Author Topic: Sophia #18...hope you are keeping up, my friends.  (Read 1364 times)

katinka

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Sophia #18...hope you are keeping up, my friends.
« on: May 17, 2006, 08:01:09 AM »
 ;) cont...knowing how her imagination took off like that sometimes.

 Dark was encroaching on the window and lights began to come on outside, it was time to leave.
“It’s time you two get on home”  Trischa said, she looked tired. Tom looked fully at Sophia for the first time since he came into the room. She saw nothing in his eyes, except that he was a stranger whom she had never met before. She had yet to prepare dinner from the precooked food that Trischa kept ready, on her tight schedule, to eat during the week.
She focused her mind completely on the subject of food, perusing the fridge in her mind, picking out what Trischa would have wanted to heat up. She would leave the dishes till morning and just go to her room.
“Night Trischa.” she said, bending over the bed, giving her a light peck on the cheek. “See you tomorrow!” she wanted to crawl in bed with her right then, but tomorrow she’d come back and stay as long as she could. She hoped  that they would release her soon, so she could stay at home with her and take care of her. Tom kissed his wife and walked after Sophia who had started down the hallway.
“She looks pretty good considering how bad the wreck was.” he said, apparently relieved. “You’re going to help take care of her?”
“Sure” she said, keeping her eyes straight ahead, feeling her heart throbbing in her head.
The ride home was quiet, and she went right to the task of making dinner, not offering a
word. She was glad that he was busy with the hospital  report and some other things that
held his attention.
Dinner was barely over, when she excused herself and went to her room. She slept fitfully waking from nightmares; yet feeling the comfort of her family near her; they never slept. The next few days passed in like manner and she began to feel safer. She was weary from waking in the night and went to bed early. Tomorrow Trischa was coming home.

It was one o’clock exactly when she awoke from a touch. The red glow of  her clock pierced the darkness, and by it’s dim, red light, she  made out the large silhouette of  Tom Forster standing by the side of her bed. His large hand covered her face, not hard but firm, she could breathe. Her eyes grew large and fear paralyzed her whole body, she couldn’t move. It was only his hand over her face that held her and not strongly. He wanted her to submit willingly, without force. He sat down on the side of her bed and reluctantly lifted his hand from her face.
“You ok?” he asked in a soft voice
“What are you doing here, please go away...!” her voice quivered with fear, she shrank
away from him.
“It’s no use, you got no place to go. We can do this easy or hard, it’s up to you.” he
stopped talking; stopped touching, and just sat.
“Please, Mr. Forster, I don’t want to do anything wrong, your wife...”
“I’m Tom.”
“Ok, Tom, but I really don’t want you to come here anymore, I want to be alone, please
don’t...”
He took her hand and guided it gently over his shirtless body, resting it high on his thigh
teasingly near the bulging warmth of his manhood, but not quite...
“Think about it...I’ll be back.”  his white teeth, bared by his grin,  were illuminated by the
red, neon  glow of the clock.  He bent down to kiss her and his lips slid off her cheeks as
she turned her head quickly away from him.
“Sophia, you’ll be wanting all of me in time.” he said in a low voice.
He got up and slid out the door, closing it softly behind him, as though practicing silence.

His light footsteps receded as he made his way up the stairs.
Trischa came home the next day and for the next three months, all of Sophia’s free time 
was taken up with caring for her. She left quickly after the evening chores were finished
and barricaded herself in her room, putting a chair under the door knob to secure it from
turning. Once safe she was content to be with her own family, reading and discussing the
time when her release came and her perfection was accomplished. She knew she was
progressing, because of all her studies and books, and the twins were happy with her
progress.
Tom had not been back and if he had, he couldn’t get in. She suspected that he had not,
because of the look in his eyes. He was the hunter and she, the game. The secretive look
he gave her every time their eyes met made her shrink and draw closer to Trisha.
Trischa got well and went back to work.
Through her needs and time spent together, she and Sophia became friends. Sophia felt the strain more deeply now, that she actually liked her, but nothing had happened  between Tom Forster and her, that she was ashamed of ;
she tried to put his visit to her room out of her mind. It had been months since that
incident and there had been opportunities for him to approach her, if he’d had a mind to.
She slacked off and left the chair in the corner now and then, beginning to forget his
promise to return. She reasoned that it was just some whim he had then, maybe some
marital problems. He spent much time on a project and was rarely around except for
dinner. She kept out of his way and he seemed not to notice her with the interest he used
to have.
The rains came down...

Offline Smiley

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Re: Sophia #18...hope you are keeping up, my friends.
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2006, 08:59:34 AM »
Hi Kat,  ;)

On the last post I noted that Tricsha was spelt wrong in a particular sentence - just noticed that this spelling is the one you are using so ignore the last comment, but if you just check through part 17 there are 2 different spellings; Trisha and Tricsha.

Part 18: Ooh, lulled into a false sense of security - I was with Sophia thinking she was safe, you've handled this situation brilliantly - a real rollercoaster.

Just a couple more little things:

“It’s time you two get got on home” 

Sophia felt the strain more deeply now(,) that she actually liked her, but nothing had happened  between Tom Forster and her(,) that she was ashamed of ;  - I dont think you need both of those commas

(oh, and theres two spellings of Tricsha again ;))

Keep it up Kat, you're doing fantastically.

Smiley :)

Smiles make the world a happier place, share yours with a stranger it could make their day.

katinka

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Re: Sophia #18...hope you are keeping up, my friends.
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2006, 11:34:39 AM »
Thanks Smiley, ;) I know I have a problem with "Trischa", have to be real careful on the second draft with that.
I had nothing like this in mind. The whole story has a life of it's own and I'm also looking forward to the end.
Glad you're hanging in.
kat

Offline takeovertarget

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Re: Sophia #18...hope you are keeping up, my friends.
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2006, 11:57:22 AM »
Hi Kat, good work.  I love your dialogue.  Just one little bit  bothered me -

“It’s no use, you got no place to go - didn't ring true - I would think he'd laugh at her telling him to go but I don't see him telling HER she had no place to go - does that make sense?

Tom had not been back and if he had, he couldn’t get in. She suspected that he had not,
  (because of the look in his eyes.)  This seems to come from nowhere  because we are talking about the door and him not returning.  So the' look'  perhaps ease that in somehow or perhaps its the word 'because'  that makes it sound wrong.

Otherwise, really good, and I'm enjoying it.  Lucy
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"  Lao-tse

katinka

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Re: Sophia #18...hope you are keeping up, my friends.
« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2006, 12:05:12 PM »
Hi Kat, good work.  I love your dialogue.  Just one little bit  bothered me -

“It’s no use, you got no place to go - didn't ring true - I would think he'd laugh at her telling him to go but I don't see him telling HER she had no place to go - does that make sense?

This one doesn't...she is stuck in his house, put there by the State, so that gives her no place to go, at least in her mind. I don't want confusion though, is it confusing when you read it in that context? 

Tom had not been back and if he had, he couldn’t get in. She suspected that he had not,
  (because of the look in his eyes.)  This seems to come from nowhere  because we are talking about the door and him not returning.  So the' look'  perhaps ease that in somehow or perhaps its the word 'because'  that makes it sound wrong.

I'm going to take a look at this one!

I am glad for the critiques, they are important to me.
Thanks, keep tuned!
kat ;)
 

sjreed56

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Re: Sophia #18...hope you are keeping up, my friends.
« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2006, 07:01:58 PM »
Kat, this is coming along very well.  The way you have played this out puts a couple idea of anticipation in my head. It will be interesting to see which way it will turn. ~ Sherry

katinka

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Re: Sophia #18...hope you are keeping up, my friends.
« Reply #6 on: May 17, 2006, 07:41:01 PM »
Not sure you know, I didn't know where it was going then but i know it now, stay tuned.
kat.