Author Topic: Midnight Rodeo Clown Dances Downtown  (Read 1982 times)

Offline Akeith (Gray)

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Midnight Rodeo Clown Dances Downtown
« on: June 30, 2009, 06:05:19 PM »
REMOVED BY AUTHOR

...Gray...
« Last Edit: July 13, 2009, 10:25:44 AM by Gray »

Offline eric

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Re: Midnight Rodeo Clown Dances Downtown
« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2009, 06:57:47 PM »
I like this, it has a charm and insouciance, a gentleness close to your trademark, and it shows a story pretty well I think.  From what I saw of it anyway.   ::)

Offline Akeith (Gray)

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Re: Midnight Rodeo Clown Dances Downtown
« Reply #2 on: June 30, 2009, 10:10:39 PM »
Why thank you eric. How nice to hear read.

I must admit that I had to look in the dictionary for the definition of the word "insouciance". A new one for me and I like it.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Gray

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: Midnight Rodeo Clown Dances Downtown
« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2009, 10:56:57 PM »
Gray, I almost didn't read this - due entirely to the title because I generally like your work and read, even if I don't comment as often as I should.

But it was the title that put me off. No fault of yours, don't get me wrong.

It's due entirely to my aversion to the drugstore cowboy persona as opposed to the real thing - there are a few of them left.  ;)

But I'm glad I read. Your treatment of wannabe/can never be cowboy is so on target.

Thanks for the read.
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Offline Akeith (Gray)

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Re: Midnight Rodeo Clown Dances Downtown
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2009, 11:04:39 PM »
Thank you for the kind comments, Alice. You works are very encouraging to me, especially coming from a fellow Texan. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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Re: Midnight Rodeo Clown Dances Downtown
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2009, 11:48:22 PM »
This piece is very good. The description of what the rodeo clown was wearing was great. It took me back to a place to a bar where live bull riding took place. I really enjoyed that place. What I really like about this piece is the ending. I would want a free drink too if I had to witness such a spectacle.

Offline Akeith (Gray)

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Re: Midnight Rodeo Clown Dances Downtown
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2009, 11:59:03 PM »
A bar with live bull riding. Man, what a place that must have (or still is) been. I must admit a live bull event at a bar beats any of the places I've been. I just so city-bred.

Thanks for reading and commenting. I'm glad it invoked good memories for you.

Welcome to MWC, by the way.

Offline Karann

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Re: Midnight Rodeo Clown Dances Downtown
« Reply #7 on: July 01, 2009, 03:37:32 AM »

There are some very descriptive lines in this, and I got the picture well.

Like someone else's comment, the title could have put me off - it was the words:
Midnight - Clown and Dances that made me read.

Then was thinking, maybe; Midnight Clown Dances Downtown was a great line anyway.

Loved it - thanks for the read.

Offline mouselady

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Re: Midnight Rodeo Clown Dances Downtown
« Reply #8 on: July 01, 2009, 05:13:37 AM »
Gray

I like this very much - lovely images and great use of short stanzas.  Normally I don't last through poems this length, but this one kept me reading.

Just a couple of niggles: I think it's Jon Voight, not Vought?  Also, should that be 'perennial' (as in 'he's always wearing them'), or 'perennially' (as in, the jeans always are/look industrial laundered)?  I also wouldn't italicize Dolly Parton, as it doesn't appear to be dialogue.

Just being picky - I really think this is a wonderful poem.

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Offline SquarePeg

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Re: Midnight Rodeo Clown Dances Downtown
« Reply #9 on: July 02, 2009, 04:24:45 PM »
Hi Gray,
I really enjoyed this, there's a strangeness to the imagery that I dig.  The lines that really resonated for me were, "caught in its hot crawl from throat to gut", and "his saddle-horn hand"; and I like the pacing in "desert-turquoise  pearl-snap  button-down  plastic-sequin shirt  half-opened"  The only thing that seemed odd to me was the use of "taunt" with regards to the leatherneck choker.  I didn't get the context for it, and wondered if "taught" was intended, but it's possible I missed something
Very nice poem.
Peg
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