Author Topic: ~15~Seeing His Pain  (Read 1597 times)

Offline Skip Slocum

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~15~Seeing His Pain
« on: December 30, 2008, 05:23:49 AM »
The whole story is on this link:
If this isn't a total bore, I would enjoy knowing that too.

This is a story of a man that lost his wife a few years ago and has discovered a new love in a woman that ran away from her abusive husband. I am trying to write emotions right now and discriptions of their surroundings have taken a back seat in this exercise.

~15~ Seeing His Pain

   Every now and then, someone that is burdened with guilt or regret, will talk in their sleep. Sometimes if you really listen the cries of anguish are interrupted by pleas of forgiveness, they can be clear enough for others to understand.

     With Gary’s arms around Faith, her heart was breaking as she listened to him begging Linda not to die. It almost crushed her to hear him calling out for another woman and knowing he carried a broken heart. However, through her own tears she also realized his hugs and kisses were not whimsical gestures splayed by a friend, each one meant something to him and therefore, from that moment on, she would count them as her treasures.

     Now she understood why this beautiful man didn’t claw at her or force himself on her. His love was so strong it still held, even through the vale of death. If he offered this love, she would cherish it. If there was hope for a broken heart, she would gladly take what he could give, never asking or expecting anything more.

     When morning came Gary hid behind his mask once more, being cheerful or maybe it was something he didn’t even know or remember. Faith remembered and decided to keep her secret promising to show him her love.

     Gary turned to lay on his stomach, Faith sat over his legs massaging him, enjoying the strange sounds she coaxed from him.

“I’m warning you, I’ll give you…..two years to stop this or…”

“Or what?” she bit him.

“Or…I’ll force myself to enjoy it longer. How did you sleep angel?” 

“MMM, good and you?”

“I had the strangest dream, but you’ll never guess who was there to save me?”

Coyly she grinned, “Who?”

“You my pretty little angel, you showed me….well things I was convinced were illusions. You might say you gave me Faith.”

“Oh, very ‘Punny’, Mr. Sams, like I haven’t heard that before.”

     Gary flipped her onto the bed and crouched over her. If it weren’t for their undergarments this would have been the most intimate a man could get with a woman.

     What was going to be a playful tickling match ended up the most wonderful frozen moment. Looking into her eyes he didn’t say, I love you, it didn’t seem appropriate just yet but she heard it anyway and she could hardly wait to hear it in all the other ways.

       Their sign language had developed another unspoken phrase, in short, a biting of the bottom lip and a strong exhale meant, ‘We better stop this before it gets out of hand.’

Gary turned and sat on the edge of the bad while Faith slid up against him with her head still on one of the pillows.

“Okay, I don’t want to be a kill-joy but I’ve been thinking about your husband.”

Faith closed her eyes but listened knowing Gary had a good reason for being concerned.

“I figure he’s gonna come looking for you, if you haven’t changed your mind and you still want us to be together, we better get invisible until we can find out where he’s at.”

She didn’t say anything but her eager nodding let him know she was game to follow whatever her wanted to do.

     Some men are good at thinking like hunters so when they become prey it is easier to out-think the hunter. Gary figured Jake and anyone else looking for them would assume they took the northern highway when they didn’t see them on a motorcycle. By the time they figure out Faith had slipped past them in a car, they would be home.

    Gary had one more trick up his sleeve. That police report didn’t say where he worked and being head of security, he could stash Faith in a room in the casino for weeks if he had to. This way he could clean up any mess that came looking.

Once they got the car Gary called Beth and squeezed Faith’s hand at the same time,

“Hey doll it’s me….yes she’s right here, I’ll put her on in a minute. I got a mission for you, have one of my guys…ah, Steve, get Steve to go to my house and collect anything that connects me to the casino. I’ll fill you in later but this is important, in my study take the grey filing cabinet and on the wall there are a few plaques….yes everything including my mail. And sweetie it needs to be done now. Tell Steve to go packing heat and take two others with him. this isn’t a game.”

     Gary felt better knowing if Jake found his house, there wouldn’t be an easy trail for him to follow. Then he could set up a few snares of his own. He hadn’t figured out what he was going to do if he latched onto Jake but it wasn’t going to be a Sunday picnic.

   A quick glance at Faith, talking to Beth on the phone, let him know Jake couldn’t just turn up dead because Faith would know he did it and how could she trust him after that. This complicated things a little more but Gary was a very patient man.

“Beth says we’re gonna do some serious shopping when I get there.”

“How about I loan you my card and you promise to pick out a few things I would love to taste you in, err I mean see you wearing”

“Gary Sams, you’re a bad man but you have a deal.”

“don’t forget you might need to come with me on a few evenings when formal attire is required so plan a few outfits for all occasions. Including spending long nights in my bed.”

“Ooo you are simply evil but I’m glad we think alike, Boss.”

Faith slid over next to him and rested her arm on the back of his seat while he drove. Now that he was driving a car, his other hand got a chance to play with her legs.

     Turning on the radio, she found out Gary had a pretty good voice and swooned when he sang love songs to her. He got quiet during some of the song Faith was sure he could sing.

“You loved her so very much didn’t you?” Faith played with his hair.

“Yes I did, but talking about it with you feels like…. I’m cheating on you and her memory. That might sound strange but…”

“No, I think I know what you mean, and she was the luckiest woman that ever lived.”

“I dreamed she knows about you… she smiled.”

   Gary squeezed her hand and forced his own smile. The glint in his eyes were the birth of tears but they chose not to embarrass him and for that he was grateful. * 
« Last Edit: December 31, 2008, 06:06:57 PM by Skip Slocum »

Offline blödhgarm

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Re: ~15~Seeing His Pain
« Reply #1 on: January 01, 2009, 02:59:23 AM »
I like it so far. Keep going with it  :D
I think it's good that you wrote about how they knew what each other was thinking in a tacit moment, because it looks like they really understand and know each other.  :)

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: ~15~Seeing His Pain
« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2009, 03:07:42 AM »
Thank you, I worked hard on this one,, I have a long way to go but I'm still running.

Offline Hugh

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Re: ~15~Seeing His Pain
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2009, 11:22:35 AM »
Hello, Skip

You say you’ve done a lot of work on this. It shows.  Your writing is getting much tighter, and more and more enjoyable to read.  The emotion bit comes across well, without being overdone.  And I particularly like the way you show Gary’s capabilities as a tough, but not over-macho, character, e.g by thinking like a hunter, he can take appropriate action now that he is the hunted.

Just one teeny niggle.  In the first sentence you wrote “… someone that is burdened with guilt …”   Shouldn’t that be “someone who is burdened”, or just “someone burdened”? 

I realise the way you wrote it is probably correct, but somehow I find it jarring when “that” is used for a person, rather than for an inanimate object.  Apart from that, I enjoyed it.



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Re: ~15~Seeing His Pain
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2009, 12:11:04 PM »
OK, in ch. 14 you have Billy wire him some money so he won't have to use his credit card, and leave an easy trail for Jake, and now you have Gary offering Faith to go shopping using his credit card?

I though I noticed that earlier and now I decided to go back and look it up.
You'll have to fix that, buddy.

BTW: check your email and your google docs. Got a surprise for you.  ;D
Two surprises, actually.  8)
« Last Edit: January 01, 2009, 12:14:07 PM by Nelodra »

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: ~15~Seeing His Pain
« Reply #5 on: January 01, 2009, 02:43:56 PM »
Hey Guys,

Hugh, Yes good point I'll go back and clean that up. Sometimes when I sit down to write I haven't blocked everything else out yet. from now on I should always go back and rework my first paragraph because you and many others have spotted more problems in my opening para than other places in the chapters. cool-beans thank you.

Nelodra, yes thats true, but my thinking on that part was,,, Jake already knows they will be living in the Vegas area the cash was so he couldn't track their route. but that does sound a bit sticky so in the final edit I will probemly edit those two sections so that question won't bother others, thank you for catching that nugget.