Author Topic: biography  (Read 2000 times)

twisted wheel

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biography
« on: February 21, 2010, 08:15:47 AM »
the bleached spine
hides its name

and stains
discolour
its image


the pages
are torn
creased
and thumbed

from over-use
and abuse


now
it gathers
dust

and waits
to be
recycled

Offline Biola

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Re: biography
« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2010, 10:19:20 AM »
Wow! Daryl,
Had to read quickly a second time before the penny dropped that it was about a book. Good poem Daryl, very nice and paints a picture of a much loved, used, and abused book that  now is ready to be used again in another way when recycled. Learnt a lot from it and it gave me a deeper meaning. For life, love and things can follow that same cycle. Thanks a lot. Gave me food for thought and it was still simple and beautiful.
biola
we learn every day if we want. check my blog http://biola-ephesus-ephesus.blogspot.com, Ephesus@Wordpress.com
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Offline Vienna

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Re: biography
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2010, 10:49:02 AM »
Daryl mate you did it again! A master of the short sharp verse.
Just a well-read punk peasant

Going to church makes you a christian as much as standing in a garage makes you a car!

Offline Gyppo

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Re: biography
« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2010, 12:23:11 PM »
I'm not going to analyse it.  I just like it.  First impression was good and now, reading it again after a few hours, I still like it.

Gyppo
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CCRP

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Re: biography
« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2010, 12:46:05 PM »
Good one, Daryl.

I love the irony in it.

twisted wheel

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Re: biography
« Reply #5 on: February 21, 2010, 04:54:00 PM »
thanks biola, vienna, gyppo and nel.

Offline Bobby

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Re: biography
« Reply #6 on: February 21, 2010, 05:28:32 PM »
Loved it. That's all.

Offline DIZI

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Re: biography
« Reply #7 on: February 21, 2010, 05:39:15 PM »
Add me to the like it very much list.
Well done.

twisted wheel

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Re: biography
« Reply #8 on: February 23, 2010, 07:39:32 AM »
thanks bobby and dizi

Offline Mark H

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Re: biography
« Reply #9 on: February 23, 2010, 05:25:27 PM »
Daryl

IMO it is good, but not finished. Some things to think about.

1) You are mixing the metaphor in with the thing it's representing, e.g. name/title. Not good.

2) "Hides" I think is the wrong word because it suggest being covered or out of sight. If the spine hid the name, what impact would bleaching it have?

3) As with name/title, I feel something wrong with "image".

Mark
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If poetry is not your thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PueM04F0Qz8 or: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0Zm8cj9MGg

twisted wheel

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Re: biography
« Reply #10 on: February 23, 2010, 05:33:47 PM »
thanks mark - sensible suggestions for me to look into.  8)

Offline drab

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Re: biography
« Reply #11 on: February 23, 2010, 08:25:14 PM »
Hi Daryl,
Must confess on first reading I immediately thought of an old girlie magazine, (no, not one full of naked elderly ladies) 'thumbed, over-use and abuse' were the key words my dirty mind latched onto. The owner, now too old to enjoy it, watches it and himself fade with time.
It appeals to us on many levels (mine being the lowest) and really is a wonderful piece.
Well done.
drab
To live, with gentle but cunning deceit, and accept the consequences, is the destiny of every man.

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: biography
« Reply #12 on: February 23, 2010, 09:13:44 PM »
Daryl, you could have been talking about the first full sized dictionary I ever bought for myself - except for the ending. I doubt I'll ever give it up for the recycle bin.

Thanks for an enjoyable poem.
MWC Charity Publications.
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight>
The universe is made of stories, not of atoms. -Muriel Rukeyser, poet and activist (15 Dec 1913-1980)

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I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.
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