Author Topic: Poetry Challenge #34 Something Old, Something New  (Read 13220 times)

Offline Mark H

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Re: STICKY: Poetry Challenge #34 Something Old, Something New
« Reply #15 on: January 18, 2010, 06:33:12 PM »
Post it anyway.
Buy Bristle Side Down, The Man Who Wore Brown Shoes and Middleclass Machismo here:
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If poetry is not your thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PueM04F0Qz8 or: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0Zm8cj9MGg

Offline eric

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Re: STICKY: Poetry Challenge #34 Something Old, Something New
« Reply #16 on: January 18, 2010, 07:26:28 PM »
It was up for awhile, will put it back up in the Workshop later.  Too many folks were referring to it as an example, the example should be Ali's poem on the wiki page linked to repeatedly here, which please see for guidance on form.  or ask me and we'll make up set forth the official comp rule on the matter in question
« Last Edit: January 21, 2010, 12:21:40 PM by eric »

Offline hanabichan

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Re: STICKY: Poetry Challenge #34 Something Old, Something New
« Reply #17 on: January 18, 2010, 11:43:23 PM »
My head hurts just from reading the rules of the Ghazal.

But this does sound like fun.
Laziness has settled in, so no... it isn't purple.

Offline Mark H

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Re: STICKY: Poetry Challenge #34 Something Old, Something New
« Reply #18 on: January 19, 2010, 03:51:03 AM »
your magic

I only had time for quick read, but that raises a question. I thought L1 and L2 must have the refrain?

M
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twisted wheel

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Re: STICKY: Poetry Challenge #34 Something Old, Something New
« Reply #19 on: January 19, 2010, 04:33:30 AM »
and what about meter? in the example it is hexameter - or does it vary?

Offline Vienna

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Just a well-read punk peasant

Going to church makes you a christian as much as standing in a garage makes you a car!

Offline eric

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Re: STICKY: Poetry Challenge #34 Something Old, Something New
« Reply #21 on: January 19, 2010, 09:08:39 AM »
Daryl, each line has the same meter, whatever that is.  As I read this one there are seven feet, is that a heptameter?  I tried anyway. (Since your comment I've cleaned them up some.)  You could use any line length, probably pentameter up.  We don't have a rule about it.

Mark, I need to study the refrains in the first two lines and get back. Don't use this one for your example, though, use the one by Ali.  

I see you are right about the radif on each of the first two lines (thanks Vienna):

The second line of each couplet (or sher) in a ghazal usually ends with the repetition of a refrain of one or a few words, known as a radif, preceded by a rhyme known as the qaafiyaa. In Arabic, Persian and Turkic the couplet is termed a bayt and the line within the bayt is called a misra. In the first couplet, both lines end in the rhyme and refrain so that the ghazal's rhyme scheme is AA BA CA etc.

I will change mine if I can.  Oops, that was easy.  Switched "hell" to "shell" ...
« Last Edit: January 20, 2010, 06:20:34 PM by eric »

twisted wheel

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Re: STICKY: Poetry Challenge #34 Something Old, Something New
« Reply #22 on: January 19, 2010, 09:28:24 AM »
ok

Offline eric

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Re: STICKY: Poetry Challenge #34 Something Old, Something New
« Reply #23 on: January 19, 2010, 09:38:23 AM »
heh, I thought if we like these "simple" ghazals, maybe some of us could try another round off-comp with more details (requirements?) as to meter, etc., and the  subject matter and theme.  I don't know.   :P

Offline eric

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Re: STICKY: Poetry Challenge #34 Something Old, Something New
« Reply #24 on: January 19, 2010, 09:55:28 AM »
Ours are likely to be not as elegant and musical (flowing) as ones by the great writers, and theirs are also going to have much more complicated meter.  Interesting to see what Mark does.

Offline Akeith (Gray)

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Re: STICKY: Poetry Challenge #34 Something Old, Something New
« Reply #25 on: January 19, 2010, 12:27:38 PM »
This is making my head hurt = I'm not very good at all with this form.

eric, thanks for posting an example. By doing so, it has helped me a lot. I like your poem.

Offline eric

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Re: STICKY: Poetry Challenge #34 Something Old, Something New
« Reply #26 on: January 19, 2010, 01:27:28 PM »
also check out the poem by Ali, an acclaimed writer who lived and taught in America prior to a premature death ... he was really great. There's a link to a wiki page that has it in my intro and I will repeat it here.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghazal  

Just think of this as a simple group of short, unconnected poems with regular meter and those rhymes and refrains.  The couplets may or may not have a similar theme, they don't have to.
« Last Edit: January 19, 2010, 01:29:25 PM by eric »

Offline eric

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Re: STICKY: Poetry Challenge #34 Something Old, Something New
« Reply #27 on: January 19, 2010, 01:57:38 PM »
But thinking it through, Gray ... you might very well want to do a normal free-verse poem ... I really liked some of your recent love-oriented ones.  I think some of the non-ghazals are likely to prove very popular with the voters.

Offline Akeith (Gray)

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Re: STICKY: Poetry Challenge #34 Something Old, Something New
« Reply #28 on: January 19, 2010, 02:28:52 PM »
I agree eric...I'm not disciplined or talented enough for this, I think. I'll see what I can do. Thanks for the good advice.

twisted wheel

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Re: STICKY: Poetry Challenge #34 Something Old, Something New
« Reply #29 on: January 19, 2010, 04:10:15 PM »
I agree eric...I'm not disciplined or talented enough for this, I think. I'll see what I can do. Thanks for the good advice.

i'm only gonna say this once - talk to yourself. NOT TALENTED? come on gray - you and me are gonna push the boat out and have a blast. 8)