Author Topic: d  (Read 3115 times)

Offline calamity

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d
« on: February 15, 2010, 06:45:08 AM »
 d
« Last Edit: June 23, 2011, 08:23:54 AM by calamity »

Offline hanabichan

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Re: Just a bit of a rant
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2010, 08:32:26 AM »
Why should I?  It'd be pointless anyways.

Just kidding!


But...

On a note that's a tad more serious, what kind of a review were you hoping for if I may ask.

I'd look at it differently if it were going to used in a context of a story, but as a blog post or a tweet, it works the way it is.

I'd find a way to cut the third sentence into two sentences because it runs on, but that's about it.
Laziness has settled in, so no... it isn't purple.

Offline Vienna

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Re: Just a bit of a rant
« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2010, 08:34:07 AM »
well, it isn't even really a rant is it? For me a rant is powerful, funny, raging, angry among other things. This is a sad "piece" full of self-pity, pretty depressing.
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Offline darrellj

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Re: Just a bit of a rant
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2010, 08:50:34 AM »
Hi ,
I'm not sure why you posted this piece here and not in the poetry section?
Obviously I know it's not a poem but with a few adjustment's  it  could be.
Or are you just dipping your toe in the site because your a bit nervous of the feed back you'll get?.

I'm very new to this site myself and my advice to you is for your first couple of attempts go all out and write a bigger peice maybe a part of a story or anything you've written before or are thinking of writing,
give it your 100 percent all and let the chips fall where they may.
You'll find that you will get a lot more help if people see your trying your best.
For my part I can't spell very well and my grammer is awful but I take peoples comment seriously and i'm getting a hell of a lot from this site, I hope you will too ,
Keep on trucking my freind ;D
pretend your talking to someone educated in the Penal system,
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Offline darrellj

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Re: Just a bit of a rant
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2010, 08:54:28 AM »
No life is pointless,you have to go through the bad times to appreciate the good time when they come ;)
pretend your talking to someone educated in the Penal system,
In fact don't pretend.

Offline John Yamrus

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Re: Just a bit of a rant
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2010, 09:07:55 AM »
Im not very happy with my current situation, so i blurted out my feelings and made it rather short, but i feel it conveys how i feel.\

thanks for reviewing :)

if this conveys how you feel, then you don't need a review...truthfully, there's really nothing to review here.  it isn't a short story.  it isn't a poem.  it isn't a prose poem.  it's nothing.  if you ever DO write something that takes the reader from point A to point B, then you'll get a proper review.  this starts out at point B...and sits there:  "oh, woe is me...my life sucks...what's the point?"
there is none.
john
Since 1970 John's published 2 novels, 18 books of poetry, and had more than 1,300 poems published in mags around the world.   His new book, (his 20TH) called CAN'T STOP NOW! is available here:

http://www.epicrites.org/

Offline A.J.B

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Re: Just a bit of a rant
« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2010, 09:38:40 AM »
As John says above, there really is nothing anyone can review.

This isn't a story, a short story, a blurb, a synopsis, a piece of microfiction or anything that I would say anyone could review with any great accuracy.

It is one persons philosophical opinion on life.

I think it would be more suited to the gallery or the coffee shop than the review board. As how can we really review an opinion without getting into an arguement of sorts.

PS

We do exist.
My debut novel 'Life Eternal' is now available to buy on Amazon in both paperback and kindle.

Please search 'Aaron J Booth' on Amazon to find the product.

Offline John Yamrus

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Re: Just a bit of a rant
« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2010, 11:38:44 AM »
okay, let's look at this piece of crap objectively...at least for as long as we can stand it...

Why even try? It's all pointless anyway. Death is inevitable, (there should be a period here, not a comma)  you can try and fill the space in between with anything you want and call it life, but the inevitability is that we are all just on the same road, heading for the same place, and that place is a null void( the phrase is NULL AND VOID...a null void is absolutely meaningless), it does not exist. We do not exist. Nothing is real. We do not exist (this goes back to Descartes and philosophy 101..."i think, therefore i am.").  so, in short, let's see something that has an actual beginning, middle and end.  
« Last Edit: February 16, 2010, 12:45:16 PM by John Yamrus »
Since 1970 John's published 2 novels, 18 books of poetry, and had more than 1,300 poems published in mags around the world.   His new book, (his 20TH) called CAN'T STOP NOW! is available here:

http://www.epicrites.org/

Offline darrellj

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Re: Just a bit of a rant
« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2010, 11:46:11 AM »
John you just beat me to the punch!
I was about to say the exact same thing,
Honest ;D
pretend your talking to someone educated in the Penal system,
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memnoch

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Re: Just a bit of a rant
« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2010, 05:41:36 PM »
hmmmmmmm. Not sure what the purpose of this is and I think putting it in the Review My Work section was a bad plan. This doesn't seem to come under the heading of rant for me, a rant tends to be long and (if written) eloquent.
An example of eloquent ranting would be any episode of Blackadder and Dr.Cox in the earlier seasons of scrubs!

I'm not sure if this is supposed to be ironic melodrama, melodrama or just bad.

any thoughts?

Offline John Yamrus

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Re: Just a bit of a rant
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2010, 05:44:59 PM »

I'm not sure if this is supposed to be ironic melodrama, melodrama or just bad.

any thoughts?

it's not supposed to be anything...that operates under the assumption that this person put some thought into this supposed "rant".  no, it's just plain bad.
« Last Edit: February 16, 2010, 07:05:24 PM by John Yamrus »
Since 1970 John's published 2 novels, 18 books of poetry, and had more than 1,300 poems published in mags around the world.   His new book, (his 20TH) called CAN'T STOP NOW! is available here:

http://www.epicrites.org/

memnoch

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Re: Just a bit of a rant
« Reply #11 on: February 16, 2010, 06:06:06 PM »
hmmmm i concur.

Offline A.J.B

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Re: Just a bit of a rant
« Reply #12 on: February 17, 2010, 08:06:14 AM »
it's not supposed to be anything...that operates under the assumption that this person put some thought into this supposed "rant".  no, it's just plain bad.

Whatever poor soul broke the seal on the poetry forum and unleashed you into the world of prose will be shunned and cursed for many years to come, of that I have no doubt.

I for one wish laud him! Your frank honesty is what we need.
My debut novel 'Life Eternal' is now available to buy on Amazon in both paperback and kindle.

Please search 'Aaron J Booth' on Amazon to find the product.

Offline John Yamrus

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Re: Just a bit of a rant
« Reply #13 on: February 17, 2010, 08:52:14 AM »
Whatever poor soul broke the seal on the poetry forum and unleashed you into the world of prose will be shunned and cursed for many years to come, of that I have no doubt.

I for one wish laud him! Your frank honesty is what we need.

thank you, very very much.  you made what already is a good day into an even better day.  i'm sitting here, waiting for the mail to come, hoping that it finally contains the advance copies of my new book, DOING CARTWHEELS ON DOOMSDAY AFTERNOON.  it won't be officially out till March 1st, but the publisher put some copies in the mail for me.  i can't wait.  while this will be my 19th book, it never gets old.
yes!
john
« Last Edit: February 17, 2010, 09:01:16 AM by John Yamrus »
Since 1970 John's published 2 novels, 18 books of poetry, and had more than 1,300 poems published in mags around the world.   His new book, (his 20TH) called CAN'T STOP NOW! is available here:

http://www.epicrites.org/

Offline A.J.B

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Re: Just a bit of a rant
« Reply #14 on: February 17, 2010, 09:46:05 AM »
Congratulations!

I am still awaiting to hear back from a publishing house and an agent about my first.

I shall not lead this topic off track any further.
My debut novel 'Life Eternal' is now available to buy on Amazon in both paperback and kindle.

Please search 'Aaron J Booth' on Amazon to find the product.