Author Topic: A bit of a cock up on the parenting front (Some swearing)  (Read 2357 times)

Offline Linda Aitchison

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A bit of a cock up on the parenting front (Some swearing)
« on: January 05, 2010, 04:46:39 PM »
I just thought I'd post this as it's quite a recent blog post from www.gotyourhandsfull.com and readers very much enjoyed it.
All the best.

LAST week, I was the featured 'favourite mummy blogger' on MyChild.

One question asked was "What is your most overused parenting expression?"

As I told Emily I'd been interviewed, I quizzed her on what she thought my answer was.

She said: "Is it dickhead?"

I protested that I never said such a thing.

"You do when you are driving," she told me, laughing.

It reminded me of the time my friend Alison rang me, distraught after I'd looked after her son for the day.

She said she'd reprimanded her three-year-old for calling someone 'stupid'.

"We don't say people are stupid, that's not a very nice thing to say," Alison had pointed out.

"And neither is for fuck's sake," her son replied.

Of course I got the blame. Done up like a kipper.

At our most recent birthday bash, one little girl was in my car and I said: "You haven't been in here before, have you sweetheart?"

She said: "Oh yes, you told me to shit the door."

Instead of glossing over this most regrettable of episodes, we spent the rest of the journey creased up at the possibilities for mental images conjured up. This is evidently pretty entertaining when you are 11.

Mums are supposed to say 'There, there...and Goodness me...' not unleash an expletive-filled road rage rant or widen the vocabulary of friends' children with corkers they'd rather they never heard. Aren't they?

I know swearing is not big and it's not clever. If I do hear my girls letting rip with a rude word or two, I will always point out the error of their ways.

But still, I have been known to swear just a little bit in front of my daughters and (the horror) their little friends  - just like my mum did in front of me.
If my daughters were to swear they are told off in a definite case of 'do as I say, not as I do'. I'm fully aware of the hypocrisy of the situation.

But I guess, in the scheme of things, I can't believe it matters all that much - certainly not as much as loving them and doing the best I can for them, even if I'm the one who needs to wash her mouth out with soap.

Also, my mum is worse, I promise. And I turned out okay, didn't I.... ?

By the way, if anyone wants to disagree with me, they can sod right off.*

* Oh you know what I mean.

<a href="http://www.freelancewritingtips.com">"Currently updating and adding to my book on freelance writing</a>

Offline Tina

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Re: A bit of a cock up on the parenting front (Some swearing)
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2010, 10:59:38 PM »
 :D :D :D ;D :)

Offline Gyppo

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Re: A bit of a cock up on the parenting front (Some swearing)
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2010, 01:30:14 AM »
My Lady - as was then - asked her little lad to do something and he said "Bollocks!", with real feeling and intent..  She slapped him.  He looked utterly bewildered and said, plaintively, "Mister Gorilla says it and you don't slap him."

"John's a grown up.  And he doesn't say it when I ask him to do things.  He may say no sometimes, but he doesn't say bollocks to me."

=====

There was a little lad up the road who had been out playing with some of the bigger boys.  keeping this in perspective they were only in the 5-7 age group, whereas he was four and just about tolerated because he was someone's little brother.  When he came back in his mum told him off for dragging mud into the house.

He stuck his little chest out, bristling with defiance, gave her an evil stare, and snarled - insofar as one can snarl with a little boy treble - "Lub up lu luddy lod!"

=====

Gyppo
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Offline Linda Aitchison

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Re: A bit of a cock up on the parenting front (Some swearing)
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2010, 04:17:12 AM »
Love it. Or lub it.
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MrsButler

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Re: A bit of a cock up on the parenting front (Some swearing)
« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2010, 07:31:36 AM »
Linda,

I have three daughters and one son, but my 10 year old daughter (Izzy) is the funniest!

She once watched two women kissing on Corrie and turned to me confused, "Are those two women vegetarians mum?" :o

My brothers are twins............ Izzy asked me one day "Are they tropical twins?" I think she meant identicle!

Last but not least she returned from school the other day, "I had a prostitution today...."
She meant a presentation.

Kids are classic!!!!


Alison (Mrs B)

Offline Wistful

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Re: A bit of a cock up on the parenting front (Some swearing)
« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2010, 04:52:19 PM »
Outstanding car swearing.

Glad to see it's not just me who gets in trouble. I didn't even realise I swore in the car until a couple of years ago, when my little girl was in reception. When I picked her up from school her teacher took me to one side and asked for a word. The class had been doing phonics and children were giving examples of different letters. When it came to 'f' Harriet put up her hand and shouted 'fuck'.
The teacher said 'No that's not a word'.
Harriet replied, 'Well it is, because my mum says it all the time in the car on the way to school.'

Offline Gyppo

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Re: A bit of a cock up on the parenting front (Some swearing)
« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2010, 06:29:34 PM »
My ex father in law was driving along one day with his then eight year old lad in the car.  Someone cut in and as Pat jammed on the brakes little Chris stuck his head out through the open window, flipped a 'V' and piped in his little treble voice "Are you tired of fuckin' livin' you bloody moron?"

An interesting side note.  Pat swore a lot whist driving, routine cursing at or about nearly every other road user, but I was in the car with him the day we got hit by a runaway horse box which centre punched his car with the towbar.  I expected some really pungent linguistic artistry, but he quietly checked everyone else in the car was okay got out, looked at the damage, made a rollie before his hands started to shake, and then mildly asked the other driver "What's going on, Mate?"

Gyppo
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Offline Linda Aitchison

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Re: A bit of a cock up on the parenting front (Some swearing)
« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2010, 01:49:12 AM »
Fabulous.
Or should I say: Fuckin' fabulous.
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Offline hanabichan

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Re: A bit of a cock up on the parenting front (Some swearing)
« Reply #8 on: January 25, 2010, 10:32:30 PM »
One thing I will admit.

The first time I clicked on this thread it was because the Latest Post portion displayed:

Latest Response by <Name>
Re: A bit of cock up o...

And I was like "What?".  Oh my dirty mind...  Time to get the soap.
Laziness has settled in, so no... it isn't purple.