Author Topic: Flash Fiction: Daddy (115 words)  (Read 10016 times)

Offline Joe Mynhardt

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Re: Flash Fiction: Daddy (115 words)
« Reply #15 on: July 22, 2009, 04:02:07 PM »
Thanks for the positive replies, Paula, Arbraun and Amyboz.
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Offline Tina

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Re: Flash Fiction: Daddy (115 words)
« Reply #16 on: July 22, 2009, 10:19:07 PM »
This is a terrific read!   

Would make a great (classic) campfire story!   


arbraun

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Re: Flash Fiction: Daddy (115 words)
« Reply #17 on: July 23, 2009, 11:27:47 AM »
You're very welcome.

Bomber

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Re: Flash Fiction: Daddy (115 words)
« Reply #18 on: July 30, 2009, 02:15:10 AM »
I liked this a lot.

Offline Joe Mynhardt

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Re: Flash Fiction: Daddy (115 words)
« Reply #19 on: July 30, 2009, 02:35:34 AM »
The story has been edited a bit and published if you want to check
it out.

The link is on my signature.
Founder and CEO of Crystal Lake Publishing - Tales from the Darkest Depths.
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Offline Jos

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Re: Flash Fiction: Daddy (115 words)
« Reply #20 on: July 30, 2009, 02:40:04 AM »
Excellent, Joe. Well done!
One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time - André Gide

Go on, buy a copy. http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/the-winter-of-our-mixed-content/7967165

Offline 7thdaughter

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Re: Flash Fiction: Daddy (115 words)
« Reply #21 on: July 30, 2009, 12:36:34 PM »
Loved it. It drew me in then shocked me.
How many times must a heart be broken, the spirit crushed, dreams destroyed before the Soul gives up?

Offline bowmore bill

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Re: Flash Fiction: Daddy (115 words)
« Reply #22 on: August 25, 2009, 04:58:41 PM »
I originally wrote this for the Flash Fiction challenge, but couldn't
fit in the 3 compulsary words.  So now I just want to share it with
all of you.  It's the first of my stories that my wife loves. (I think it's because
there's no scary vampires and demons in it  ;D

Hope you enjoy it...


“Help!” a man shouted as he stumbled from the lake – Soaked.
“My little girl is still in the car! Please help!”

Bystanders stormed forward.

“My baby!” he pleaded as he paced up and down, digging his fingers into his hair.
“Dear God,” he cried, “Please don’t let my baby die.

He collapsed onto the ground and buried his fist into the sand.  “Take me instead.”

More people arrived at the scene, yet only one bystander entered the water.

“Why aren’t you saving my baby?” he pleaded with bystanders.  “What’s wrong with you people?”

The bystander exited the water with a small blonde girl cradled in his arms. “She’s alright,” he sighed, “but the father’s dead.”

Nice twist at the end Joe.

jpc77645

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Re: Flash Fiction: Daddy (115 words)
« Reply #23 on: September 08, 2009, 08:45:25 PM »
My my, very well done. So intriguing and shocking with the ability to make me feel something so intense in so few words. Kudos Joe.

Offline ScribeSeeker

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Re: Flash Fiction: Daddy (115 words)
« Reply #24 on: October 07, 2009, 12:22:19 PM »
Wow.  I absolutely loved it.  I'll admit it took me two seconds, but I'm feeling slow today.  :)  Thank you for sharing this - I really enjoyed it.
Eileen
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Writing my first novel, tentatively entitled "Better"

Hazel7797

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Re: Flash Fiction: Daddy (115 words)
« Reply #25 on: October 17, 2009, 08:39:59 AM »
Wow!  This gave me chills.  I love flash fiction!  Very powerful in so few words.

Hazel x

Offline DGSquared

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Re: Flash Fiction: Daddy (115 words)
« Reply #26 on: November 05, 2009, 01:09:00 PM »
Brilliant Joe. You sent me through an entire slew of emotions in so few words. I was astonished - delightfully so. Very good piece. Congratulations on getting it published.
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Offline herron

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Re: Flash Fiction: Daddy (115 words)
« Reply #27 on: November 05, 2009, 04:27:05 PM »
Other than a few nitpicky things about punctuation (which I'm not sure is even called for here in this thread), this was good. Thanks for sharing it.  :)
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Offline Joe Mynhardt

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Re: Flash Fiction: Daddy (115 words)
« Reply #28 on: November 06, 2009, 01:34:53 AM »
Thanks for all the nice comments. The story has been edited, lenthened a bit and published.
Feel free to check it out:

http://www.be-a-better-writer.com/daddy-flash-fiction.html
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Two time Bram Stoker Award nominated editor publishing only the best in Dark Fiction. Check out Crystal Lake's books and grab two free titles by joining the newsletter.

Brenda Holloway

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Re: Flash Fiction: Daddy (115 words)
« Reply #29 on: November 06, 2009, 06:23:24 PM »
 8)