Author Topic: frustration (profanity)  (Read 10978 times)

Offline Victor

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frustration (profanity)
« on: August 17, 2009, 10:18:06 AM »
Removed due to language and lack of any poetic worth.
« Last Edit: October 29, 2013, 01:11:58 PM by Alice, a Country Gal »
And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. -ECCLESIASTES 1:17

Offline Mark H

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Re: frustration
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2009, 10:44:54 AM »
I'm not a big fan of rhyming poetry but this works well.
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Offline eric

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Re: frustration
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2009, 10:46:20 AM »
heh heh Mark.   :D

last line seems a bit telly to me ...

Offline Victor

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Re: frustration
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2009, 10:56:52 AM »
Quote
last line seems a bit telly to me ...

perhaps, should I change it to 'a mound of smouldering turd' ?  ;D
And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. -ECCLESIASTES 1:17

Offline eric

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Re: frustration
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2009, 10:58:36 AM »
turd seems a little telly to me ...

Offline Victor

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Re: frustration
« Reply #5 on: August 17, 2009, 11:36:08 AM »
maybe I should  engage all the five senses ?

sight, smell, touch, sound........and......err...........taste.?

 ;D
« Last Edit: August 17, 2009, 11:37:50 AM by Victor »
And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. -ECCLESIASTES 1:17

Offline Akeith (Gray)

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Re: frustration
« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2009, 12:16:05 PM »
This is funny. I'd leave out "taste" but that's just me.  :D

Offline eric

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Re: frustration
« Reply #7 on: August 17, 2009, 12:18:49 PM »
taste.  interesting ... but "eat shit, eric" would still be a little telly, don't you think?  heh heh.  very good job.

Offline Victor

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Re: frustration
« Reply #8 on: August 18, 2009, 11:00:40 AM »
thanks gray.... ;D

eric...thank you, too....don't ask me 'for what' ? ;D
And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. -ECCLESIASTES 1:17

Offline eric

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Re: frustration
« Reply #9 on: August 18, 2009, 11:03:01 AM »
you better thank Mark or he'll pout

Offline Victor

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Re: frustration
« Reply #10 on: August 18, 2009, 11:06:35 AM »
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you better thank Mark or he'll pout

that second clause scares me....so yeah, thank you too, Mark  :D
And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. -ECCLESIASTES 1:17

Offline Mark H

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Re: frustration
« Reply #11 on: August 18, 2009, 12:41:10 PM »
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you better thank Mark or he'll pout

or worse ... weave you into a story, a horror story, a story where you get turned into a 40 something housewife with varicose veins.
Buy Bristle Side Down, The Man Who Wore Brown Shoes and Middleclass Machismo here:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?contributorId=570142

If poetry is not your thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PueM04F0Qz8 or: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0Zm8cj9MGg

Offline Sleepy Sally

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Re: frustration
« Reply #12 on: August 22, 2009, 07:16:04 AM »
All poetry when so straight foward like this, sounds cool when it's short.
So this is pretty perfect, and all thanks to two types of curse words... I ddn't even know this was possible lol
;)

Offline Jade

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Re: frustration
« Reply #13 on: August 22, 2009, 09:22:56 AM »
Laughing myself into a frenzy..


Whahaha
Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.
Cyril Connolly

"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave." ~Mohandas Gandhi

Offline Victor

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Re: frustration
« Reply #14 on: August 22, 2009, 11:56:57 AM »
thanks for the comments, Acquaria and Jade. :)

And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. -ECCLESIASTES 1:17