Author Topic: We Have a Winner - Challenge 52  (Read 2713 times)

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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We Have a Winner - Challenge 52
« on: July 16, 2009, 12:25:03 PM »
I am proud to introduce our Winner

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *
Amakepeace               Amakepeace          Amakepeace

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author of Lil' Red.

I have to say, I was just as glad not to be voting on these entries (since I was running the challenge). Else I would have wanted six votes. I liked and enjoyed each of the entries - all different and each tickled my fancy in a different way.

Also notable is the fact that each entry was voted on and a there was a close runner-up.  I hope the authors of the other entries will see fit to post their stories, perhaps in the gallery, so everyone can put names to the pieces they had to choose from.  :)



6. Lil' Red

Lorra stood motionless in front of the mirror, assessing last night’s damages. The bruises on her face were hideous, and the make-up she’d bought at the local shop wasn’t worth a dime. Her deep emerald eyes still looked like her own, but the dark circles under them she could do without. The only thing untouched, perfect, were the fiery curls atop her head.

Last night could have been a lot worse. Who knew family get-togethers could be so rough? But she wouldn’t have missed it for the world. She’d been waiting for that night since she could remember.

Lorra ran her delicate fingers over the tiny ridges on the back of her neck. The scars were barely visible now. She smiled, ignoring the pain that spread through her cheeks. For the first time in her life she felt alive.

“Lorra!” called her mother. “Time’s a wasting girl. I need you to get this cake over to Mr. Larry’s.”

“I’ll be there in a minute!”

She took one last glance in the mirror before darting to the closet. The gifts she’d received were overflowing from boxes and bags she’d hastily thrown onto the floor. Later she’d have to sort through them, but for today she wanted her favorite dress. The long, cotton sun dress matched the color of her eyes. She loved wearing it on long walks when the weather permitted.

The dress slid down her raised arms and over her curved frame. Like wax, it molded to the shape of her body. A sigh escaped Lorra’s lips. She loved the feel of the cotton on her skin and couldn’t resist performing a little pirouette in the middle of the room. In years past, running a cake over to Mr. Larry’s was not something to get excited over, but this year would be different.

Lorra slipped on her sandals and skipped down the stairs.

“Okay, I’m ready.”

“You’re awfully chipper today,” her mother said. “No showing off now. Mr. Larry’s not been feeling well lately.”

“Okay, Mom.”

“I mean it Lorra. Just because you’re eighteen doesn’t mean you can just go wild.”

“Mom, I know the rules.”

“Okay, just try to be back for dinner—”

Lorra grabbed the cake off the counter and dashed out the back, letting the screen door slam behind her. She could hear her mother’s irate calls as she ran down the dirt road.

*****


The walk to Mr. Larry’s took Lorra through the Bitterroot Woods, an old growth forest so thick with plant life the sun’s rays fought to reach the floor. Only enough light filtered through to see the narrow winding path that led to the old cabin. Beyond the path was a wall of vegetation, impenetrable to the eye. Wolves were thought to roam these woods. The last thing anyone would want to do is wander from the path. But every year some foolish tourist would come into town, wanting to hike the woods, never to be seen again.

The trek usually left Lorra feeling anxious, but today wonderment replaced all fear. The forest glistened and hummed with life. She watched the squirrels playing tag among the branches and listened to the birds as they tried to out-sing one another. Her senses picked out every sight, sound and smell.

“Amazing!” Lorra giggled in delight.

Half way through the walk Lorra stopped to pick flowers. While admiring their fragrance a doe and her fawn broke through the green wall. The doe stopped in the middle of the path, letting the fawn proceed to the other side. It stared at Lorra with large, gentle eyes.

Closing her eyes, Lorra breathed in the deer’s musty smell, letting it caress her senses. In her mind she could see the deer running through the forest, leaping over fallen trees. She could feel its heart beating, faster and faster. A tingling sensation began to creep over Lorra’s muscles, urging her to run, to chase. But when she opened her eyes the deer was gone.

The experience distracted Lorra long enough for her to realize the sun had begun its descent below the horizon. Darkness cast a shadow over everything. If she was going to make it home for dinner, she needed to get moving.

*****


Mr. Larry’s cabin stood on a hill at the end of the path. Its decrepit foundation, littered with cracks, caused the structure to lean slightly to the right. If it weren’t for the small light coming from the far window one might think it abandoned, but Lorra knew better. She stood rigid in front of the door, muscles tight. A bead of sweat ran down from her temple.

She knocked, Toc—toc, and heard the creaking of a bed frame from inside the cabin.

“Is that my Lil’ Red?”

Lorra’s lips curled in disgust. Mr. Larry was the only person who still called her Lil’ Red, a childhood nickname she hoped would have died by now.

“Yes, it’s me Mr. Larry. May I come in, please?” The sweeter, and more innocent, she sounded the better. Lorra didn’t want to give away her surprise too soon.

“Pull the latch and come on in dear.”

Lorra stepped inside the dusty cabin. Even with the one light she swore it was darker inside than outside. Lucky for her, she could see in any light.

“Just put the cake on the table and come sit with me a bit sweetie.”

“Okay, Mr. Larry,” she said, through clenched teeth. Lorra let the cake slip through her fingers. It landed with a thud on the floor.

The door to his bedroom lay open. Mr. Larry sat propped up in his ancient, brass iron bed. His room reeked of urine and body odor. Lorra did her best to block it out.

“Come here child,” he said, patting his hand on the dirty, filth stained mattress.

Lorra sat on the edge of bed. She didn’t look down, but she could feel Mr. Larry’s hand on her thigh. Anger boiled inside her body.

“My, my how you have grown Lorra.”

She could feel his other hand moving up her back. The anger inside her turned to hatred. Memories raced through her mind, taking her back to the first day she’d brought Mr. Larry a cake, his hands all over her small eight year old body.

“Lorra, why don’t you show Mr. Larry how much you love him.”

“First, I want to show you what I got for my birthday,” she said, and let out an ear piercing howl.

Lorra turned and crouched to face Mr. Larry, who had pushed himself against the back of the headboard, his eyes wide with fear. She wanted to look him in the face when she ripped out his throat.

The bed shook, and Lorra smelled fear staining Mr. Larry’s pants. Screams and growls erupted from her mouth, as her bones cracked and moved to shape her new body. Every muscle burned and stretched. Her dress fell from her in shreds, replaced by a thick red coat that shimmered even in the low light.

Mom won’t be happy about this, Lorra thought, as she lunged for Mr. Larry’s throat.
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Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: We Have a Winner - Challenge 52
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2009, 12:48:57 PM »
Good for you Amakepeace, I wonder what you will come up with for the next one.

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: We Have a Winner - Challenge 52
« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2009, 12:57:27 PM »
Oh, thanks for the reminder Skip - I forgot to mention that the baton now passes to Amanda.  ;)

I also failed to say Congratulations Amanda. 

(my only excuse for my memory failure was that I played around with the graphics too long.)  ;)


If you need any assistance with setting up the next challenge Amanda, I'm sure that any of the members who have done this before will be glad to help, including me.
MWC Charity Publications.
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight>
The universe is made of stories, not of atoms. -Muriel Rukeyser, poet and activist (15 Dec 1913-1980)

R. L. Copple's: http://www.rlcopple.com/

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.
-Mohandas K. Gandhi

Offline Hugh

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Re: We Have a Winner - Challenge 52
« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2009, 02:53:31 PM »
Well done, Amanda. A worthy winner.

Hugh

Offline Joe Mynhardt

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Re: We Have a Winner - Challenge 52
« Reply #4 on: July 16, 2009, 03:42:33 PM »
Amanda...  ;)

Well done. Need I say I was your close runner up.

And sorry for all the name calling in the story, folks.
There are no hidden meanings in them by the way.   :)

Well done, Amanda.

Can't wait for the next one.
Founder and CEO of Crystal Lake Publishing - Tales from the Darkest Depths.
Two time Bram Stoker Award nominated editor publishing only the best in Dark Fiction. Check out Crystal Lake's books and grab two free titles by joining the newsletter.

Offline amakepeace

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Re: We Have a Winner - Challenge 52
« Reply #5 on: July 16, 2009, 05:01:23 PM »
Yay!!  ;D

Thanks everyone. It was close there at the end Joe!!

When I saw there was a tie I began thinking about the next challenge, just in case.  ;) I will post some details soon!!

I had a lot of fun with this challenge, but I'm afraid to re-read my story. I'm sure it's riddled with errors. LOL


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Offline Flmngo

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Re: We Have a Winner - Challenge 52
« Reply #6 on: July 16, 2009, 05:48:08 PM »
Way to go Amanda...and Joe! I loved both stories.

Happy to say that I got that one vote, heh, and I didn't even vote for myself! LOL The stories were just too good.

So...since the voting is over, may I proudly redirect your attention to YouTube, if you so desire.

Le Ballet Trockadero - Swan Lake, parte deux. Men...en pointe...in white tutus. Enjoy!

~ Flmngo
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Offline amakepeace

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Re: We Have a Winner - Challenge 52
« Reply #7 on: July 16, 2009, 06:11:36 PM »
LOL That was superb!  :D

Thanks!
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Offline Don

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Re: We Have a Winner - Challenge 52
« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2009, 12:22:25 AM »
Well done, Amanda.
I have a motto: when in doubt, go for the cheap laugh.

Offline Tina

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Re: We Have a Winner - Challenge 52
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2009, 10:00:28 PM »
This is a terrific story amakepeace----Congratulations!

Offline amakepeace

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Re: We Have a Winner - Challenge 52
« Reply #10 on: July 19, 2009, 09:28:29 AM »
Thank you Don and Tina.  ;D

Be sure to take a look at Challenge #53.  ;)

http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=22223.0

I have extended the entry date by a few days.


~Amanda
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