Author Topic: The Talisman of Prytani  (Read 4994 times)

Offline aelfwin

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Re: The Talisman of Prytani
« Reply #15 on: February 03, 2006, 07:05:55 AM »
Hiya Pet_Dog, Thanks for the feedback. Good job. I overlooked the blunder about the grass, :o  great that you caught it. Thats what makes critiques so valuable to a writer. Also I hadn't thought about the imagery being incosistent with the prior image of greens and browns. Another very good nit. I'll take a long look at paragraph three. Yes there shoudl be a comma after earthtime and finally, you, Orchid and a couple others have commented on the pact. It is weak. Many changes will be made in the rewrite. Those you and Orchid have mentioned will be used. When I get a good crit, I usually copy to word, print it, highlight the changes I agree with and put it in the folder with the draft. Then when I rewrite, i't all there.  ;D Thanks again, Aelf