Author Topic: A Fantasy Tale 1. "Someone to look up to." 521 words, Eddited  (Read 859 times)

Offline Max Zvyagintsev

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Hello all, some of you may have read these series that I've posted on "Review My Work" quite a while back and still am posting  ;D I have written and posted 7 so far and working on my 8th which should be out tomorow...or sometime soon  :o

This is the eddited edition (sounds fancy doesn't it?  :D) of my work so feel free to have a read, comment if you like but mostly enjoy it.

Big thanks to Alice, Skip, Midnight, Conor, dchosen1, Enthusiast and Iamthefatstig for your comments and suggestions.  8)


So there I was, imprisoned in the deepest, darkest dungeon known to ever exist. Where not even a glint of light could seep through. The more time I spent in this cursed place, the more I realized what small chances there were of escape. However I, Sergeon Blade, a legend amongst my people could not give up as easily. There must be a way, I thought.

 My hands search across the floor, sides and ceiling of the place, building a distinct yet vague picture in my head and that’s when I found it. My way out. My freedom!

 A deep scratch atop of the ceiling, I peered towards it but even though being unsuccessful in seeing the miracle, it was there. I could feel my spirit awakening from its slumber. Strength built up inside of me quickly. It was time to make my escape. The scar gradually began to split, pieces of rock plummeting down to the floor with every punch I vigorously threw at it. Reluctant to give in to the agonizing pain that scorched through my hands I'd finally done it.

 Sweat and blood glistened in the beams of sunlight creep through the open cracks within the ceiling. I felt overwhelmed with joy and power laying a final critical hit shattering most of the ceiling and the sides as well. Plunging myself to one side I watched as the stonewalls collapsed to rubble and that is the story of how I, the mighty Sergeon Blade escaped the clutches of endless darkness!

"Wow, tell us another one Mr. Blade!" pleaded the kids. Eyes wild with excitement all 7 of them sitting around Sergeon.
"I think you've all heard enough children, get back to your studies now," said a gentle voice.
The children moaned but obeyed the order waving their last goodbyes to Sergeon.
"You really think that was necessary?"
"I just feel they should spend their time paying attention to their studies then listen to your silly stories," she replied.
"My stories are inspirational," said Sergeon with great enthusiasm and a touch of sarcasm.

"Besides, what do you think most of them want to be when they grow up? Peasants? No, they want to be brave knights, heroes maybe even legends and therefore they need an idol to look up to don't you think?"
"You want them to look up to a man who punches holes in the walls?"
Sergeon sighed.
"Mm maybe you should tell them the time how you lost your title of "Arena Champion" to a woman," giggled Pam yet looking rather studious at the same time.
"A very attractive and seductive woman," he added in a soft tone voice winking at Pam.

Pam's face slightly went red as she rolled her eyes.
"Just don't be late for the meeting at League of Heroes… again…"
Sergeon stood transfixed watching Pam's sleek black hair dancing in the breeze as she merged within the crowd. Sergeon could not help but notice her captivating beauty as her face appeared in his mind once more.
"I'll be there," the words slurred out of his mouths, his mind still thinking of Pam. 

Thanks for taking your time to read through  ;)


"The World doesn't owe you anything, it was here first"

"You fall before you learn to stand up"