Author Topic: Jane Austen had it easy (POV problem yet again)  (Read 4331 times)

CCRP

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Re: Jane Austen had it easy (POV problem yet again)
« Reply #15 on: March 22, 2010, 10:36:58 AM »
Like, Wolfe, that's like so totally not my genre.  ::)

 :D

Wolfe

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Re: Jane Austen had it easy (POV problem yet again)
« Reply #16 on: March 22, 2010, 12:31:20 PM »
LOL - Like whatever, gurl.

Wolfe

CCRP

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Re: Jane Austen had it easy (POV problem yet again)
« Reply #17 on: March 22, 2010, 01:42:33 PM »
 ;D

Offline Xerika

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Re: Jane Austen had it easy (POV problem yet again)
« Reply #18 on: March 22, 2010, 06:10:24 PM »
If MacFarland is the one using the nicknames in both instances, you'll probably get away with it as a kind of character trait.

If not, it may be overkill and you would want to find another device.

Don. Unfortunately, it isn't MacFarland using the nicknames on the other occasion so, as you say, I need another device. Speaking of which, I see Wolfe has some suggestions...

Wolfe. Thank you for your detailed response:

1. There seems to be a consensus that using the nickname device more than once is a no-no.

2. I can see how the first person POV would help in many such cases, but I'm not sure I can apply it in this particular WIP.

3. Again, I can see how idiosyncrasies in the dialogue of individual characters can be a useful device to fix certain POV problems. (How could I fail to, given your splendid example.  ;)) However, the particular scene which is causing me so much grief has MacFarland observing Trevor from a distance, so there is no direct contact between them and hence no shared dialogue.

Perhaps I should stick with the nickname method in this scene and try to find a different device for the other one. '3' might possibly work in that scene if not in this.

A.J.B. Thank you for planting the image of a wolf in cheerleader's clothing in my brain. I doubt I'll be able to sleep for several nights to come.  ;D

Nelodra. Have you ever seen the UK sketch show, Little Britain? If you haven't, it's well worth checking out. There's a teenage girl character in it (played by a man of course because it's a British show  ;)) called Vicky Pollard... "Like, yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah but no but..." etc.

http://rob-johnson.org.uk/ - writing, podcasting and reluctant olive farming

"I'd Rather Eat My Own Face" podcast. The truth about olive harvesting. http://wp.me/p2bC2C-8U

"If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it." - Elmore Leonard

CCRP

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Re: Jane Austen had it easy (POV problem yet again)
« Reply #19 on: March 22, 2010, 06:20:42 PM »
Nelodra. Have you ever seen the UK sketch show, Little Britain? If you haven't, it's well worth checking out. There's a teenage girl character in it (played by a man of course because it's a British show  ;)) called Vicky Pollard... "Like, yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah but no but..." etc.

I've seen one or two Little Britain sketches, perhaps. My daughter likes to watch them, and sometimes forces me to come and watch with her. I'm not a TV kind of person. I like books.  :)

Wolfe

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Re: Jane Austen had it easy (POV problem yet again)
« Reply #20 on: March 22, 2010, 11:02:45 PM »
You snagged on a scenario authors avoid with this rule: never allow your protagonist to be alone.

Bet you know why now.  :D

Ironically, I know an author whose heroine speaks to her hamster to avoid this problem. Introspection in fiction signals zero action. And zero action means zero tension, zero drama, and zero conflict.

Those areas get the blue-pencil treatment.

That may be your underlying problem.

Wolfe
« Last Edit: March 22, 2010, 11:34:15 PM by Wolfe »

Offline Xerika

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Re: Jane Austen had it easy (POV problem yet again)
« Reply #21 on: March 23, 2010, 01:46:06 PM »
Thanks for the further input, Wolfe, although I can see that my response to your earlier comments was ambiguous.

Even though there is no direct contact or shared dialogue between MacFarland and Trevor, MacFarland isn't actually alone in this scene. He and another character are both watching 'the guy in the fleece' (Trevor) collect a package from a locker. They are surprised - and somewhat concerned - because they'd been expecting someone else (a woman) to make the collection.

Consequently, I don't think that introspection is the underlying problem here, and there's also a wee bit of tension and drama in the way that MacFarland and his pal react to Trevor's arrival.

Sorry. I should probably have given a bit more detail in my original post.

P.S. I assume Janet Evanovich is the author whose heroine talks to her hamster. My Trevor character has a dog, and he talks to her frequently.  :)

http://rob-johnson.org.uk/ - writing, podcasting and reluctant olive farming

"I'd Rather Eat My Own Face" podcast. The truth about olive harvesting. http://wp.me/p2bC2C-8U

"If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it." - Elmore Leonard

Wolfe

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Re: Jane Austen had it easy (POV problem yet again)
« Reply #22 on: March 23, 2010, 07:06:33 PM »
It's all good. ;)

Let us know what worked best for you.

And don't tell Janet I dimed her out . . . again. :)

Wolfe

Offline WordBird

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Re: Jane Austen had it easy (POV problem yet again)
« Reply #23 on: March 29, 2010, 03:19:24 PM »
Well, I just moved out of my comfort zone a little and purchased a book by Janet E.

Not because I'm following Wolfe's advice, of course, but because I like hamsters.  ;D