Author Topic: TV script: The Great God Tomato by mrsbee (just under 1000 words)  (Read 2435 times)

Offline mrsbee

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TV script: The Great God Tomato by mrsbee (just under 1000 words)
« on: September 02, 2010, 05:32:21 AM »
The Great God Tomato is a domestic drama with Absurdist leanings - or is it just silly? I have to know.

 1. EXT. THE RITCHIES’ GARDEN - DAY                               
          A comfortable, fairly modern house and well-kept garden.         
          Music: ’Hopelessly Devoted To You’ by Olivia Newton John.       
          Close-up on a single tomato plant, standing on a metal shelf     
          unit, approximately h120cm, w70cm, d50cm. The whole unit is     
          encased in a plastic, fitted cover, which comes to a peak at     
          the top; the front zips open and is rolled up and secured by     
          a tape. The overall effect is of a roadside shrine.             
          The plant looks healthy with several trusses of tomatoes,       
          still green.                                                     
          On the ground beside the ’shrine’ are a container of tomato     
          food and a large container of water.                             
          RONNIE RITCHIE, early to mid forties, sits on a patio chair,     
          facing the shrine. He is reading a book: ’The Complete           
          Tomato Grower’.                                                 
          CUT TO:                                                         
          2. INT. THE RITCHIES’ LIVING ROOM - DAY                         
          A tastefully-furnished, homely living room with many framed     
          family photographs, especially one of Ronnie with his arm       
          round his son Brian, both wearing football strips and Brian     
          holding a football. The impression is of a close and happy       
          MOIRA RITCHIE, early forties, watches Ronnie through the         
          window. She is talking on the phone.                             
                    Oh yes, he’s out there now. It was                     
                    kind of you to...                                     
          She turns away from the window.                                 
                              MOIRA (CONT)                                 
                    Well it’s certainly done that. He’s                   
                    out of bed before the alarm goes                       
                    these mornings...I know, I know.                       
                    You’re right. He was. Being made                       
                    redundant was a ... sorry                             
                    "downsized"; or if you want to be                     
                    really up to date "uninstalled"...                     
                    Aye well it might be the computer                     
                    age but whatever you call it, it                       
                    comes to the same thing - no job,                     
                    no money coming in...Mmm...Oh, I                       
                    suppose it does get me down a                         
          She quickly changes the subject as ALISON RITCHIE, 17,           
          enters, ready to go out. Moira signals to her that she is       
          just coming. Alison goes to the window.                         
                              MOIRA (CONT)                                 
                    Anyway, thanks again, Christine. We                   
                    must have coffee soon...yes. Bye.                     
                    Honestly, Mum, what’s he like! I                       
                    saw him kneeling in front of it                       
                    yesterday. I swear he was                             
                    Don’t be silly, Alison.                               
                    Any day now I expect to see him in                     
                    priest’s robes...                                     
          CUT TO:                                                         
          The area where the tomato plant stands has been transformed     
          into the altar of a church. In the place of the tabernacle       
          is the ’shrine’ (full size), in front of which stands a         
          Ronnie, dressed in full priest’s celebratory robes, carries     
          out the actions described in Alison’s speech, which is           
          delivered in a hushed, commentary tone with heavy religious     
          intonation and underscored with suitable religious music.       
                              ALISON (VO):                                 
                    The devoted servant of this great                     
                    God genuflects in front of the                         
                    altar. He turns to face his                           
                    congregation - (in her normal                         
                    voice) that’s us.                                     
          We hear Alison and Moira giggle.                                 
                              ALISON (VO) CONT:                           
                    He raises the ciborium, casting his                   
                    eyes to Heaven... but wait a                           
                    minute... in the middle of the                         
                    ciborium, that’s not the Sacred                       
                    Host, it’s... yes... it’s a tomato.                   
          CUT TO:                                                         
          4. INT THE RITCHIES’ LIVING ROOM - DAY                           
          As before.                                                       
          Moira is shocked at Alison’s irreverence.                       
                    (Laughing in spite of herself) You                     
                    and your imagination! Come on, if                     
                    you want a lift. I haven’t got all                     
                    day to waste.                                         
          Moira picks up her bag and car keys.                             
                    Look, he’s reading his Bible now!                     
          Shaking her head, Moira drags Alison away from the window.       
          They go out laughing.                                           
          CUT TO:                                                         
          5. EXT. THE ’SHRINE’ AREA OF RITCHIES’ GARDEN - DAY             
          Ronnie is spraying the tomato plant. He consults his             
          ’bible’, which lies open on the chair.                           
          BRIAN RITCHIE, 11, comes out of the house, carrying a           
          football and approaches the shrine.                             
          Ronnie greets him enthusiastically.                             
                    Brian, son, look at this.                             
          He draws the boy over to the shrine.                             
                              RONNIE (CONT):                               
                    What d’you think, son? Is your old                     
                    Dad a genius or what?                                 
                    Yeah. Great, Dad.                                   
                    See these wee babies! How cute are                     
                    They’re tomatoes, Dad.                                 
          Ronnie ignores Brian’s response. He picks up the ’bible’.       
                    Wait till I show you...                               
          He leafs through the book.                                       
          Brian is restless.                                               
                    Dad, you said...                                       
                    Tt... it’s here somewhere.                             
          CUT TO:                                                         
          6. EXT. STREET OUTSIDE MARGARET’S HOUSE - DAY                   
          There is a car in the driveway.                                 
          Moira draws up at the kerb. Alison gets out of the car.         
                    Thanks, Mum. If I could drive, I                       
                    wouldn’t have to bother you like                       
          Moira smiles weakly.                                             
                    Sorry, pet. Lessons are out of the                     
                    question at the moment. We’ll make                     
                    it up to you. I’m going into town.                     
                    Why don’t you and Margaret come                       
                    with me.                                               
                    No, it’s OK, Mum. Em... I’m doing                     
                    Margaret’s hair first. Bye.                           
          Alison quickly closes the car door. Moira drives off. Alison     
          goes in the gate.                                               
          JASON GRANT (early twenties) comes out of the house. He         
                    All set? We’ll go up to that quiet                     
                    spot we found last time. OK?                           
          Alison nods, biting her lip. They get in the car.               
                    You’re not nervous, are you?                           
                    Just a bit.                                           
          Jason rests his hand on her shoulder.                           
                    I got the impression you enjoyed it                   
                    last time.                                             
                    Yeah, yeah I did. I’ve been really                     
                    looking forward to it.                                 
                    So what’s the problem?                                 
                    It’s just... if my Mum finds out                       
                    she’ll kill me.                                       

Offline DavidMcK

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Re: TV script: The Great God Tomato by mrsbee (just under 1000 words)
« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2010, 04:06:08 PM »
Hi mrsbee.

Great start to your drama. I like the humour and how you introduce your characters. It’s well laid out; it must have took you some time to do the formatting.


Offline mrsbee

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Re: TV script: The Great God Tomato by mrsbee (just under 1000 words)
« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2010, 06:51:41 PM »
Thanks, David, that is very encouraging. I use Celtx for formatting. I used to use Scriptsmart which I preferred but there isn't one for the Mac.

Offline Kiryana

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Re: TV script: The Great God Tomato by mrsbee (just under 1000 words)
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2010, 05:24:52 PM »
Very enjoyable. I like the characters very interesting. Keep up the good work.
@David..formatting on here is so annoying. It does however make it so much easier to read.
"Whether we bring our enemies to justice, or justice to our enemies, justice will be done."

Offline mrsbee

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Re: TV script: The Great God Tomato by mrsbee (just under 1000 words)
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2010, 10:20:17 AM »
Thanks, Kiryana. I guess there is not enough in this post for anyone to answer my question about it being Absurdist or just silly. I hope to post another extract soon. I really need to know.