Author Topic: A Taste of Red - Part 3 (687 words)  (Read 1863 times)

Nelodra

  • Guest
A Taste of Red - Part 3 (687 words)
« on: January 13, 2009, 04:31:46 AM »
Parts 1 and 2 of the fairy tale can be read here:
http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=18488.0 (part 1)
http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=18505.0 (part 2)

The fourth and final part will be posted tomorrow. 
Enjoy!



Osar, her stepmother’s friend, didn’t seem too bad at all, and when she was completely honest with herself, Feanna had to admit that she actually even liked him.

Yet, she couldn’t shrug off the uneasy feeling that she should know him. That they had met before. He seemed so familiar.

It wasn’t until she found herself all alone with him, deep in the woods and somehow completely separated from the others, that it finally dawned on her: he was the man her stepmother had ordered to get rid of the bug.

Her eyes suddenly wide with fear, she looked up at him and said, “You’re not Yelena’s friend, are you? She… she just hired you to get rid of me, didn’t she?”

He shrugged.
“I’m a hitman, yes. It’s my profession, and I’m pretty darn good at it too. I never screwed up.”

“Great,” Feanna whispered before she fell to the ground; her entire body shaking.

Osar knelt down beside her.
“Look,” he said, “I don’t know why she wants you dead, but I do know that I’ve never killed an innocent person, and I have no intention of changing that. I do have morals, you know.”

“A killer with morals,” Feanna shrieked, “how touching.”

“Feanna, we all have morals – even if we kill people for our living. I’m no different from other people there.”
His voice sounded soft and soothing now.

He helped her to her feet.

“Listen to me closely, girl. I need you to run now. Run away from here as far as you can. Get out of the country if at all possible, and don’t ever come back here.”

He pressed a $100 note in her hand and urged her once more, “Go now, Feanna. Run!”

***

Feanna ran, without looking or even caring where she went. She ran for as long as her legs would carry her – and they could for a surprisingly long time, but eventually she had to give up.

She sat down under a tree to rest for a while. Her eyes grew heavy and she fell asleep.

When she woke up again, she was no longer sitting propped up under that tree, but lying in a small, wooden bed.

Scared, yet curious as to where she might be, she got up and had a look around. The room in which she found herself, was small and dark. The air smelled mouldy, the curtain in front of the window had an indistinct greyish colour and the damp blanket on her bed was rough and patched.

She left the room, went down a flight of narrow stairs and opened the door to what she figured would be the living room.

Seven pairs of dark eyes looked at her as she stood frozen in the door opening.

“Welcome to our little home, Snow White,” spoke one of the Seven, “please make yourself useful, and we will harm you in no way.”

“Holy shit,” Feanna thought as she looked at the ugly creatures, “now I’ve been captured by a gang of Dybbukim – and certainly not the good ones. Just my luck!”

“Sit down and eat, beautiful lady,” the Dybbuk continued, “we can’t expect you to work on an empty stomach.”

***

Feanna’s life with the Seven Dybbukim wasn’t entirely bad, but it certainly wasn’t good. She felt lonely and scared all the time, and hated the things she had to do to keep them content.

It wasn’t just jobs around the house they made her do. Those, she didn’t really mind, but the other things! Things that haunted her in her nightmares, and made her feel dirty during her waking hours.

Often, she wanted to run away, but deep down she knew this to be impossible. There was no escape. The Dybbukim would hunt her down and find her, and then her fate would be even worse.

And so she found herself going down to the little stream behind the Dybbukim’s cottage several times a day. There she took off her clothes and bathed. Tried to wash the dirt and guilt away, but it was never enough, so she kept coming back.


(To be continued)

Part 4 is posted here: http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=18539.0
« Last Edit: January 14, 2009, 06:32:01 AM by Nelodra »

Offline Skip Slocum

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12384
  • Writers are dreamers with pens
Re: A Taste of Red - Part 3 (687 words)
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2009, 04:39:36 AM »
I ain't gonna say nothing,,,but I'm smiling.  ;D

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

  • http://www.writestreet.com/writestree
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 31219
  • Hello from Texas
    • Alice's Hide Away
Re: A Taste of Red - Part 3 (687 words)
« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2009, 11:04:46 AM »
Nel, another good segment of your story.

Dybbukim is a new word/name for me, but you painted a word picture in my mind that gave me a fairly clear picture

I was so curious about Dybbukim that I did a search and as a result, I learned something new (to me) also. That's always a good thing.

MWC Charity Publications.
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight>
The universe is made of stories, not of atoms. -Muriel Rukeyser, poet and activist (15 Dec 1913-1980)

R. L. Copple's: http://www.rlcopple.com/

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.
-Mohandas K. Gandhi

Nelodra

  • Guest
Re: A Taste of Red - Part 3 (687 words)
« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2009, 12:35:52 PM »
Thanks Alice.

I like using "strange" words from time to time, but always try to introduce them in such a way that the reader will have no problem understanding them.  :)

Nelodra

  • Guest
Re: A Taste of Red - Part 3 (687 words)
« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2009, 06:32:37 AM »
I just posted part 4 - the final part of the fairy tale here:
http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=18539.0

Norikoann

  • Guest
Re: A Taste of Red - Part 3 (687 words)
« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2009, 12:09:19 PM »
I liked the twist on the happy dwarves to the evil dybbukins(?) .

Nelodra

  • Guest
Re: A Taste of Red - Part 3 (687 words)
« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2009, 01:45:36 PM »
Thanks Nori.