Author Topic: A coffee-clutch discussion on: Too Many Descriptions  (Read 5037 times)

Offline ma100

  • Esteemed Contributor
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 30526
  • I don't need kinky boots, nothing will beat me.
Re: A coffee-clutch discussion on: Too Many Descriptions
« Reply #15 on: May 14, 2009, 03:24:48 PM »
You have to decide what you would prefer to read really Skip. But you must remember as the writer what you see in your head is the image you need to get down. You can see in your minds eye the girl is beautiful. Now you have to show that beauty to the reader.You already have the image now you have to convey that to the reader.

Gawd! I wish someone was about who knew what they are talking about. ;D

Where's the guys when you need them? :'(

Offline Skip Slocum

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12384
  • Writers are dreamers with pens
Re: A coffee-clutch discussion on: Too Many Descriptions
« Reply #16 on: May 14, 2009, 03:32:00 PM »
I think we agree there is a balance. The trick is to know if we are moving too slow through the story because we are adding too much descriptions. or.. Too fast because we(loosely put) aren't adding enough.

Offline ma100

  • Esteemed Contributor
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 30526
  • I don't need kinky boots, nothing will beat me.
Re: A coffee-clutch discussion on: Too Many Descriptions
« Reply #17 on: May 14, 2009, 03:36:08 PM »
No Skip, now you are talking about pacing the story. Too much description is just that, too much. It becomes repetitive and boring and the readers will either skip or worse stop reading.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I'm no blinkin' good at explaining things. HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP :'( :'( :'(

Offline Skip Slocum

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12384
  • Writers are dreamers with pens
Re: A coffee-clutch discussion on: Too Many Descriptions
« Reply #18 on: May 14, 2009, 03:38:24 PM »
LOL okay we'll put this on hold until others can join us in this. but I need to learn pacing too.

Offline ma100

  • Esteemed Contributor
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 30526
  • I don't need kinky boots, nothing will beat me.
Re: A coffee-clutch discussion on: Too Many Descriptions
« Reply #19 on: May 14, 2009, 03:43:52 PM »
Pacing is one of my flaws mate. I go with the action, conflict, tension furthering the story, but like running a race, you have to give the reader time to draw breath and slow the action down.

Sometimes my characters are trapped on the roller coaster. ;D ;D ;D

I am going to move this to the questions board Skip.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2009, 03:54:34 PM by ma100 »

Offline Skip Slocum

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12384
  • Writers are dreamers with pens
Re: A coffee-clutch discussion on: Too Many Descriptions
« Reply #20 on: May 14, 2009, 03:50:47 PM »
My fear is, while I'm slowing the action down, I'm droning on about stuff that is boring.

Offline pb

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 778
Re: A coffee-clutch discussion on: Too Many Descriptions
« Reply #21 on: May 14, 2009, 06:31:32 PM »
the first paragraph is great if you want to characterise him.

if you can get your hands on any derrida books or baudrillard (his 'the perfect crime' is amazing), who have redefined linguistics, then these suggest third person is just schizophrenic megalomaniac first person. and what fun that is then.


Offline Skip Slocum

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12384
  • Writers are dreamers with pens
Re: A coffee-clutch discussion on: Too Many Descriptions
« Reply #22 on: May 14, 2009, 06:45:49 PM »
well, I'm not sure what to say here.

Offline pb

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 778
Re: A coffee-clutch discussion on: Too Many Descriptions
« Reply #23 on: May 14, 2009, 07:02:18 PM »
description could be used for characterisiation. when i read your first paragraph i thought it was colouring him in too.

objective reality is impossible. describe what your chjaracters see. if they see intricate didactic reporting, then they are too (intricate didactic reporters).








Offline Matt Walker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2762
Re: A coffee-clutch discussion on: Too Many Descriptions
« Reply #24 on: May 15, 2009, 07:51:52 AM »
Instead of describing a charcter, for instance:

John was a tall man with green eyes and black, short hair. His jaw was chiselled and he wore leather as sleek as night, boots heavy and wearisome. He spoke like a banshee half-way through smoking a cigarette...

try to show through dialogue or action.

ie. He chased the youth through the cellar, having to duck his head, his boots thudding along with the heartbeat in his chest. 'Stop, kid,' he growled, 'else I'll drop ya.' His green eyes glinted in the darkness like those of a cat.

The first paragraph is me telling you what he looks like. The second is showing. I hope that sort of differentiates.
Represented by Sarah Manning of The Agency Group/United Talent Agency

www.walkerproductions.co.uk

Offline Skip Slocum

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12384
  • Writers are dreamers with pens
Re: A coffee-clutch discussion on: Too Many Descriptions
« Reply #25 on: May 15, 2009, 09:42:44 AM »
Yes all of this helps. Good points and discussion.

Offline thatollie

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1443
Re: A coffee-clutch discussion on: Too Many Descriptions
« Reply #26 on: May 16, 2009, 10:38:19 AM »
Tell me everything you can glean about the character Dirk.

Dirk folded his coat and put it on the seat next to him.
Never make a decision standing up.

Offline Skip Slocum

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12384
  • Writers are dreamers with pens
Re: A coffee-clutch discussion on: Too Many Descriptions
« Reply #27 on: May 16, 2009, 11:37:09 AM »
okay, I'll bite.
He, Dirk, is seated.
seems to be neat and or meticulous
is either alone or wants to remain so
He is now in an environment that is either, cleaner, dryer, or warmed than where he was or expects to be.
beyond that I am just supposing.

Offline thatollie

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1443
Re: A coffee-clutch discussion on: Too Many Descriptions
« Reply #28 on: May 16, 2009, 11:40:25 AM »
And you got all that from 13 words.
Never make a decision standing up.

Offline Skip Slocum

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12384
  • Writers are dreamers with pens
Re: A coffee-clutch discussion on: Too Many Descriptions
« Reply #29 on: May 16, 2009, 11:47:46 AM »
.....yes....?