Author Topic: Cleaning Music  (Read 2367 times)

Offline fatoonch

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Cleaning Music
« on: June 06, 2009, 05:51:57 AM »
The scene is a radio station in Sydney. Three men are seated around a cramped studio and prepare for a live program.

Greg Briggs - Welcome to 2KR, I'm Greg Briggs and this is my weekly radio program "Music Beat". Today's guests are from different ends of the employment spectrum, but they have come together in the name of art for what must be the strangest combination I've ever seen. Musician, Tony SKandalas, has brought out 4 CD's in his career(mainly rock'n'roll) and was looking to collaborate with someone outside the music industry. He wanted to produce a concept album, which he says was inspired by James Morrison's music to Ken Done's art. Enter household and commercial cleaner , Reg Bilson, from a small outback town in Tasmania. Welcome gentleman. We'll start with you Reg. when you were approached to work with Tony, what did you think?

Reg - That's not exactly how it happened. Ah, I approached Tony.

Greg - Oh sorry about that, I just assumed it was Tony's idea. Tell us about it then.

Reg - That's alright Greg, everyone thinks it was Tony's idea. I had these musical visions in my head whenever I vacuumed and  mopped, and wanted to explore my feelings for cleaning in general, and somehow combine it with music.

Greg - Interesting. Will you use , say, a vacuum cleaner as a didjerido or any other cleaning implement to create music.

Reg - Ah, no we'll use normal instruments. (pauses for a bit) Maybe we might use my Dyson vacuum cleaner, I'm not sure.

Tony - I think I can summarize this collaboration. I'll be writing all the music, singing and playing all the instruments. Reg here, will be cleaning up my studio and we'll record him doing it, then splice it together with my music. There will, hopefully, be a melding of the two industries.

Greg -(To Reg) Fascinating. Now will there be any toilet humour. The flushing of a toilet , fart sounds, that sort of thing.

Reg - You non-cleaning people think cleaning is just toilets. There's a hell of a lot more to it than that. This album will be toilet free.

Greg -Sorry about that. Tony, how will the music industry view this collaboration? Do you think your reputation will be smeared?

Tony- I've spoken to some of my peers and they're all very supportive of my decision. I really think this could be a landmark album in the same vein as ST Peppers.

Greg - And what about you Reg. How will your peers view your decision? Will they see it as a defection from blue collar to white collar?

Reg - What do you mean by defacation. Isn't that toilet humour?

Greg - You missunderstood me. I said defection. Will your fellow cleaners hate you for working with a musician?

Reg - I don't think so.

Greg - (to Tony) Can you see this collaboration spawning more unusual  collaborations like say, oh I don't know, a musician and an entomologist for example.

Tony - Wow, that's a great idea. Did you improvise or was that part of your script?

Greg - That was as spontaneous as combustion.

Reg - (to Tony) Don't get any ideas. You can't dump me for another industry.

Tony- Relax Reg. We'll still go through with this project, but afterwards I'm a free agent.

Reg - How come the musician gets to be in each collaboration?

Greg - The music is the integral part.

Reg - So you think it's more important than the cleaning.

Greg- Not more important. You're misquoting me. The cleaning is a very big part of the collaboration. It's just that the music is the main thing.

Reg - When you put it like that Greg, it makes you think.

Greg - It makes you think or me think?

Reg - You, oh hang on, me.

Greg - Think about what?

Reg - Would you like to collaborate with me after this project?

Greg - Let me talk to my producers. Hang on for just a second.

Greg walks over to the producers and after some animated conversation, he comes back with a big smile.

Reg - What did they say?

Greg - They are very interested, but they want to see a demonstration of your talents. They asked if you wouldn't mind, could you clean up around here?

Reg begins to clean, as Greg continues to interview Tony amid a thick den of smoke.

« Last Edit: June 08, 2009, 05:42:29 AM by fatoonch »

Offline Pablo

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Re: Cleaning Music
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2009, 03:03:36 PM »

It could happen!

Actually, I shouldn't drink wine and read pieces like this - they give me ideas!

I liked it though. There was some humourous/clever dialogue in there and I'm wondering what follows, if anything.