Author Topic: A Taste of Red - part 2 (984 words)  (Read 3806 times)

Nelodra

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A Taste of Red - part 2 (984 words)
« on: January 12, 2009, 05:40:40 AM »
Part 1 of the fairy tale can be read here:
http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=18488.0

Part 3 will be posted tomorrow.  :)
Enjoy!



As the weeks turned into months, the state of the once beautiful house deteriorated. Leftovers and dirty dishes littered the kitchen counters and the dining table; the litterbin spilled its contents to the floor, dirty clothes lay everywhere and the vermin that was attracted by the garbage made Fessar and Feanna susceptible to all kinds of nasty diseases.

When Fessar finally realized that his grief was going to get himself and his little girl killed, he decided he needed someone to look after the house and his daughter. A live-in nanny, that seemed to be the answer. He put an ad in the national paper, and waited.

Several candidates applied for the job, but after they’d been on an interview with Fessar they all phoned to tell him they had changed their minds. All, except for the beautiful Yelena.

Yelena with her skin whiter than snow, eyes green as olives and long, curly hair red as copper. Not that Fessar noticed her beauty – not immediately anyway, but as time progressed and his grief subsided, things between him and Yelena began to change.

***

Feanna was ten years old, when her father got married to Yelena, and although it was supposed to be a happy occasion, Feanna always remembered it as the saddest day of her life. Even sadder than the day her mother died.

She didn’t like Yelena. Never had and never would; and she couldn’t understand why her father would let that horrible woman take her mother’s place. But Dad didn’t seem to have noticed how unhappy his daughter had always been in the presence of Yelena.

Yelena. Something was wrong about her. Feanna just knew it, from the day she first met her. The way Yelena looked at her! It made her feel as if she was in the way. A nuisance that should be gotten rid of as soon as possible.

Not that Yelena had ever actually been unkind to her. Not at all. She’d been sweet, gentle and caring. But those looks when Dad wasn’t around. They always sent cold shivers down her spine.

Why did her father have to get married to that horrible woman?

After the wedding life went on as usual, and Feanna avoided her stepmother as much as possible. She would spend more and more time alone in her room, with her books, her pens and paper… That’s when she was happiest.

As time went by however, and Feanna grew older, she noticed how her stepmother would stand in front of the mirror for hours, looking at her reflection. Her mouth forming words she never really spoke aloud, but that seemed to sound like:
“Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of us all?”

***

One day, as Feanna came home from school, she saw two big suitcases in the hall. Wondering what was going on, she went to look for her father and found him in the study.

“Dad, what’s those suitcases doing in the hall?”

Dad turned to look at her, got up from behind his desk and said, “I need to go on a business trip to the Myracene Continent, and will be gone for a couple of months, my dear.”

“To… to Myracene?” she looked at him in shock. Everybody knew Myracene was the most dangerous country in the world. Why did he have to go there? When he’d never even been on a business trip before! What in the name of the gods was going on?

“Yeah, to Myracene,” his voice sounded a bit hoarse, “I’ll be leaving within the hour. Be good, okay?”

“I will, Dad. Please, take care. I don’t want to… to…” she didn’t finish her sentence; couldn’t bring herself to say those dreaded words.

“I’ll be fine, I promise,” he said, “don’t worry about your old man, sweetie.”

She wrapped her arms around him; held him for a long time, making sure he couldn’t see the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. Then she let go of him and ran to her room, where she fell down on her bed and cried herself to sleep.

A few days later, as she was on her way to the library, she heard voices from the living room. Her stepmother talking to a stranger.

“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s nothing more than a nasty bug, and I need to get rid of it now.”

“How much will you pay me?”
The stranger’s voice sounded cold, detached. Threatening even, but Feanna didn’t care. She was fine with anyone threatening her step mum.

Humming to herself contentedly, she went into the library and promptly forgot all about the conversation.

***

That weekend, early Saturday morning, Yelena had some news for Feanna.

“Since your Dad is away on this business trip, and you seemed a bit down, I thought you should go out and have some fun. There’s a hunting party in the woods this afternoon, and I think it would be an excellent idea for you to join it.”

“I don’t know,” Feanna looked at Yelena uncomfortably, “I think I’d really rather stay home.”
“But my sweet girl, I know how you enjoy to go hunting. There’s no point in your moping around here all day just because you miss your Dad. Don’t you think he’d want you to enjoy yourself?”

“Well, yeah, I guess so. But I’m so not in the mood…”

“I understand. Believe me, I understand completely, but hanging around the house all weekend will only get you more depressed.
“Anyway, I’ve arranged for an old friend of mine to pick you up by noon, and accompany you to the hunt. I’m sure the two of you will get along just fine, and you’ll enjoy yourself.”

Seeing that she had no choice but to do as her stepmother told her, she got up from the breakfast table and went upstairs to take a shower and get dressed.


(To be continued)

Part 3: http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=18514.new#new
« Last Edit: January 13, 2009, 04:32:40 AM by Nelodra »

Norikoann

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Re: A Taste of Red - part 2 (984 words)
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2009, 06:10:21 AM »
I really like the dialogue.  And it's a good story.  I'm enjoying it.

Nelodra

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Re: A Taste of Red - part 2 (984 words)
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2009, 06:16:27 AM »
Thanks Nori,

It's an oldie, and the writing could definitely be smoother and a bit tighter in some places, but I still like it.
I'm glad you're enjoying it.  :)

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: A Taste of Red - part 2 (984 words)
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2009, 01:11:28 PM »
Ha, I'm still waiting for the stuff to hit the fan. ;D

Nelodra

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Re: A Taste of Red - part 2 (984 words)
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2009, 01:17:06 PM »
LOL, Skip!

Third part will be posted tomorrow.
Things will get interesting there, I promise.  ;D

Offline thatLous

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Re: A Taste of Red - part 2 (984 words)
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2009, 02:36:06 PM »
That poor kid :o Is the thing that's going to happen to her that I think will happen to her will happen?... to her?

Nelod Chaos-god's just being evil... ;D ;D ;D ;D

Nelodra

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Re: A Taste of Red - part 2 (984 words)
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2009, 05:56:47 PM »
I have no idea what you are thinking will happen to her, Louie, but one thing is for sure:
That little god of chaos is an evil git.  ;D

Offline thatLous

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Re: A Taste of Red - part 2 (984 words)
« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2009, 05:59:13 PM »
Yes, how right you are... ;D ;D Poor Feanna... shame on them, shame shame... >:(

Nelodra

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Re: A Taste of Red - part 2 (984 words)
« Reply #8 on: January 12, 2009, 06:04:21 PM »
Oh well, maybe the other gods will be able to thwart that nasty chaos guy's evil plans?
We can't really tell beforehand how things will work out, can we?  ;D

Offline thatLous

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Re: A Taste of Red - part 2 (984 words)
« Reply #9 on: January 12, 2009, 06:08:42 PM »
Isn't that how stories always work? Tease the reader, poke them with a sharp stick, wave a bright red cloth in front of their faces while shouting 'Toro toro!', and tap dance on their shocked expressions afterwards...

Whee!


On a more serious note (and yes, Louie can do serious once in a while ;D), looking forward to the next installment! :)

Nelodra

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Re: A Taste of Red - part 2 (984 words)
« Reply #10 on: January 12, 2009, 06:11:00 PM »
I promise to post it tomorrow, so you won't have to wait all too long.

Well, tomorrow would actually already be later today, after I've had a couple of hours sleep, since my "tomorrow" has started ten minutes ago.  :D

Offline thatLous

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Re: A Taste of Red - part 2 (984 words)
« Reply #11 on: January 12, 2009, 06:16:40 PM »
'Tomorrow' started five hours ago for me ;D ;D

Nelodra

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Re: A Taste of Red - part 2 (984 words)
« Reply #12 on: January 12, 2009, 06:27:05 PM »
That's right, you're in the Philippines, aren't you?

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: A Taste of Red - part 2 (984 words)
« Reply #13 on: January 12, 2009, 10:07:16 PM »
Nel, I'm enjoying this immencely and looking forward to tomorrow's instalment.

There was just one 'tiny' thing that snagged my toe as I passed.

I think you meant "went" instead of "got". Like I said, not a biggy.

As time got by however, and Feanna grew older, she noticed how her stepmother would stand in front of the mirror for hours, looking at her reflection. Her mouth forming words she never really spoke aloud, but that seemed to sound like:
“Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of us all?”
MWC Charity Publications.
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight>
The universe is made of stories, not of atoms. -Muriel Rukeyser, poet and activist (15 Dec 1913-1980)

R. L. Copple's: http://www.rlcopple.com/

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.
-Mohandas K. Gandhi

Nelodra

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Re: A Taste of Red - part 2 (984 words)
« Reply #14 on: January 13, 2009, 04:17:54 AM »
Nel, I'm enjoying this immencely and looking forward to tomorrow's instalment.

There was just one 'tiny' thing that snagged my toe as I passed.

I think you meant "went" instead of "got". Like I said, not a biggy.

As time got by however, and Feanna grew older, she noticed how her stepmother would stand in front of the mirror for hours, looking at her reflection. Her mouth forming words she never really spoke aloud, but that seemed to sound like:
“Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of us all?”


Thanks, Alice.
I didn't know that. I'll go change it immediately.  :)