Author Topic: ~The voice in his thoughts.~ A hashing Question.  (Read 2213 times)

Offline Skip Slocum

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~The voice in his thoughts.~ A hashing Question.
« on: June 10, 2010, 02:09:04 PM »
~The voice in his thoughts.~

I’ve gone back to rewriting my book about Matthew and the Keening from Odin.
In this story, I have Matt’s POV as well as the voice of the narrator when I pull back for an overview.
 
In addition to the spoken dialogue between characters, there are also conversations using telepathy because that is one of the aspects of, “The Keening”.

Now I’ve read several threads on how to show thoughts and most have come to the consensus that the use of Italics is best for doing this as it sets those words apart from regular story text.

Moreover, with spoken dialogue marked with double-quote hash marks, I needed a way to set the telepathy apart from all of those. I also took into account that my friends in the UK and other countries on that side of the big puddle, use single hash marks to capture dialogue.

In the first drafts, I used bold typeface along with italics but the heavy blotches of black ink on the page were jarring and didn’t quite feel right. Through my lessons here, I’ve been taught that consistency throughout the story is also key in success.

I’m leaning toward using these marks, (~) in place of quotes, along with Italics to show the telepathy. I’ll attach a short snippet of the story and ask if you like the concept or does it not sit well with you, my fellow writers.    P.S. What is the proper name for this mark? (~)

Skip

** ** **

… “You may have and not realized it. People don’t expect to hear anything but their own thoughts and so they never know.” Grandpa leaned against the wheel of the cart. “Why don’t you try and speak to me with mere thought?”

Matt shook his head. ~I’m not sure I would like others to hear what I’m thinking.~

~As I said, you will learn to master your control over it.~

Matt put his hand to his brow and stared at the old man. ~No, no, this isn’t really happening.~

~Yes dear boy, it is.~

~Stop this.~
Matt’s eyes flashed hot.

~As you wish.~  “We can speak as others do, it’s all the same to me.” …

Offline rewh2oman

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Re: ~The voice in his thoughts.~ A hashing Question.
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2010, 02:44:06 PM »
~The voice in his thoughts.~
 P.S. What is the proper name for this mark? (~)

Tilde


Offline kk

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Re: ~The voice in his thoughts.~ A hashing Question.
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2010, 02:48:40 PM »
I'm glad you brought this up Skip. I am having a similar problem with my current work in progress, so your thoughts are helpful.

From the section you've shown below, the ~ you've used works very well. The point you made about consistency is the key I think. As long as you do the same thing throughout the whole body of work readers will 'get it.'  My experience when reading work that is different from something I've seen before is
that I get used to the format/style/whatever after a few pages, as long as it's consistent.

I have the same question as you - what is that mark ~ and what does it mean? Unless it has some very narrow purpose I think you're good to go.

Now I'll have to go back and experiment with my own project and see if I can come up with a solution  ;D

kk
“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.”

                                                                            ~ Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Offline kk

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Re: ~The voice in his thoughts.~ A hashing Question.
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2010, 02:53:41 PM »
rewh2oman,

Thanks for the name. I googled it and found some interesting information.

Wikipedia led me to another word and I've added the link below, Skip. Might
be another option - the guillemet.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guillemets
“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.”

                                                                            ~ Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: ~The voice in his thoughts.~ A hashing Question.
« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2010, 03:30:46 PM »
Thank you both, I'm heading over there now to scope it out.  ;D

EDIT:
Okay, I like what I read. If placed over a single letter, the Tilde changes the pitch of said letter, then returns to normal tone.

The other part I liked is, when found in a dictionary, the Tilde represents the omitting of the subject word in the sentence that shows that words usage.

So by stretching the two meanings and combining them into one, we can get the CHANGE in communication and OMITTING of actual voice. maybe.  ???
« Last Edit: June 10, 2010, 04:05:01 PM by Skip Slocum »

Offline rewh2oman

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Re: ~The voice in his thoughts.~ A hashing Question.
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2010, 04:05:22 PM »
Hi Skip

I have no idea if there’s an Industry standard or any common practices for which you’re asking. However, I do agree with KK that if you’re consistent and are able to convey to the Reader your telepathy conversations, I say, “go for it!”

Afterall, this is your book.

…russ

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: ~The voice in his thoughts.~ A hashing Question.
« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2010, 04:15:34 PM »
I'm nodding Russ, thank you. So far everyone I've asked has said it looked fine to them.

Offline Gyppo

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Re: ~The voice in his thoughts.~ A hashing Question.
« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2010, 05:12:13 PM »
I like it too, Skip.  It lets the reader know what's going in, and isn't intrusive.  If at some later stage a publisher wants to change the telepathy sections to a different font, which is one way of doing it, they will have no trouble because your consistent use of the tilde will tell them when to stop and start.  As long as you don't use it anywhere else in the book for a different purpose, which seems unlikely, all should be well.

If the worst happens an some publisher asks you to change your copy to another symbol then once again, because of consistency, Find & Replace should make the changeover pretty painless.

Nice one ;-)

BTW, I like that little bit of telepathic dialogue.  You've managed to convey Matt's mingled unease and bewilderment in just a few words, and his Grandad's amused understanding as well.

Gyppo
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Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: ~The voice in his thoughts.~ A hashing Question.
« Reply #8 on: June 10, 2010, 06:31:10 PM »
Thank you Sir Gyppo, so far 100% ayes.  ;D