Crikey mate, you wos spot on and bonzer except that - strike a light I gotta dissolution you on one point - I'm a sheila.
Gyppo, have you been watching too many movies or do you have personal experience of this sunburnt county? (Which, BTW, due to influence of far away cyclone Laurence is lacking on the sunburnt bit - very wet in the Western Plains, boggy in fact.)
Have yet to explore beyond this thread. I know how absorbing forums can be and am resisting plunging in. 
It did cross my my mind that you might be of the female persuasion, and I was going to allude to this possibility, but I got side-tracked by the beeping from my smoke alarm and just hit [send] before investigating the cause of aforementioned beep.
No, no personal experience of the broad brown land. However, Dad was there during WW2 for a while and brought back a fair batch of tales. Including one about a strapping great bull-dyke of a crane operator they met in a sailor's bar. She challenged a group of British Matelots to a drinking contest, and by the end of the evening, with prodigious amounts of rum and beer having been consumed, she and Dad were the only two left standing. Both being skint by then they tried to settle it by arm wrestling, and drew on that as well. Dad was quite a short little fellow, but stokers on coal-fired ships had real muscles. Although he admitted it was close-run thing, on both drinking and arm-wrestling. She helped him load his mates into a taxi and they dropped her off en-route to the ship.
BTW, the beeping alarm was a low battery warning, not a portent of a sudden conflagration.
Gyppo
PS: You ought to visit the MWC bar. Hiding behind/within the Coffee Shop thread, where you will often find one of our other resident 'convicts', a lass called FireFly, proppping up the bar.
