Author Topic: ~14~ washed in worry  (Read 981 times)

Offline Skip Slocum

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~14~ washed in worry
« on: December 31, 2008, 06:05:29 PM »
~14~ washed in worry

With all their clothes clean, dry, and folded, they went back to their room.

“Sweetie you go get cleaned up first, you can braid your hair after and I’ll help you when I get out.”

     That thought delighted Faith as she closed the door to the bathroom. Gary waited until he heard the water in the shower and he made a call back to Vegas on his cell phone.

      Billy might have been Gary’s boss but he was also the only man in the world Gary could trust. In this modern day of computers and recording devices, Gary didn’t want to be too specific on the phone. By talking vaguely and in a code two old soldiers have come to understand over the years, he was able to alert Billy that trouble was probably following him home.

     Faith’s husband probably waited until he knew which way she ran before he could start causing trouble. Distance was on their side for the night. The police report recorded his license number so Gary had to figure Jake would know where they were heading.

     It would take a few hours for the word to get passed all the way back to Georgia. Gary talked to himself as he added hours in his head, after that, an hour or two to launch a plan to get her back. Even if Jake flew to Texas Gary and Faith would be gone by the time he got here. However, even if he changed to the northern route, there were plenty of places an ambush could be waiting for them so Gary called Billy one more time.

“Yeah it’s me again, I need a favor. Have Beth rent a car for me at the Houston William P.  Airport, and make arraignments to pick my bike up.….. Yes, I’ll leave it in short-term parking…..Exactly, if he’s looking for two people on a motorcycle the smartest thing I could do is not be on one…..No if I jumped on a plane that would leave a trail and I don’t want to be a target as I get off of one. I’m fine; in fact I haven’t felt this good in years.”

   He also had Billy wire some money so he could stop using his credit cards. He managed to set things in motion before she finished her shower.

   Faith traded places with him and he took his turn in the bathroom. As the water flowed, Gary closed his eyes and remembered his time in the Army. This was his way of turning on the machine. Things that lay dormant would now need to come back to him. However, he had to remember to keep Faith close to him; if she noticed a change in his eyes, it may scare her.

     Gary could already see this situation blowing up before it even got started. The best thing he could do was plan for a viscous war and if it came, Faith wouldn’t even notice if he played it right. Well he could hope, but he knew nothing ever went as smooth as planed.

     He dried off and put on some clean boxers before he opened the door to see how Faith was doing. She was waiting for him as she watched TV. Laying face down on one of the beds, she was only wearing her underwear too. As soon as she saw him, her face brightened up.

“You ready to help me?”

“Sure what are we doing?”

“You said you would help me fix my hair.”

     Gary sat on the edge of the bed and Faith giggled at how inept he was at braiding at first. With her patience, he finally got the hang of it. After he put the final band on the end of her new braid, she jumped up on the bed beside him.

     He sat with his back against the headboard and Faith lay across his legs as they watched TV. He lightly rubbed her back as he traced her bruises, grimacing at the color of each one. He could almost read the order and the frequency she received her abuse. Faith knew what he was doing and fell silent as they both thought about how the marks got there.

     After turning off all the lights, the mindless chatter on the TV, they pulled back the covers and let Faith jump in first. Gary lay on his side and she backed up to him using his arm for her pillow. Gary drew her to him as if he hadn’t seen her for years and missed everything about her. She loved the heat of his body and the feel of his strong hands lightly exploring her, still remaining respectful of her hidden secrets.

“Gary?”

“I’m sorry sweetie I just can’t stop myself.”

“Oh it’s not that, please don’t stop, I feel…..pretty when you touch me like that.”

“What is it then, doll?”

“It sounds weird asking you this question the way you’re touching me but….do you think I’m a bad person?”

Gary stopped his rubbing and squeezed her, “No-never, why would you say that?”

“Well look at me, well not really but you know what I mean; how long have we known each other and, and…”

“Just say it baby”

“I’m virtually naked in your bed wishing you would…do things to me and… good girls don’t do things like this so what does that make me? Am I….”

Gary stopped her, “Sweetie sometimes fate tries to fix a grave injustice that has been dealt to someone….Somehow we found each other and became a team, a pair….an …us.”

“But…”

“Wait, I’m not done….close your eyes for a minute.”

“Okay….”

“Now I want you to look forward in time…say….five years….its bed time and you are just getting ready to crash….”

Faith listened with her eyes closed.

“Now tell me what you see?”

“Okay….let’s see….it’s dark like it is now…. we’re in our big bed….with lots of fluffy pillows….and you’re kissing me, tickling and…”

“Did you hear what you said? You said, we and our. That means you’re planning to stay with me and let the us grow stronger.”

Faith grinned and wiggled against him a little more feeling better even before he finished.
 
“And if you still see us together, then being in my bed is not just a stepping stone or a one night romance. So who’s to say our beginning was too fast: not everything has rules especially the heart.”

She turned over and they tangled their legs together as he kissed the tip of her nose.

“Will you tell me that every night?”

“Yes darling, every night and when we’re ready I’ll say it without clumsy words.”

“God, you have a silver tongue; Kiss me my prince.”

“Ribbit” *
« Last Edit: December 31, 2008, 06:45:24 PM by Skip Slocum »

Offline ma100

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Re: ~14~ washed in worry
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2008, 08:46:31 PM »
Hi Skip
Just a quick Crit. What I think you need to do is recognise the bits that could be done with action mate and the bits that don't move the story. What I mean is the reader would rather see what his plan is than her delighted expression because of the hair braiding.


With all their clothes clean, dry, and folded, they went back to their room.

'Sweetie you go get cleaned up first, you can braid your hair after and I'll help you when I get out. '
 
Instead of her thought below how about adding something to the above dialogue . (He obviously wants to be on his own desperate to get her out of the way)


That thought delighted Faith as she closed the door to the bathroom. Gary waited until he heard the water in the shower and he made a call back to Vegas on his cell phone.

Faith smiled as she closed the door to the bathroom. Gary waited until he heard the water flow then grabbed the phone and dialled Billy. (presumably we already know Billy is his boss and in Vegas)


Billy might have been Gary's boss but he was also the only man in the world Gary could trust. In this modern day of computers and recording devices, Gary didn't want to be too specific on the phone. By talking vaguely and in a code two old soldiers have come to understand over the years, he was able to alert Billy that trouble was probably following him home.

Okay this bit could be conversation from Gary’s side To show the reader what was happenning. (maybe)

“Billy, I haven’t much time.”

“No listen, ...”

(Then something that Billy would understand all be it with a tag to show the code)
I hope you understand what I am getting at here mate.

Flippin' heck Skip . I hope I am not confusing you mate. :)



Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: ~14~ washed in worry
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2008, 08:53:06 PM »
no you're not confusing me I can see what you're telling me. let me chew on it for a bit. :'(
Skip