Author Topic: Miss Penny Meets Frogbert--comments please  (Read 1740 times)

Offline ZooDoc

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Miss Penny Meets Frogbert--comments please
« on: May 10, 2006, 02:48:04 PM »
(Here's a little change of pace.  A picture-book story without the pictures.  Any artists out there?)

      MISS PENNY MEETS FROGBERT

   "Curiosity killed the cat!"  That is a way of saying curiosity can sometimes get you into trouble.  It most certainly got Miss Penny Pumper-Nickel into all kinds of trouble.  And it brought her face-to-face with a very large, very fat, very green THING.

   It all began when Miss Penny's parents told her she could not play in her own back yard.  Although she lived in a very beautiful mansion, formerly owned by Mayor Tom Thompson, and although a gardener took care of the grounds, the back yard had been allowed to "go natural."  "Go jungle" is more the word for it.  Weeds.  Shrubs.  Wild plum and apple trees. and thorny blackberry vines.  You name it.  Along with lizards and fat spiders and things that go hiss! and humph! and slithering away.  And Miss Penny was so curious about it all.

   But to say that Miss Penny's curiosity got the best of her is not the same as saying that she was a bad little girl.  Hardly.   When her parents told her to do something, she always did it exactly as she was told.  Exactly!  That is why her parents were so proud of Penny.  And they were proud of her beauty, for she had such rosy pink lips and big blue eyes, with swirling long blonde hair.  Her favorite dress was of blue satin, which had white lace all around.  And a big pocket was sewn on the front.   

   What Penny did on this particular day is what every healthy boy and girl has done.  She saw the opportunity to explore her curiosity... and she explored!

   It was a sunny, blue sky Tuesday not long ago when Miss Penny got her chance.  Her father, Dr. Harold Pumper-Nickel, drove the family station wagon out to the Twixby Ranch because Marsha Twixby was having another baby.  It was also on this particular afternoon that the plump Mrs. Pumper-Nickel was very tired because she had completed her morning chores, which included preparing a delicious turkey for dinner. 

    Therefore, Penny's mom was catnapping in the living room rocker while Miss Penny was playing quietly in her room with Dolly.  This was the perfect time to explore.

   Hurry!  A sock-footed streak of blue lightning shot across the living room hardwood floor and out the back door in a silent moment.  Speeding down the spiral staircase, Miss Penny was unable to stop at the bottom, so she plunged headlong right into that back yard "jungle." 

   Well, Penny tumbled and tumbled and finally came to stop with a plop! right on top of a mound of green grass.  There she sat, rubbing her sore bottom and saying "Ouch!" and brushing cobwebs, daisies and dirt from her pretty blue dress.

   By and by, Miss Penny's dizziness went away.  And there she sat, excitedly watching all the wonderful, colorful creatures, none of which had stung her or tried to eat Miss Penny for a snack as yet.  And she began to feel happy with her experience.

But just then, as Penny was thinking such good thoughts, as she was about to return to her room satisfied with her new ex-perience, she suddenly heard a noise that threatened to ruin the whole adventure.  "What was that?" gasped Penny, looking around.   

   Before she could jump to her feet and run away, Penny again heard an awful "R-r-r-ivet" and...kerplop!  A very large, very fat, very green thing landed right in the middle of Miss Penny's lap.  And it would not move!  She was so afraid.  She just held her breath and remained as still as possible.

   After sizing up the frightful looking creature, Miss Penny realized that this was nothing more than a very large bullfrog.  Whoever saw such a thing?  "Well, Mr. Froggy," she asked,  "are you just going to sit there?"

   "R-r-r-ivet."

   "You are?"

   "R-r-r-ivet."

   "Then you must at least tell me your name."
 
   "R-r-r-ivet."

   "What a dumb froggy!  Can't you say anything but:  'R-r-r-icket'?"

   "R-r-r-i-Vet!" corrected the frog.

   "Okay, R-r-r-i-Vet!" said Miss Penny.  "Now, let me hear you say something really interesting, like:  'Hello, how are you?' or:  'My name is Mr. Froggy,' or:  'Hasta banana!'"

   "R-r-r-ivet!  R-r-r-ivet!  R-r-r-ivet!"

   Seeing that the "dumb froggy" had no intentions of doing any-thing, except enjoying the warmth of Miss Penny's lap and carrying on this ridiculous conversation, she decided to give him a proper name.  She looked down with a smile and said:  "I think I'll name you Frogbert."

"R-r-r-ivet," said Frogbert.

   Then she asked:  "Would you like to be my secret friend?"

    "R-r-r-ivet?" asked Frogbert, to the word secret.

   "Secret...because my parents would not approve of you."

(Two more segments...what kind of trouble could this precious child possibly get into?)
   
                                                                                            ZooDoc

   
« Last Edit: May 10, 2006, 02:50:32 PM by ZooDoc »
ZooDoc, "Sculptor of Words"
"Success is a little like wrestling a gorilla. You do not quit when you're tired -You quit when the gorilla is tired." -Robert Strauss

Offline ZooDoc

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Re: Miss Penny Meets Frogbert--comments please
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2006, 03:35:38 AM »
I guess nobody's interested in this children's tale enough to comment or see more segments.
ZooDoc, "Sculptor of Words"
"Success is a little like wrestling a gorilla. You do not quit when you're tired -You quit when the gorilla is tired." -Robert Strauss

sjreed56

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Re: Miss Penny Meets Frogbert--comments please
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2006, 03:53:14 AM »
Anything that starts with, Curiosity killed the cat!"  catches my eye. Okay, you got me, what kind pf trouble?

Offline Smiley

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Re: Miss Penny Meets Frogbert--comments please
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2006, 08:29:02 AM »
Hi ZD,

I missed the first posting of this, so apologies for the delay in commenting.

I like it, you have a great opening there, will keep the children hooked.

You have thoughtfully used language that will appeal to children; lizards and fat spiders and things that go hiss! and humph! and slithering away - great! ;)

I am guessing that its aimed for maybe 3 - 7 years old ??? I think you may have a hit here, is it published or do you intend to get it published soon?

Hope you have luck finding an artist - I'd offer but I think it deserves much more than stick men (thats all I can draw)  :D

Keep posting

Smiley :)
Smiles make the world a happier place, share yours with a stranger it could make their day.

Offline ZooDoc

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Re: Miss Penny Meets Frogbert--comments please
« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2006, 11:05:29 AM »
Hi  :D !  I figured you were working hard on your own story and didn't have time to bother with mine.  But THX for taking the time.  I think it's almost ready for publication, but was wanting feedback in case I missed something.  Better if friends find errors or whatever than publishers.   

Yep, it's definitely aimed at the younger audience.  I first wrote it for my kids when they were small.  They used to beg me to read it over and over to them.  When I did a reading before a focus group of about 15, ranging in age from about 5-16, and four moms and a dad, EVERYBODY loved it.  Kids wanted a copy of the story and two parents begged me to make them a copy.  So I thought publishers would like it too. 

Would you like to see the next segment?  I know you're quite busy, but I always appreciate objective viewpoints.  BFN, ZD
ZooDoc, "Sculptor of Words"
"Success is a little like wrestling a gorilla. You do not quit when you're tired -You quit when the gorilla is tired." -Robert Strauss

Offline ZooDoc

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Re: Miss Penny Meets Frogbert--comments please
« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2006, 11:08:29 AM »
THX Sherry!  Guess I better post the next segment.  ZD
ZooDoc, "Sculptor of Words"
"Success is a little like wrestling a gorilla. You do not quit when you're tired -You quit when the gorilla is tired." -Robert Strauss

Offline Smiley

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Re: Miss Penny Meets Frogbert--comments please
« Reply #6 on: May 12, 2006, 11:29:00 AM »
Hi ZD,

Yes, get posting the next segment - I'd love to see it.

My daughter is 10 so I'll test it out on her too when you post. (she's away this weekend camping  :'( (missing her already) so it'll be Sunday night before she's home).

We had an author speaking at our local library (Jane Boyd) and she started in a similar way, not intending to publish she wrote a children's book for use in a castle that was intended as a way of teaching infant children how medieval people lived - it was a jumbo sized picture book that she put together and because adults & children liked it so much she went into print. Lets hope yours takes off too ;)

Speak soon

Smiley :)

Smiles make the world a happier place, share yours with a stranger it could make their day.

Offline ZooDoc

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Re: Miss Penny Meets Frogbert--comments please
« Reply #7 on: May 12, 2006, 11:49:39 AM »
Thanks  :D !  I remember when I was a kid our teacher used to read stories to the class with such emotion and expression.  I've observed other "library readers" doing likewise.  So in children's stories like this I find it most effective to read a story over a couple times to get the flow, emotion and thought before reading to kids.  It's great to watch their little eyes widen as a plot thickens, and their smiles and giggles as something funny happens in a story.  They're the "funnest" to read to!  So I better get the next segments out to you before Sunday.  Cheers, ZD
ZooDoc, "Sculptor of Words"
"Success is a little like wrestling a gorilla. You do not quit when you're tired -You quit when the gorilla is tired." -Robert Strauss