innuendo on here. I have no desire to argue with a person that is set on ruining this Circle, so like many others that i still have contact with i will not post again. You dont need to comment on this as i will not reply.

Thank God!
Words are Weapons of Demons and Saints

Offline Dwin

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 21
Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3729 on: May 30, 2019, 08:03:07 AM »
But I will  ;D 'Vienna for President'

An American author decides towrite a book about the churches and cathedrals of Europe, so of course he needs to go to Europe to do research. His first stop is the Vatican and on his tour round he notices a big golden telephone on the wall with a sign above saying 'Twenty thousand dollars direct line to God'. He asks one of the nearby priests what it's all about and the priest replies, " it's true, pay Twenty Thosand dollars and you've got a direct line to the big G himself".

Every church and cathedral he goes to during his travels through France, Belgium, Holland, Germany etc he finds the same golden telephone with the same sign. It gets to the point where he decides to go back to the states to write his book but then he realises that he's not been to the UK. So, after getting a flight over he finds himself in a little village church in North Yorkshire. Sure enough same big golden telephone on the wall but the sign above reads '20p direct line to God'. He says to the Vicar, "everywhere else that I've been it has always been 'Twenty Thousand Dollars direct line to God'. Why is it only 20p here?".

The Vicar replies "Here its only a local call"  ;D