Author Topic: New comedy 2  (Read 2976 times)

Offline AndyPNE

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New comedy 2
« on: August 24, 2010, 03:34:16 PM »
Hello again. Thankyou for the positve reviews to those who replied to my first posting. If you didn't see my last post then i shall fill you in. (put on deep voice) "previously on my postings" (and back to normall). I have written a new comedy play which i am aiming to put on soon. I want the show to be totally different to what we are used to seeing on stage. I have set myself a very difficult challenge. People who i have spoken to about it, including my friends, think that i won't be able to achieve this. Hearing them say that makes me want to achieve my goal even more. If you're wondering what my challenge is, here it is. A lot of new shows that i have seen recently are all very good, but i can't help but notice that they all have a point where either someone is killed, someone is coming out, someone is i'll, there is some type of scandal happening, there is a twist somewhere or someone is being betrayed etc etc. There are also a lot of shows which approach modern day issues such as politcal views and religion. Shows that make the audience think about the way the world is. Now i would just like to say that there is nothing wrong with these shows at all. They are very clever and without a doubt have had an affect on many peoples lives...  But there does seem to be a lot of them. The challenge that i have set myself is to create a show that is entertaining but doesn't include any of this at all. I want my show to be a show where audiences can come along, relax, let all the stresses and worries of their lives go and sit back and enjoy. I have had a lot of inspiration for my show from movies and TV shows. Namely The Inbetweeners and American pie. This is the type of humour that i am going to go for. Young adult comedy. The reason for this is you see alot of this type of comedy on the screen, but i have rarely seen it on stage. I want to see if it transferes. This is the second scene from the show. lights come up on Stephs room. Stephs suitcase is on her bed and she is throwing her clothes everywhere whilst looking for her passport. Her mum is sat on her bed.

Scene 2
Stephs room


Steph Oh where the hell is it?

Mum Are you sure your sister gave it back to you?

Steph Yes.

Mum Shouting. Rachael?

Rachael Offstage. Yeah

Mum Rachael can you hear me?

Rachael Offstage. Obviously.

Mum Did you give that passport back to your sister?

Rachael and Steph answer at the same time.

Rachael Offstage. Yep

Steph Yes she did.

Mum Where did you put it?

They answer at the same time again.

Rachael Offstage. I gave it to her.

Steph She gave it to me.

Mum Well where is it then?

Steph Funnily enough mum if I knew that I wouldnt be looking for it.

Mum Dont be like that Im only trying to help.

Steph Im sorry its just...  Agh.  I had it in my hand.

Mum Are you sure its not in the compartment thing in the lid of your case?

Steph checks.

Steph Nope nothing.

Mum Well Ill tell you what, Why dont you pack your suitcase now, because at least we know its not in there, then therell be less of a mess in your room and itll be easier to find then. Here Ill give you a hand.

They start folding clothes and packing the suitcase together.

Mum Now. Are you going to be ok at the airport?

Steph Yeah.

Mum - Do you know what you have to do, where you have to go?

Steph Mum, I travelled the world on a gap year. I think I can handle Manchester airport on my own. Dont worry.

Mum Im your mum Im allowed to worry.

Steph I know, but you dont have to. Really Im fine.

Mum Have you missed him?

Steph Like crazy. Im itching to just get there. I cant wait to see his face when he sees me.

Mum Awww. You two are a lovely couple. I mean dont get me wrong you have had your ups and down but...

Steph - ...But the least we talk about that the better.

Mum But you got through it my love. You two were made for each other.

Steph Cheers mum.

Mum You havent met up with that other one again have you?

Steph Mum hes just a good mate. Nothing wrong with making new friends is there?

Mum No but you are spending a lot of time with him. Its a bit strange.

Steph Well thats what happens when you make friends. You spend time with them.

Mum Youre not doing anything else with him are you? You know.

Steph Looks over in disbelief at her mum. Thanks mum for assuming that Im cheating on my boyfriend.

Mum Im not assuming anything my darling its just hes a lad. And they are only after one thing.

Steph. Well hes not. Hes a nice lad. He knows where he stands. Trust me nothing has happened.

Mum I just dont want him to think youre leading him on.

Steph He doesnt so stop moaning.

Mum Im your mum. Im allowed to moan too.

Steph Not when Im about to go on holiday youre not.

Mum Is that all your taking? You havent got much.

Steph Im only going for a week.

Mum - Have you got your toothbrush and sun cream and everything?

Steph Yep.

Mum Dont forget your tampons.

Steph No.

Mum Is that everything?

Steph Yeah.

Mum What about contraception?

Steph Mum.

Mum I wasnt born yesterday my darling I know what youre going to be getting up to. Me and your dad were like rabbits on a trampoline when we went abroad.

Steph Thanks for that mental image.

Mum you might as well bring your case downstairs now so you dont have to do it in morning.

Steph picks up her case and starts to take it off stage. As she lifts it up she finds her passport underneath.

Steph There it is. Found it. 


Offline DavidMcK

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Re: New comedy 2
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2010, 03:47:57 PM »
Hi AndyPNE,

Theres not much I can say except that I like what you have here. The mum seems a bit like a female version of Jims dad from American pie. I dont know why your friends dont think this will work. Keep up the good work.

David

Offline AndyPNE

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Re: New comedy 2
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2010, 04:39:41 PM »
Cheers david. Jim's dad is a brilliant character. I think that if i am ever as cool as he is whenever i become a dad, then i can die happy ha ha ha.  My inspiration for the mother was actually taken from the character "Pam" from Gavin & Stacey. Have you seen that show? I find Its really addictive.

Offline DavidMcK

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Re: New comedy 2
« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2010, 04:23:25 PM »
Gavin and Stacey was a great show. I read this again imagining Pam as the Mum and it totally works.

I see that there is a new series of inbetweeners about to start. More inspiration for you.

David

Offline AndyPNE

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Re: New comedy 2
« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2010, 07:26:44 PM »
hiya david. Yeah I can't wait for the new series of the inbetweeners. I think it starts on the thirteenth of this month. I shall be watching, pen and paper in hand ready to twist some ideas lol. I've been meaning to ask, how is your sci-fi story coming along? Are you gonna post any more?

Offline DavidMcK

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Re: New comedy 2
« Reply #5 on: September 03, 2010, 03:12:09 PM »
Hi AndyPNE,

Ive finished the first and second episodes. Ive outlined the rest of the series but I dont see the point in writing them unless this is picked up. Ive sent the first episode into a competition with a UK company called Red Planet Pictures.  I dont hold much hope, apparently there was over 1500 entries. Ill know in the next few weeks how I got on.

Im currently working on a novel but I've an idea for a horror script that I may write soon.

David

Offline mrsbee

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Re: New comedy 2
« Reply #6 on: September 13, 2010, 07:20:22 AM »
Hi AndyPNE
I have just discovered scene 1 and I see where it is going now. I like your dialogue - very natural and fast-paced. Good well-defined characters too. It will go down very well in the theatre. I could also see it going well on radio, always a good place to start.
Good luck!